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Not Logged InWednesday September 11, 2024 - 00:45
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Competition: Turnabout's fair play: A Christmas revenge story
Posted on Sunday December 07, 2003 at 17:37 by syrinx		AIMod Download Enabled - Click to Download
Xmas Competition Winner:Xmas Story Competition - December 2003 Winner:Most Popular Story - December 2003 
Winner: Most Popular Story - December 2003

Rated: PG13
Status: Completed

Christmas story competition entry.
All prologues for all entrants will be the same as per rules of the competition. All additional chapters will be the author's own work.

***

Serena has escaped the ignominy of elf-costumes and Santa's Village for the relative respectability of the information desk during her Christmas break. But she hasn't escaped the demands of Christmas shoppers, nor does she understand exactly who is behind all the tricks and pranks that have begun to plague her. To a cynical Serena, all this just goes to prove what she already knew--that Christmas spirit is dead. How can any of this possibly change when she meets up with a young man who is just as cynical as she is?

- Andrew shook his head. "They've obviously gone insane. I told you what happened yesterday. First one destroys the Village, now they've all launched a war on the rest of the mall. We should ask around. I bet were not the only ones they've been attacking." He crossed his arms sagely. "All that spandex cutting off circulation...and spending all day pretending to be cheerful while little kids abuse you.... It's amazing something like this hasn't happened before." -

***

(PG13 for occasional vocabulary lapses...under stress.)



Number of Chapters: 5          Total Size: 87k          Word Count: 15,788

| Read |
Adamina - Wednesday April 14, 2004 at 01:54
Not your typical Christmas story at all! And that's what I loved about it. So mischievous and vengeful! Delightful! You left the reader dreaming of how their relationship would develop instead of automatically having them fall in love as they would in common fics. Thus, I will dream about how their relationship will develop and picture the perfect Happily Ever After!

Beautiful!
Emythenia - Tuesday January 13, 2004 at 05:07
Maybe I'm sadistic, but I was really surprised that nothing happened to the elves.... Your writing is really good; it flowed really well and you incorporated lots of imagery. I wish there is an epilogue tho, at least something to slightly hint at who the mysterious O.W. really is...
Sailor_Angel - Friday January 09, 2004 at 16:36
*is slightly disappointed* *face falls* I was hoping for a big smash of a revenge plan... *brightens* but it was still a cute ending! Not that much mush but *shrugs* not bad at all. I like the pic in my head of Serena in that outfit ^^ sounds cute.

~*S.Angel*~
aman_akira - Wednesday January 07, 2004 at 01:41
I really, really enjoyed it. I'm with DBZ...how about a sequel? ^^
RENA630 - Saturday January 03, 2004 at 05:40
Awww Syrinx this was soooo Kawii!!! I loved every bit of it! Although do you mind if I make a suggestion? *Gets bopped over the head with a snowball* Ummmm well since I'm the mushy type of person I would have liked for you to have added what was on the characters minds you know for example how Darien and Serena felt when they were trapped together and how they started growing a likeing for eachother and maybe a bit more character description. I know I'm sorry to be a Scrooge but I'm unfortunately very honest. Other than that this story was GREAT and I hope to see more of your work at Aria's Ink!

~*RENA*~
DBZ - Thursday January 01, 2004 at 21:11
Sorry it took me this long, but I finally finished it like I told you I would ^__^

I LUV the ending! It was so sweet. Maybe you could... make a sequel? *innocent*
Red_Elephant - Tuesday December 23, 2003 at 10:52
Cute and sweet. Congratulations on winning the comp.
Serafina - Monday December 22, 2003 at 01:49
At the risk of sounding terribly corny I'm going to go ahead and say that this story gave me this warm, fuzzy feeling in my tummy. ^^'

It was so sweet. No big roamnce, no huge kiss. Still, thouroughly satisfying.

I'm glad someone can see behind the materialism in the season... for now, my cynicism sticks. I really loved this story. Kudos! ^^'
MoonAnge1 - Friday December 19, 2003 at 21:18
Loved it. Please continue writing. You have extraordinary expertise ^.^!!!


~Moonie
SlrEuropa - Wednesday December 17, 2003 at 07:08
Aaaaw! Totally cute! I loved it! Totally worthy of the prize! The dialogue was incredibly rich and engaging. And very realistic. ^^ Written perfectly!
Ariel - Monday December 15, 2003 at 03:01
this storie was amazing. I jsut loved the originality of the elf war and everything in betwin. Fantastic!!!
moonflower - Thursday December 11, 2003 at 02:43
I can see why this fic won! It was simply amazing, and embodied the true meaning of Christmas. Nothing like a great Christmas fic to get you into the spirit of Christmas. =) The ending was just as sweet. It was beautifully written. Congratulations for winning the competition!
Poshers - Wednesday December 10, 2003 at 13:41
Amazing story. I love stories that make you laugh, and this one certainly made me laugh. Congrats on the win. ^_^
Acid - Tuesday December 09, 2003 at 05:43
*melts and gushes* that was fantastic.
I really don't like christmas much anymore, and what Serena said felt very true for most of the story, but i'm glad to see it all worked out.
Of course, i'm very very curious about the O.W thing!!
Well done and congratulations on winning!! Great story, keep it up.
- acid.
Fushigi_Hime - Tuesday December 09, 2003 at 03:28
I must say this is a very well written story. I can see why you won!! It was very vivid, I could actually picture myself in that mall, and witnessing the evil glaces those elves had. It brought me some Christmas spirit. :) Granted reading this also brought back many of the memories I had working at the mall during the holiday. So congrats to you, and I hope you keep up the great work in the future!

Ja,
Fushigi Hime
Redroses - Monday December 08, 2003 at 23:10
I like your christmas story. Congrats on the win. You did great.
Redroses
StarletteX - Monday December 08, 2003 at 22:48
i laaaa this story! magical but somehow..i believed. hahaha.
vie - Monday December 08, 2003 at 07:49
ohh that was very cute! darien seems like such a nice guy :D shy guys are cute!
Teffers - Monday December 08, 2003 at 05:32
You know those stories that just make you go "yeeeey!"...
This is one of 'em. I loved it. It was so realistic!... not in the sense with the craziness of the situations and all that, but how the relationship developed. I loved that it left me wondering and wanting more.
I can see why you won the contest.
Soooo goooood!
Now I have to go and check if you have written anymore stories...
Keep up the good work.
Teffers
Qwertyuiop - Monday December 08, 2003 at 02:03
Beautiful Story. I laughed, and I thought it was extremely well written.

Very clever! And Congratulations!
Lillian - Monday December 08, 2003 at 01:49
'"Laxatives in Christmas cookies," he said.'

A lovely story, and I especially love that line. ^_~ Great job and congrats on winning the comp. I wish there was more though... :(
Aria - Sunday December 07, 2003 at 22:35
A very magical story. It unfolded easily and flowed very well. Funny and sweet, it makes great use of the information provided in the prologue.

The only suggestion I would make, is to consider a shorter title :)

Great job by this year's winner!

Congratulations!
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