Genre: Adventure, Fantasy
Story: Pawn to Queen|
Posted on Friday April 15, 2005 at 23:52 by Aria
Social outcast Callie Greene thinks that things cannot possibly get any worse for her. But the moment she steps through a portal into her homeland of Alystria, she knows that every problem she has ever experienced is nothing compared to being the next queen of a war torn kingdom.
*Original Work Teaser*
Number of Chapters: 3 Total Size: 60k Word Count: 11,156
| Read |
|LadyD - Thursday August 21, 2008 at 05:47|
I remember when I first read this teaser. is it going to become a novel? if it is please let me know I would love to read the whole story.
|heaven85 - Thursday April 20, 2006 at 06:37|
Great work. Very original and likable characters. Great start and I love the plot.
|Loki - Sunday April 09, 2006 at 16:33|
Impressive, most impressive.
WISE, I noticed very few flaws, there were a few typos and little quirks here and there, but that aside, it was superb.
Well, it certainly warrants publication, copy proofing the only thing a publisher needs to do. Its sheer briliance. I would love to read the book.
Firstly, the lavish use of language, contrast of worlds, the shift from one state to the other, the transformative princess emerging from a past of loneliness and obscurity to an emergent rose in a kingdom of magical splender and unknown wonder was well executed. Your world building here was state of the art, and characterisation rich and carried me with the affect and flow of dialogue. Jaric is amazing as is the princess herself. It is a fantasy that speaks to the lover of fine storycraft, and Aria, it is amongst your finest. *hands you a rose-quartz scepter and bows* L. Thank you for the joy this story brought me ^_^
|Serafina - Thursday December 01, 2005 at 17:17|
I remember being obsessed by the original version of this story way back when in its teaser days. I decided to come back for another dose and what do I find? It's been re-written (beautifully so, at that) and is up for publishing!
I won't go on gushing because everyone else has done such a good job for me... Just thought I'd let you know that I'm going to be one of the many purchasing this book!
Jaric. Sexay. Think that's all we have to say about him...
Callie. Major cool. She's witty, sarcastic, realistic and yes, kewl.
They both have -frisson- :D I can't wait to see how things steam up between them.
You've thought up pretty names for everything *nod* Alystria. *big eyes* Ooooh.... Prettyyyyy... XD You always come up with creative, purdy names. Really quite jealous because I can't think of a good, pretty, original name for my life. -You- however, somehow always has that creativeness *jealous*
Yea.... Actual review now...
It's even better than it was, more detailed and we have a better understanding of them and Callie seems even more like a real person. We have a (stealing Usagi's word) stronger connection with the characters now and it provokes emotions and urges for them e.g. me wanting to make that b***hy Amanda wipe out straight onto her *coff* derriere. And to flick the 3 bimbos just to see how they'd react XD Or to ruin their mascara and eyeliner and give the raccoon eyes *snicker* But yea, it's all very compelling.
I can actually feel how Callie's feeling and her awkwardness and confusion at like what's going on etc. etc. I can also understand her want for people to just talk or say something.
You describe just enough of the scene so we have a clear image of what her surroundings are but you don't ramble and go into it and bore it with long, tedious explanations of every single little detail.
It's just overall very original, grin-tastic and brilliant. So superbly superb and fantastically fantastic it's unbelievably unbelievable. I'll be waiting with my high heels ready to run, waiting for the first chance to run out and order the actual book ;)
|Teffers - Tuesday April 19, 2005 at 18:59|