Runner Up: Most Recommended Story - November 2004
Season: Alternate Universe
Genre: Action, Adventure, Drama, Fantasy
A re-write of the Sailormoon manga. Plots explained, evil devices used, and general skullduggery abounds, all in a lengthy and descriptive manner bound to drive you crackers - because we aim to please.
Note: Volume 11 is in progress as "A Different Story," which takes place after "Shunshin," which takes place after Act 33.
Number of Chapters: 35 Total Size: 2,990k Word Count: 517,858
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Wow, what an epic! I haven't read the manga so I do not know how closely this resembles it but perhaps that doesn't matter. It took me several weeks to read this in its entirety (and you're not even finished yet!) and I really enjoyed it.
There were several points I think you needed to explore more, the most important one being Usagi's pregnancy. Her reaction to it seemed at odds with her personality and you left me wondering how Mamoru would have reacted to this news, not to mention how he felt about Diamond's mauling of his love. For them to have never discussed this seems entirely unrealistic and left me wondering why it was included.
That said, this was perhaps only one chapter set among brilliance. I love your style and truly hope to see more chapters in the future.
|Loki - Tuesday June 09, 2009 at 14:46|
The ability to capture the feeling of nightmare, the clashing of worlds, you succeeded in dong this in this chapter. Perfect ending, fabulous characterization, imagery and dialogue and word usage.
Any flaws were small and incidental, and the over-all impact was amazing. I love how you ended the chapter.
BTW, you might find this article invaluable, good to see you back!
|Loki - Thursday June 14, 2007 at 15:32|
Brilliant interpretation of the Manga
WISE: I could only find a couple of things that require attention, the punctuation, I.E. X!?X question marks and exclamation marks or other multiples are never paired. a stronger sensation of pain XthenX (here the word then is past tense, as 'back then' it is temporal, the word you're looking for here is, 'than' comparitive) before that had him *nearly*(suggest 'almost' tense-wise would work better) on his knees, Some sentence fragmentation and the word, 'bit' where little would have been better, but that was it. The rest of the chapter was superb.
Characterisation was excellent, world building, imagery and the scope of the narrative was ambitious and though it wasn't canon in places, it was nonetheless compelling for the spin you put on it.
Some of the subtle OOC didn't work for me, but most of it had worked fine. The Dead Moon ship was a great touch, the stalls and the dream sequences were really well done.
You have a brilliant vocabulary and your use of the Japanese was great.
Affect was well expressed, and the mood and atmosphere you set was also note worthy.
Dialogue most entertaining and powerful and the shifts of contrast between the characters was outstanding. Your portrayal of Diana, the thoughts of Chibi-Usa about Luna Pand the scene where Chibi-Usa spins with Diana in her arms and they get dizzy -- the last towards the end where Usagi and Chibi-Usa grow instantly older and younger was most clever.
I like the fact this is a lot darker and deeper than the original, and you did it justice. A good read and well done. *hands you a crystal sphere and a crystal sakura bloom and bows*
|MoonKent - Monday December 06, 2004 at 04:08|