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Not Logged InTuesday March 18, 2025 - 11:16
Article
Story: The mystery of red silk
Posted on Wednesday December 08, 2004 at 13:14 by madamhawke
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Winner: Most Recommended Story - April 2005

Rated: R
Status: Completed

In the lavish world of the Medici family Serenity has been trained to be one of the infamous Venetian courtesans. In this land of sin the men assume that she is merely a pawn in their game. Little do they know that it is Serenity who is playing all of them...


Number of Chapters: 8          Total Size: 333k          Word Count: 59,851

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Nich - Monday November 10, 2008 at 03:04
Very wonderful as always! I truely enjoyed this story and hope for more from you! The twists and turns in this story equal anything I have read from published and well known authors. I must say the description of Endymion standing on the balcony was...amazing......wow.....anyway, great job, you are an excellent writer! Please keep it up!
young_geezer - Friday May 04, 2007 at 04:36
Very nice! I loved it. I thought this story had great character development and a great plot that never stopped moving along. great work!
Rakusa - Friday January 05, 2007 at 13:28
This story is amazing and I can't help wondering if a few changes in facts and Serenity's character, if done well, the scenes would still have that poinancy because you sculpted them so well. This last chapter especially. I had no idea in where to start to compliment your tremendous talent, but rest assured, I'm on my way to reading another one of yours, the Tourniquet, I believe its called. I can litterly see the events unfolding, I half wish Diamond had gotten a little further in his attempt, not all the way, but more to Serenity's urgency in retaliating instead of when they are calmly looking at each other.
I love Andrew, and all of the less used characters in this fic, especially Sapphire, I'm a little surprised you switched the characters, Andrew being who he is by whom and Sapphire who he is. (I'm trying to be vague enough as to not elude too much the people who read the reviews before they read the story so they don't know what I'm talking about and hence, the mysteries will unravel themselves when they read it the way you meant it... a few things had to happen, it was obvious...)
The ending however, with Nephrite, you made it seem as if Serenity and him have never met when he was the first one.
Now that I think of it, it seems as if you combined two characters for the represntation of Diamond(&artimes). I as well never heard of the results in Serenity and Malachite.
Thank you for posting such an amazing story, I have great apprication for a completed fic that was from the heart.
Dafne - Friday May 19, 2006 at 19:39
I loved this story. It had been a long time since I last read a fanfic that kept me awake the whole night because I just couldn't wait to read the next chapter.

I really liked the way you managed to make the plot twist in unexpected ways. I also think that you were able to make the characters real humans.

Although I did like the ending (I just love happy endings), I also think that perhaps you rushed way too much the way in which Endymion gets out of jail. But all in all, very good work. I cannot wait for you to finish your other stories and/or write a new one.
lacyloss - Saturday December 31, 2005 at 09:51
Awww!!! That story was great! i loved it i am so glad that you completed it and i only hope that you bring in another chapter of champagne and caviar!!!!!!! KEep up the good work!!!!
Unek530 - Thursday October 20, 2005 at 14:29
This was absolutely wonderful. You have an amazing talent for writing, plots, twists, detailing in characters and settings. I have to say, this is one of my favorite stories. So beautifully done. I hope to read more of your stories soon! Take care~
Anonymous - Wednesday August 10, 2005 at 14:18
BRAVO! ^_^ more soon to be heard from you
sue_yam - Thursday August 04, 2005 at 01:03
SImply amazing.....definitely an uplifting ending compared to Tourniquet. I enjoyed both immensely. You are truly, truly gifted.
jennie - Sunday July 24, 2005 at 21:58
Awww...sniff sniff. That was a great story. I have to say though, that I'm very sad to see it end. I loved the way that you put flaws in your characters, not just the perfect people that you always see in fan fiction. The flaws made them more human, more realistic. I liked watching them overcome their pride and let themselves fall in love. You really did a great job, and I can't wait to see what you come out with next! Cheers!
Rhapsodymoon - Friday July 22, 2005 at 00:40
All I can say is... I loved it.
JadeFantasy - Wednesday July 20, 2005 at 02:36
I have a tendency to talk, yell, gasp, etc. when a story is really really good. And let me just say that I was doing all of those things while reading your story. I enjoyed it immensely. I can't wait for another of yours!
Critika - Tuesday July 19, 2005 at 17:58
All I can say is WOW as I take in a big breath of air. I loved the conclusion and as usual, it was totally unexpected the way things worked out. You've actually made me want to know more of the history of the Medici! You're a wonderful writer and I'm totally floored by this story. I hope that even if you have to leave fanfic world, you make the time to write - we readers need it.
MMHYUM - Tuesday July 19, 2005 at 15:45
I have really enjoyed reading this fic; the ending was lovely and unique. I like how everyone found some closure, even poor Andrew! :]

I'm also excited for your new story to come out!
MMHYUM - Monday May 16, 2005 at 21:23
Very impressive chapter! I'm eager to see what happens next, I'd like to see confrontation between Endymion and Serenity. The tension is great! A lot of my questions were answered in this chapter, and I'm oh-so anxious to read more.

And the plot thickens.. Dun-dun-dunnn!!
Beautiful_Dreamer - Monday May 16, 2005 at 18:12
I hope you come with the next chapter soon, considering the fact that I'm waiting on my tiptoes over a ledge O.O;;; It's parfait, the story, and I can't wait for what you've got in store!!
RoseWinter - Saturday May 14, 2005 at 22:41
This story is AMAZING! I love the way it's played out. It reminds me of a movie called "Dangerous Beauty" it seems to follow along the same lines as that. I can't wait for Chapter 8 please write it soon.
Rose Winter
bluehawaii06 - Saturday May 14, 2005 at 02:35
Oh I hope that you finish this story soon! It's so awesome! (I just love how Serenity goes from like, pure girl to whore, and strong willed at that!)
--Bunny--
Skysong - Friday May 06, 2005 at 06:54
wow...i see what i've been missing out on.

it sounds like you are already aware of it... but if you ever go back and polish up your previous chapters... the word, what was it? hotel? motel? something like that. it really threw the reader out of the time period. Maybe use something like "Inn".

There are some spelling and/or grammer issues, and a couple of words used incorectly, like it's the wrong word used, though it sounds similar.

Something in the ...prologue? or was it the first chapter?... when seiya is with serena in the beginning, you say that they have a room in a motel or something, but seiya says (paraphrasing) "i could go tell your father in the next room that you're not a virgin" This really threw me off. They were at their home? or maybe the father was also at the hotel...in a nearby room???? *puzzled*

ok...other than that...

GREAT PLOT, ESPECIALLY THE CHARACTERS.
the characters are the driving force of this story, mostly dealing with their pasts and how they react to the situations in the present. Every character is like, more than they seem. The revealment of what Andrew and Luna were like was really well done, but i have to give you HUGE PROPS for springing some interesting twists to the past and characterists of Endymion.

Please keep up the great work. the story has definetly got me hooked, i'm so glad i finally discovered this story.
jennie - Friday April 22, 2005 at 23:25
Oh my goodness girl! Ahhhhhh! Whats going on? I love it, I love it. all the twists and suprises that you threw in there have really kept me interested and coming back again and again. I cant wait for the rest. I must know what happens arugh. but keep em coming i love it love it love it!!!!!!!!1
freaky - Thursday April 21, 2005 at 02:23
yet another extordinary piece! ^^ loved it keep it up im loving it a lot dont leave me hanging too long now
serenity4eva - Thursday April 21, 2005 at 01:54
It must have taken a lot of strength for Serenity to keep herself from slapping Endymion. You is like a total professional. Very interesting thing about the affair between Diamon and Luna. I wonder how this will turn out with the information that Serenity has told Diamond. And I wonder what is going to be done about the ownership that Andrew signed....guess I'll have to wait! Hurry up and update!
stacey - Tuesday April 19, 2005 at 17:01
Fantastic, please update soon.!!!
lexie - Tuesday April 19, 2005 at 12:14
Damn, I was hoping that she wouldn't tell Diamond anything. I'm so upset with both Endymion and Serenity, why must their pride get in the way. Pride is a good thing, but sometimes it can do more harm than good.

Is it true, on how Endymion's father was killed. If so I hope Luna and Diamond both get their just rewards.

I just hope that Serenity and Endymion both swallow their pride and apoligize before they really hurt each other. I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter.

I can't even imgane what is going to happen when they find out that Endymion was behind the ruinification of his business partners. In fact why couldn't he just tell them he wanted out.

What is going to happen to the whore house that Andrew bought? You know I feel really sad for Andrew, because he really is just an innocent bystander in all this.

Update soon I can't wait.
Jupiter - Tuesday April 19, 2005 at 06:05
Woah! Your chapters just get better and better. You're able to fit sooooo much into just one chapter and I love it! I could never write like that. This last chapter has been one big twist and layed a whole lot of new information setting the story up for a big climactic ending. Good work! I have to admit, this has been the only story I can count on to just be amazing! and I will patiently wait for the next/last one!!! Love, love , love the work!!! I also love how you've created this challenge between endy and serenity preventing them from continuing the love that's started and how she doesn't feel all that great helping Diamond to bring him down!!! What can I say, this is good stuff! Oh, and honestly Andrew is hilarious in a sense that he's horribly yet adorably naive. :)
pinkpanther - Tuesday April 19, 2005 at 01:55
Maroon Heart again my dear. Lovely story, brilliant dialouge. But I do sense a tragic ending, as much as I pray it will not be, as the story goes I suppose we will see. Yet the ending of your last story was equally brilliant and did not leave one in want. Serenity...seems like she will regret her decision, and the information at hand..may incriminate Endymion, but for his character, it seems as though he will find away back on his feet. Love the story, write more soon!


Maroon Heart
Loki - Tuesday April 19, 2005 at 01:17
Charged with an electricity that offers us a vivid emotional landscape of the characters, and the tides of fortune, twists and turns were brilliantly structured, wel done once again, just keep polishing what is already by reputation earned, a classic gem. *hands you a garland of red roses & bows* "A Moon Cat is forever WISE, love your story!" =^_^=
Unek530 - Monday April 18, 2005 at 23:10
another excellent chapter. you have a beautiful way with words.. your descriptions are wonderful and your play with words is amazing.. you're a wonderful writer and i hope to see another chaper soon! take care~!
Bakayaro - Monday April 18, 2005 at 22:18
Gasp! Why do you have to just leave us like that? Grrness.. Keep up the good work! Question: Will this be a happily ever after story? I didn't like the ending for Tourniquet, after all the pain they went through shouldn't they deserve finally being together? Anyways KEEP WRITING!

=A fan
Anonymous - Monday April 18, 2005 at 16:07
Intriguing. But not very subtle.
astro - Monday April 18, 2005 at 15:21
its just beautyful!

finish it soon, i dont know how much i can stand not knowing the end...

good job!
Unek530 - Monday April 18, 2005 at 02:07
excellent story. love the plot, story line, characters personalities.. you did a terrific job. i can't wait for you to update! hope to see a new chapter up soon. take care~!
Dagger - Saturday April 16, 2005 at 02:46
wow I love the descriptions.. oh how I want to know if darien is the benifactor!!!
Dagger
Jupiter - Friday April 15, 2005 at 15:49
I have reviewed just about every chapter so far and to sum them all up would be to say that your story is one of the best!!! I really wish you would finish soon, it's just that exciting! I think everyone has fallen in love with your story and it's very original and enticing. I have nothing to complain about it except I really wish you would update soon! I love your story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Jup
Ariel - Thursday April 07, 2005 at 20:25
No!!!!!!!!! Why did you stop there!!! I just spend the hole afternoon reading your storie and I just have thimg to say; This is amazing!!! I love how every turn of events happen when you least expect it. Please write more soon! I can't wait to see what will happen with Serenity next!!!

p.s. Poor Andrew! He so naive!
lor06 - Tuesday April 05, 2005 at 18:40
Oh my gosh, it's so good!!! Yay for you! I actually get chills reading this story! Wow! I can't stop saying how good this is!!! It's truly original and very well-written! Yay, yay, yay!!! I haven't read a much better story in years! Kudos to you!
jill8068 - Tuesday March 29, 2005 at 00:50
I love it! It has to be one of the best written fics I have come across! Keep writing, it's a great story!
freaky - Wednesday March 23, 2005 at 00:47
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh i hate cliff hangers u have to finish the story!!!!!
serenity4eva - Tuesday March 22, 2005 at 00:02
I love this story! Keep going! I want to see where this goes. Excellent job with the writing and the use of words. Update soon!
MMHYUM - Wednesday March 16, 2005 at 18:26
I have a confession: I LOVE this story so much I had to read it again!! This is def one of my favorite fics! I love the life you give to these characters!
Anonymous - Tuesday March 15, 2005 at 12:35
oh my god... you can't finish the story like that... you have to continue and soon ... I mean really soon... like yesterday if that's possible......
pretty please....
Loki - Tuesday March 15, 2005 at 05:53
A thousand thoughts and as many feelings wandered through my mind as I read this superb classic, and I don't use the term classic lightly, MH. It has been said before that a good writer can command generous reviews simply because the subject matter hooks without effort or true merit, but this can't ever be said of you. You've earned every review you've recieved, I simply add mine as another tribute to your skills as a storyteller and mistress of narrative genius. Even when I offer a critical eye, from the WISE point of view- the few minor spelling, typo and its other minute impediments somehow don't detract from the piece, though I urge you to attend to these in time. Nonetheless your story shines like a beautiful and rare stone flecked with these almost imperceptible scatterings. I have found on the whole your writing exhillerating and refreshing, stylistically in-depth and intricately constructed. As others have said, and I hasten to agree, your characterisation is truly animated and authentic, especially Serenity and Endymion. Moreover, each character lives and breathes and the tides of raw emotion and the many other aspects of human nature you portray are in constant flux and are well thought out and put together. The plot shifts are imaginative and believable, perhaps more importantly, your narrative conveys something of the struggles of the human heart. As for the narrative's sense of adventure and intrigue, its laced with the right degree of suspense and mood change- you've scored brilliantly there too. You've successfully managed to keep the reader guessing and fascinated by every twist and turn. I admire your vocabulary, atmospherics and world building skills you've employed. The dialogue and attention to detail is an excellent example to new and young writers embarking upon writing their own fan-fiction. In closing, I thank you for the reading pleasure and simply encourage you to keep going over and polishing what is already a fabulous story. I feel without doubt, your best is yet to come! Congratulations, they're well deserved. *hands MH a bunch of diamond encrusted golden roses & bows* L. "A Moon Cat is forever WISE, love your story!" *winks* =^_^=
Anonymous - Tuesday March 15, 2005 at 02:33
sigh* you just made me fall in love with your story all over again!
Well...i read the next chapter and i have to say....
I LOVED IT!!!! The plot is slowly being revealed and i love it! the details, the writing, it's all great!
My suspicions have been right so far but i still have some left unanswered. i won't say any of them now b/c sometimes when other people read the reviews first before the new chapter (or is that just me?) the beautiful suspense that you spent your time to build was not as good as it would have been.
i can't wait to read your next chapter and thank you so much for mentioning me in the beginning of the story. if you haven't already figured it out (which i'm sure you have) i was the anonymous with the suspicions. i think i may start using my nickname soon b/c i didn't want to offend anybody with my reviews since i'm kinda new to reviewing!
Anyways... I love your story and all of your works and i can't wait to read your next chapter! Thanks you again for sharing your talents with us!
nifer - Monday March 14, 2005 at 22:46
ooohhhhh, plot twist! I had a feeling that Diamond wasn't her benefactor, but I didn't expect this! Kepp up the great work.
v1786 - Monday March 14, 2005 at 21:37
oh wow! the story is really getting good! I can't wait for the next chapter.

I love your writing skill, you oviously understand the language and the use of words and you've reserched the time period well.

it is a very good story
Jamestown - Monday March 14, 2005 at 17:57
Now look what you did! You make me sick you had to totally go and make this story of COMPLETELY & UTTERLY SPECTACULAR! I only wish I had a clever and devious a mind as yours to come up with such a story. Congratulations on Chapter 6, which by the way is well worth the wait. I look forward to the continuation of the tale between our favorite SM couple. I am curious to know if you will be at all using the girls or were they just for the beginning of the story?
MMHYUM - Monday March 14, 2005 at 16:49
And you did it once again! AH! I loved this chapter, the ending of the chapter was GREAT! It was a major shock to me- And now I'm anxious to find out why, and what will Serenity do now that she knows. :]
Nala - Monday March 14, 2005 at 16:01
I'm usually not a violent person BUT *as she's sharpening the knife* could ya pls update more often? love ya stories!!!
AhLuK - Monday March 14, 2005 at 15:13
LOVE IT! LOVE IT! WHAT AN INTERESTING TWISTED PLOT. HURRY UP WITH THE NEXT CHAPTERS ASAP. I'M IN SUSPENSION.
Critika - Monday March 14, 2005 at 14:52
Chapter 6 was great! I don't know how you manage to put twists in a story when I think I've figured it all out. This story has been one of the most original stories I've read. I know you said it would be a while, but I'm going to be on the lookout for the next chapter every day!
freaky - Thursday March 10, 2005 at 01:43
omg that was so amazing i was omg i dont know what you have to keep writing write more write more!
Anonymous - Saturday March 05, 2005 at 17:39
HOLY CRAP!!!! Your story is AMAZING!!!!! I TRULY LOVE IT!!!! It is written beautifully and the twists and plots are suspenseful and captivating. This is truly a work of art. i do, however, have some suspiscions of who the benefactor is but i won't reveal my thoughts now just in case they are right. that would just ruin the suspense for some. i can't wait til you have the chance to update. you are truly one of my favorite authors. thank you for honoring me with this beautiful tale and please do update soon
nifer - Thursday March 03, 2005 at 04:12
Oh my goodness, this story is wonderful! Your writing really brings out the characters emotions, keep up the good work! Update soon!
MMHYUM - Wednesday March 02, 2005 at 19:27
Wow-wow-wow-wow!

You have definately shown Serenity in a very different way! You've made her just as tortured and Endy-- I love it! Can't wait to read more, please update soon!
Jupiter - Thursday February 24, 2005 at 08:32
Wow! That's all I can say, WOW! What you did with Seiya's character was very unique and I like how he was portrayed as a disgusting man! Haha! Anywayz, the Luna and Andrew, mother/son ordeal, is a great twist to the story and it shows that Endy is not the only one to worry about. I love it! Also, you've finally given us a good romantic scene between the two lovebirds and it was great b/c it showed their love is legit--even though it was interrupted by Sere's revelation. Haha!!! Once again, I do love this story!
bedasse_s - Saturday February 19, 2005 at 18:22
Your story continues to intrigue. I can't wait to see where you will take the plot next.
Anonymous - Thursday February 17, 2005 at 23:20
All I have to say is I love this story. Love It!!!! It's so thrilling and full of suspense. I've red it like 10 times and I am never tire of it. This story has such great potentional and so do you as a writer. I felt so sorry for serenity having to face that slimball seiya again let alone sleep with the creep. Also it makes me happy to see that Endymidion finaly told serenity how he felt about her. i am also begaining to wounder if she knows anything about the murder of endy's father. Anyway keep up the great job and please update soon!
jennie - Tuesday February 15, 2005 at 05:37
OH OH OH!! *Falls to knees and pulls at hair* Augh! Everytime you get me so into your story and you just, sigh, it has to end. Oh, I can't wait for you to finish this story the suspense is truly killing me. I have no idea where this story is going. Let me just tell you that I can usually figure out a plot in a heartbeat. So this is truly getting under my skin. Wow..so great. I love the way you weave the descriptions and the emotions. I feel like I am really right there. Experiancing everything along with the character. So good. It really is. Oh I am so excited! I can't wait for the next chapter! The suspense is killing me! Litteraly. *Falls to the floor holding throat* cough...cough....must....have...wheeze...next.....chapter. sigh. See what you did? You just killed me. There is only one way to revive me, next chapter!!!!! But really, Awesome job, A+, 100%, 110%, marvelous!! Cheers. Alright I think I'll stop now, getting a little carried away. Okay just one more, Yay great job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lacyloss - Tuesday February 15, 2005 at 00:31
WOW!!! Is all i can say right about now this story is great please i beg of u to update soon!! You have good writer's potential! I am in love with this story Oh and i cant wait to see what luna did!!! GREAT STORY keep up the good work
starryice18 - Thursday January 27, 2005 at 00:49
I love this story so far!!!! It is fantastically written and one of the most intruiging stories I've ever read. It pulls me into the story completely, so much so that I can 'see' every scene and character!!! Please finish it as soon as you possibly can!!!!!
Anonymous - Monday January 24, 2005 at 03:46
Ahhhh! What a nice surprise to see your update! Chapter 4 was great in that it wasn't predictable at all. I had expected Serenity to pick off the four investors one by one, but I'm glad to see Endymion isn't going to just sit back and let it happen. Hope to see another update soon!
CosmicAngel - Wednesday January 19, 2005 at 01:20
Wonderful! Keep up the excellent work! I'm enjoying the intrigue.
Sabra - Monday January 17, 2005 at 06:01
I am so sad that I've been too busy to keep up with this story until now. You've caught my attention and kept me pulled in. You're doing an amazing job on this story, and every time I read it, it captivates me. I can't wait to see more come out soon! Keep Writing, you're doing a beautiful job!
Jupiter - Monday January 17, 2005 at 06:00
Wow! That was a good chapter! When will the next one be done? I could elaborate furthor on how much I am enjoying the story so far, but I am utterly speechless, I love it that much!
Static - Monday January 17, 2005 at 02:45
I am finding myself further and further engrossed in this story as it develops. I'm sorry don't have anything as a critical review to add. A few words were misspelled here and there, but they did not really distract from the story. Keep up the good work, and take all the time you need to continue with the engaging story. Thank you.
JessiE - Monday January 17, 2005 at 00:14
Beautiful, dark, chapter! I love it! I love the way you protray Endy's personality and Sere's also. And o my gosh...Endy can really get mad...anyways I seriously can not wait till the next chapter is out. I seriously don't know what to expect...but I can't wait to read more of Sere and Endy's interaction and see Sere's next plan to get to Jed...and Seyia...wow...I can't wait...so please update really really soon! Keep up the good work!
jennie - Sunday January 16, 2005 at 23:33
Oh brilliant!! I loved it!! Loved it I tell you!!! *shakes fist at the sky*
With each chapter you suck me into the story a little more. And when there is no more to read for the time being *sniff sniff* well I get a little sad. But anywhoo, your story is amazing. Please keep going and don't forget to update!!! I demand it!! Puhleese *gives the most sad puppy dog face that has ever been witnessed in the history of...um....ever before!! ha*
ps. I'm very hyper, sorry!!
jennie - Wednesday January 12, 2005 at 02:28
noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
You can't stop there!! More!! I need more!!
This story is amazing. I love the way that the everyone is so out of character. It's so refreshing. I'm defenatly going to add this to my tracking list. You go girl!!
Anonymous - Monday January 10, 2005 at 19:41
I love your story. The details and wording you use really pull a reader in to your story. Your such a tallented writer. I can't wait to find out what happens next and keep up the great work!
Jupiter - Friday January 07, 2005 at 07:30
So, when is that next chapter coming out?! I check every night, because it is getting so good!!! Please, give us some more of your wonderful work, I love it!
Jupiter - Monday December 27, 2004 at 07:36
Wow! I love the details and descriptions, it gives the story it's own character and flow. I am definately intrigued now and I can't wait for more!
midnyghtskye - Monday December 13, 2004 at 21:00
My word...that was absolutely thrilling. And I must say, I love how you overcome the geographical issue. It was lovely. This story...it's just amazing. I love the interaction between the characters, although I had hoped for a little more between Sere and Neph, but I think you have something else that's going to happen, that'll put my mind at ease :). Keep up the amazing writing. I can't wait for the next chapter!
AhLuK - Monday December 13, 2004 at 18:08
Excellent story. I love it. Looking forward to reading more.
Jupiter - Monday December 13, 2004 at 08:05
Very Intriguing. I'll keep an eye on this story!
Anonymous - Monday December 13, 2004 at 05:47
You've got a nice start here! The story certainly sounds promising now that Serenity and Endymion have met. I hope you continue to update as fast as you did for chapter 2 - I'll be checking every day!
Velvet - Monday December 13, 2004 at 04:59
This story is so refreshing, original, and endlessly entertaining. I love your use of description and the way you depict the characters. The mood you create is very appropriate. I'm looking forward to reading more.
Ezza - Monday December 13, 2004 at 01:44
i love your story! it has so much promiss of what is to come! i can't wait to read more of your fasinating story
devilsangels11287 - Monday December 13, 2004 at 01:42
oooh.. i really loved this chapter!! send in the next chapter soon!! i cant wait till then!! it seems really interesting!!
MissAlyssa - Sunday December 12, 2004 at 19:33
spolier/ It's weird seeing Andrew as a pimp. /spoiler

Good job, excellent intro. Keep it up.
Tsuki_no_Neko - Saturday December 11, 2004 at 06:18
Hi!!!
This is Sailor-Nekawaii.
I'm so glad your new fanfic is out already!
Great start! I Hope it will be a Serenity/Endy fic.
I'll be watching you closely.... VERY closely....
SereEmberwave - Thursday December 09, 2004 at 21:50
Once agian your story has sucked me into the plot! Can't wait for you to update.
midnyghtskye - Thursday December 09, 2004 at 06:25
I love your story! I just wanted to point out that the Medici family were the head of Florence, not Venice...unless, of course, you're just using the name. Either way, I love it, and I can't wait for the next chapter! Keep up the excellent writing!
mikayuy - Thursday December 09, 2004 at 04:15
Very intriguing. This is a story that you should definitely continue.
Sabra - Wednesday December 08, 2004 at 23:32
You've already caught my attention and I'm deffinately looking forward to reading more of your work. You've done a beautiful job. ^_^ keep writing!
G-star - Wednesday December 08, 2004 at 20:15
All I can say is: PLEASE UPDATE!!!!!
Aria - Wednesday December 08, 2004 at 13:13
What a wonderful beginning!

I love the idea. The details are great and I'm definitely intrigued.

There were a few things that I think you should look at though.

The first is some of your sentences are quite long and daunting. I know you have a lot of details to add but space them out, pace yourself. What I do when I fear a sentence is getting too longwinded is I read it aloud. If i get breathless reading it or if it sounds unnatural then I cut it.

Also in the days of the Medicis I don't think that they had 'motels'. Hotels/inns definitely, but motels no.

Anyway, I'm loving story so far and am very interested in seeing where it goes.

Keep up the great work.

Aria
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Copyright 2004 - Aria's Ink Sailor Moon FanFiction Archive

Sailor Moon FanFiction Stories © to their respective authors.
No information must be taken from this site without expressed written permission.

Sailor Moon characters and images are copyright © 1992 Naoko Takeuchi/Kodansha, TOEI Animation.
English Language Adaptation © 1995 DiC Entertainment.