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Not Logged InMonday September 27, 2021 - 03:23
Article
Story: Pawn to Queen
Posted on Friday April 15, 2005 at 23:52 by Aria
AIMod Download Enabled
Members Original Genre: Adventure, Fantasy

Rated: PG13
Status: Unknown

Social outcast Callie Greene thinks that things cannot possibly get any worse for her. But the moment she steps through a portal into her homeland of Alystria, she knows that every problem she has ever experienced is nothing compared to being the next queen of a war torn kingdom.

*Original Work Teaser*


Number of Chapters: 3          Total Size: 60k          Word Count: 11,156

| Read |
LadyD - Thursday August 21, 2008 at 05:47
I remember when I first read this teaser. is it going to become a novel? if it is please let me know I would love to read the whole story.
heaven85 - Thursday April 20, 2006 at 06:37
Great work. Very original and likable characters. Great start and I love the plot.
Loki - Sunday April 09, 2006 at 16:33
Impressive, most impressive.

WISE, I noticed very few flaws, there were a few typos and little quirks here and there, but that aside, it was superb.

Highlights:

Well, it certainly warrants publication, copy proofing the only thing a publisher needs to do. Its sheer briliance. I would love to read the book.

Firstly, the lavish use of language, contrast of worlds, the shift from one state to the other, the transformative princess emerging from a past of loneliness and obscurity to an emergent rose in a kingdom of magical splender and unknown wonder was well executed. Your world building here was state of the art, and characterisation rich and carried me with the affect and flow of dialogue. Jaric is amazing as is the princess herself. It is a fantasy that speaks to the lover of fine storycraft, and Aria, it is amongst your finest. *hands you a rose-quartz scepter and bows* L. Thank you for the joy this story brought me ^_^
Serafina - Thursday December 01, 2005 at 17:17
I remember being obsessed by the original version of this story way back when in its teaser days. I decided to come back for another dose and what do I find? It's been re-written (beautifully so, at that) and is up for publishing!

I won't go on gushing because everyone else has done such a good job for me... Just thought I'd let you know that I'm going to be one of the many purchasing this book!
Sailor_Angel - Wednesday April 20, 2005 at 11:21
Jaric. Sexay. Think that's all we have to say about him...

Callie. Major cool. She's witty, sarcastic, realistic and yes, kewl.

They both have -frisson- :D I can't wait to see how things steam up between them.

You've thought up pretty names for everything *nod* Alystria. *big eyes* Ooooh.... Prettyyyyy... XD You always come up with creative, purdy names. Really quite jealous because I can't think of a good, pretty, original name for my life. -You- however, somehow always has that creativeness *jealous*

Yea.... Actual review now...

It's even better than it was, more detailed and we have a better understanding of them and Callie seems even more like a real person. We have a (stealing Usagi's word) stronger connection with the characters now and it provokes emotions and urges for them e.g. me wanting to make that b***hy Amanda wipe out straight onto her *coff* derriere. And to flick the 3 bimbos just to see how they'd react XD Or to ruin their mascara and eyeliner and give the raccoon eyes *snicker* But yea, it's all very compelling.

I can actually feel how Callie's feeling and her awkwardness and confusion at like what's going on etc. etc. I can also understand her want for people to just talk or say something.

You describe just enough of the scene so we have a clear image of what her surroundings are but you don't ramble and go into it and bore it with long, tedious explanations of every single little detail.

It's just overall very original, grin-tastic and brilliant. So superbly superb and fantastically fantastic it's unbelievably unbelievable. I'll be waiting with my high heels ready to run, waiting for the first chance to run out and order the actual book ;)
Teffers - Tuesday April 19, 2005 at 18:59
There's something about this story that drew me in. It looks awesome! I'm really excited to read the rest when it comes out.
The most interesting thing for me was the interaction between Callie and Jaric... I really really want to know what happens!
I'm also very intrigued by her court.
This looks to be veeerrry good, and I'm very excited. The best thing about books is that they won't have evil cliff-hangers like this one. I guess I'll just have to wait until it comes out.
Teffers
DBZ - Monday April 18, 2005 at 22:27
This is a really great start! I absolutely love the plot so far. It's so original and fresh. I cannot wait until this is published because I'll be first in line to buy it of course. ^_~

I wonder what's in store for Callie. She's a really cool character, and I love her sarcastic and witty personality because it makes me laugh. Even though she's sarcastic, she is still vulnerable in the new world which helps me relate to her. I love the name Jaric as well. Catchy and sexy. xD Callie and he would make a really, really cute couple. I cannot wait to see the romance as it unfolds in your book!

This version is so much more detailed than your last. I really enjoyed the style and flow of your writing. It's so smooth.

Also, Callie's court seems very interesting. I can't wait for her to meet them in person either. They all sound like such lively characters! And I don't like Rashin and her advisors. They rub me the wrong way, but maybe that's just me. I cannot wait to see how the plot unfolds! All your characters are really well-rounded and well thought out and your dialogue is effective.

Very interesting and catchy summary, by the way.
astro - Monday April 18, 2005 at 17:00
great!!! really, im just sorry that i wont be able to buy the book, yet that is, things will change when i go to college... *laughs evily*
Usagi - Sunday April 17, 2005 at 15:49
First of all, Thank you for writing this. :)

This story is just marvelous ^__^ So original and addictive.


Your writing just draws the reader into the characters and their situations. ^^ A connection between the reader and characters is what makes readers care about how the story ends and what happens and you do a great job of making us care ;P

I Really enjoy Callie's humor. Those little bits of fun get stored in my brain to think on and laugh about later. :P Princess Leia ! ^__~

I love your imagery :) It's delicious! ^__^ It helps to pull readers into this world you've created even more.

The only thing I noticed was in chapter one
"Truer words - we - never spoken. It wasn't the answer she was hoping for, but she let it slide."

And lastly Jaric - *drewl*
RENA630 - Sunday April 17, 2005 at 03:16
Very nice I must admit. It is so much better than it was before the tweeking and in my opinion is now definately ready for publishing. I can't wait until it comes out so I can read it! (Ha that's what i said about the first one and I still haven't read it...dont look at me like that! I will...eventually!)Anyway...the backround information you gave us on Callie really helped me to relate to her more and to know her as a character. Her feelings toward the "hole" and Jaric were alot clearer and more realistic which I really liked. The descriptions were intricate but in a subtle way. Honestly I couldn't have tweeked it better myself. Great Job!

~*RENA*~
Moon_Destiny - Saturday April 16, 2005 at 19:11
This has cetainly peaked my interest. I think it's such a fresh idea. I love the characters and it's just an exciting story to read. Superb job, Aria. Hope you get the book out soon!
RebaJean - Saturday April 16, 2005 at 01:46
All Right! Another novel! Yeah! So do you have a publisher for this one yet & when & where can we buy it?
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