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Not Logged InFriday March 29, 2024 - 12:15
Article
Story: Embracing the Rain
Posted on Sunday January 09, 2005 at 10:24 by Amethyst-Heart
AIMod Download Enabled - Click to Download
Challenges Season: Sailor Moon
Main Characters: Mamoru/Darien, Usagi/Serena

Genre: Angst, Romance

Rated: PG13
Status: Completed

Rain. It can tear a person to shreds, make him completely doubt his sanity. But sometimes you just have to sit back and feel the drops fall against you. Guide them into a cleansing embrace.


Finally, my response to the songless songfic challenge.


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Number of Chapters: 2          Total Size: 29k          Word Count: 5,485

| Read |
Skysong - Wednesday April 04, 2007 at 08:49
well... i thought emotionally it was really good, and that's mostly what i was looking for. It smoothly brought the emotions to higher and higher intensities without beoing overpowering or coming on too strong.

but... i really wanted to see how the emotions compared to the lyrics, and if i could really tie specifics in the lyrics that you couldn't repeat exactly but still came very clear across in the story. Since the lyrics weren't copied in the author's notes i couldn't really see that comparison, and i think that was a huge basis of the challenge.

so, i'd appreciate it if you could add the song lyrics. I think it would add a lot to the reading experience. Some of us are too lazy to look them up ourselves, especially if we don't know the lyrics very well.

but i still think it was a really good job, and something to be proud of.
AuroraNight - Wednesday April 12, 2006 at 03:02
One of my favorite songs of all time is "She Will Be Loved"! I can't believe that I didn't figure it out since the story fits perfectly with the lyrics. The story is beautiful, a absolute work of art. I could actually picture everything in my head as I read the story, almost like a movie in my head, and when that happens I know for sure that I'm reading a wonderful story.
Destiny_4always - Friday November 25, 2005 at 21:37
oh my gosh, i cried for like soooooo long after i read this, its soooooooo good, it should be kept in a "gilded bookcase" this is a one of a kind masterpiece, you really deserve a huge hug! Congrats on such a phenomenal job.
SaillorHope - Wednesday May 11, 2005 at 14:18
The story is beautifull and unique. I love it
Anonymous - Friday March 04, 2005 at 04:23
i like tat song as well. i think you wrote a pretty good story, i can't find anything to complain about it. keep up the good work.
Ariel - Monday February 21, 2005 at 21:39
This storie was so beautifull!!! So sad for Mamoru!!!
Anonymous - Saturday February 12, 2005 at 21:48
sad. its so . . . you bring out the gloomy atmosphere trully which is good thats why I say I like it!!!
lexie - Friday February 04, 2005 at 15:34
It was sad, but it was a good story.
RENA630 - Saturday January 29, 2005 at 23:34
OMG I knew it was Maroon 5! I knew it I knew it I knew it! I'm so proud of myself! Anywayz, wow Moonie (I luv that name) you've really out done yourself! The details were amazing, though I must admit a bit listy at times it was still very good. It sounds corny but the ending gave me goose bumps! Well for your fist time writing in first person you didn't do too bad...I'm impressed. Excellent vocabulary...very colorful. I must say you did a damn good job. Keep up the good work!

~*RENA*~

Oh by the way I am currently using my ability to procrastinate but dont worry I will DEFINATLY read your other story!
Karrina - Monday January 24, 2005 at 02:51
OMG, i cried at the end! This story included romance which is my fave SM fics!! But i truley fell in love with this story thanx 4 writing it!!

XOXO
Kari
Sailor_Angel - Saturday January 22, 2005 at 11:04
Wow, that was one of the most poignantly powerful stories I've ever read and this piece brought out your true writing potential like I've never seen ^^; Well, that is what a Challenge is meant to do. You feel Usagi's pain come through so powerfully and although Usa and Mamoru are in a different situation as they usually are in, you keep them in character and have them respond as they usually would've. Your descriptions were lovely and didn't dedicate a whole paragraph telling us what the surroundings were like yet gave us a good idea what the scenery was like by winding it here and there. Your grammer was off slightly in one or two circumstances and I'll read it over again to find them and tell you in a PM :P Just out of time right now and I'm sorry it's a day late but I was out all day with my parents and people don't need to know my life story ^^; But here's your promised review *smile*
Fushigi_Hime - Saturday January 15, 2005 at 22:11
Great job on your story and how you used the song without the words. This story was so sad, I could really feel the pain that each character was going through. I did see one or two small grammar errors, but nothing that took away from the story. I love the song you chose, it happens to be one of my favorites from that group. Once I saw that it was that song I went back and re-read and it all came to me, and it fit very well. Again great job, I really enjoyed the read, no matter how sad it was!

Ja,
Fushigi Hime
lingy - Tuesday January 11, 2005 at 20:39
Oh, wow! Before I give you my critique, I just want to say,.. I am the BIGGEST sucker for angsty romantic vignettes, especially ones as linguistically diverse (and by that I am refering to vocab) as this. And furthermore, this story is going on my favorites list for those reasons ^__^

Ooolaaay! I loved this story, REALLY. Your descriptions were beautifully phrased and followed up nicely. There was almost no repetition (the dreaded writer’s curse ^^;) and I didn’t see any spelling/grammar/typo mistakes. Your characterization was gentle in a way that provoked genuine tears from me (honestly ^^;;) but at the same time it was striking and vividly melancholy (I’m such a tear monger).
To summarize, it was utterly wonderful, and I FULLY expect you to continue writing. After all, it would be a terrible crime to let such a talent languish.
Ooops *smacks self* Dammit! I’m not supposed to be doing so much ego-inflating >_>;;
So I guess I’ll give a teensy-weensy bit of constructive criticism.
Although it was excellent, no doubt, some sentences (though correct) were a little skewed. Ummm… I can’t remember exactly but there were a few descriptions that seemed a little shoved into the level flow you had going.

Oh my goshers, this is the longest review I’ve ever written… Go me!
Anyhoo, keep writing stuff like this and you’re on your way to great things.
~LingyO_~
mythling - Monday January 10, 2005 at 18:07
Wow- I really liked that =) I don't usually read (or like) stories written in first person, but I must say I'm glad I read this one. Very well written story!
MoonStar15 - Monday January 10, 2005 at 02:44
I like it. But sadness mades me cry. But I like it.
jennie - Monday January 10, 2005 at 02:41
Oh my God, that was so....beautiful. I cried. I actually cried. That was just....I'm almost speechless. That really moved me. Your writting is beautiful and so moving.
Loki - Sunday January 09, 2005 at 15:34
Your story is sweet & sad, a tale that breaks the heart so gently ... makes one think of the tides that pull against the fragile vale of life, and if we lose somebody we love - we never lose their love or the essence of who they were as it burns in our hearts as it does the corners of our eyes whenever we think of them -- thank you for touching my heart with this beautifully written story. I salute you, what else can I say, I loved this story. *hands you a sapphire rose & bows* L.
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