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Not Logged InMonday September 27, 2021 - 03:08
Article
Story: The House on Thornrose Lane: A Grimm Tale
Posted on Thursday September 07, 2006 at 22:50 by aliciablade
AIMod Download Enabled
Members Stories Rated: PG
Status: Completed

Serena is an average girl living an average girl's life while trying to keep her beliefs in fairy tales alive. That is, until an average-looking kitten crosses her path and leads her to the crumbling shack of an old hermit. At first, Serena thinks the man, who goes by J. Grimm and named his cat Puss in Boots, is probably just old and crazy. But when Serena steps out of his hovel to find herself in a new world where evil witches, fairy godmothers, and handsome princes are the norm, she quickly discovers that fairy tales aren't so hard to believe in after all.


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Number of Chapters: 35          Total Size: 997k          Word Count: 178,890

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Anonymous - Monday July 30, 2012 at 03:50
Now, That... is a top story!!!
Loki - Monday December 06, 2010 at 17:24
Some stories stand the test of time and enchantment, and here while I'm at it, congratulations on becoming a published author, you deserve it: this story shows us where the magic wellspring has come from!

Thank you for being an awesome part of the SM fandom girl! <3
magdalenna - Friday April 18, 2008 at 21:52
Finally the end and I like it.Everything. :)

But after I read it and think about it
I have a question:
If Serena is a guardian of happy endings in
a fairy tale land would that mean she can´t have a
happy ending in "real world"?

It´s silly I know...^_^
Isy - Thursday April 17, 2008 at 04:54
The long journey has come to an end and I'm sad to see it go. This story has been one of the most beautiful that I've read in a very long while. The ending was a bit disappointing and too open ended but that lets me and other fellow readers to make up our own happy ending. I'm so glad that everything worked out for the other characters. It was all so charming but Michelle was a bit annoying in the final chapter. Her character was just lacking, I would say. A sequel would be GREAT but its up to you anyways. Again, thanks for this awesome fic.
Jewelz - Wednesday April 16, 2008 at 20:07
Fantastic work and such a pleasure to read and become so completely immersed in. I'm also glad that you finished! I fall in love with so many great stories that remain incomplete and I'm so happy that you saw to its conclusion. It's obvious to me that only a person with your dedication and discipline could have written such a masterpiece.

Endymion's death was actually very very beautiful to me and I think it was loyal and true for you to have followed your instincts and what the story demanded of you. I'm an actor and I feel like you served the story and the characters in the truest sense. It actually reminded me of the ending in "A Knight in Shining Armor" by Jude Devereaux which was so gut wrenching and if you ever get a chance to read it, I think you would see why. Anyways....BRAVO...I look forward to seeing what you'll be coming up with and will support you in any way I can if you ever get this published. I wouldn't mind having more than one copy...
DreamCatcher - Tuesday April 15, 2008 at 04:42
I started reading this story not long after you first started posting (I know, I haven't reviewed. I'm such a slacker.) and I really enjoyed this piece. I've read many of you other fanfictions, and I saw a maturity in it that I think some of your earlier fanfics lacked.

As for Endymion dying, well, I will admit I was sad, but I felt it was necessary to the plot. Definitely NOT a cop-out. I knew from the beginning that she would return to her own world, and while having him die is tragic, having them go about living separately in their respective worlds seems more depressing to me, especially since I (from the very beginning) was actually eager for her to return to her own world to be with Darien. Had she returned to her own world with Endymion still alive in her own, it would have made a relationship with Darien less appealing to the reader...or to me, at least. ^_^

The ending was very good as well. I initially wanted a little bit more Serena/Darien interaction, but I realized rather quickly, that to do so would be to write a whole other story. Some people are probably going to want a sequel as a result, but I feel that you were correct in ending the story where you did.

Wonderful job, and thank you for giving me something to look forward to this year besides a much need summer vacation. Can't wait until your next story. ^_^
Lucilla - Tuesday April 15, 2008 at 04:10
Epic.

"The House on Thornrose Lane: A Grimm Tale" by Alicia Blade is an epic story. I spent many hours trying to think of a perfect word to describe such magical work and, to me, that was THE perfect word. Epic because of its length. Epic because of the raw talent behind each and every word. But mostly, this Grimm Tale was epic because of the unmitigated emotional roller coaster it caused. What a wonderful journey...not only for the story's characters, but for myself as well. I am 100% certain that I shed more tears reading this story than all of the characters combined! Not that this was a tragic tale - because a great deal of those tears were caused by uncontrollable fits of laughter - it's just that you couldn't help but laugh and cry along with each hero / heroine. Each character, no matter how "fairytale-like" their ending, was created so real, so human, that it was impossible not to feel even the smallest affection for them. It's possible that I feel this way because I spent a year and a half / 34 chapters falling in love with the people of Aysel. But what seems like a more probable explanation is simply that Miss Blade brought her characters to life! This is probably why I am so heartbroken at the moment.

Dejected and disappointed, not in the author or her fantastic novel, but because our princess didn't get her prince and, what's worse, is that our prince didn't magically come back to life. But miserable is good...heartbreaking is even better. The fact that Alicia Blade can break a heart through her writing alone shows just how effective an author she really is. No matter how much it saddens me when the girl doesn't get her guy, I wouldn't change this ending. Though I have as much of a penchant for happy endings as the next hopeless romantic, I'm an even bigger stickler for intelligent fiction. To try and shove our prince back into the story would seem too rushed at this point and create far too many loop holes. As in real life – which also so happens to be the world of the storytellers – things don't always turn out the way we want them to. That doesn't mean that our lives have to end or that we have to be miserable forever. Granted we're allowed to be miserable for a good amount of time, but eventually we learn to be happy again. This is why I still consider Miss Blade a diamond in the rough. The impression that we are left with in the final scene, that of a person overcoming great heartache, brings a sense of realism to such a magical tale as this. Real, in that, we know what the main character is going through...it's even something that could happen in our own lives. Through this “taste” of reality, we hopeful readers are given the fantasy that fairytales, like “The House on Thornrose Lane” are real and can happen to each and every one of us. What's more, this ending shows the readers that, despite our prince missing, all is not lost and our heroine can still find her happily-ever-after...eventually. Some might say that our princess needs to find her happily-ever-after now with this new prince. Personally, I love that nothing tangible happens in the end. Had they kissed I would have felt it too soon and that the heroine was betraying the fallen hero, thus in turn betraying me as a reader who is emotionally invested in both lead characters. However, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it as much if the heroine was destined for a life of complete and utter misery – it is after all a fairytale. So the fact that the author left the future open for the two in the end left room for hope...and, for me, a genuine and hopeful ending is always 100 times better than a rushed or simulated happily-ever-after.

On a more technical note, there were a few minor grammatical errors in this chapter (i.e. "Serena," Briar Rose snapped. "I can't GET MAKE an ounce of sense out of him. Please tell me what this is all about."); however, that's nothing a fresh pair of eyes won't fix! What's more important to me is the flow of the story. If the writing is choppy it greatly distracts me and I find it extremely difficult to devote myself fully to the tale. Generally you set an amazing tone and are brilliant with transitioning sequences, but there are a couple of scenes that need work. For example, in response to Briar Rose's gratitude, Serena says "I'm the Guardian of Happy Endings. That's what I do." There was more dialogue following that statement and I expected it to be more discourse between Serena and Briar Rose, but it turned out to be a completely different person speaking in an entirely different setting. I suggest mentioning that after Serena says her little spiel about being a guardian you mention “the single-room house” that Grimm built, and then follow that with Artemis' comment ("You don't have to go. You know that, right?"). On a whole, I'd have to say that this was a magnificent ending to an astonishing tale. The scenes between Serena and her father (“it was exactly like being held by the father she'd always dreamt of”) and her mother (“I could never leave you”) were so emotionally charged and brought a whole new light to those relationships. It was positively my favourite chapter! That being said, my favourite scene in the whole novel was unquestionably Serena and Endymion's farewell scene in chapter 24. The exchange between our two heroes brought about such emotion that my eyes stung from the blinding tears and it felt as though my heart was being stabbed repeatedly. The fact that you brought back the words of that scene was probably a huge (though not the only) factor to why this chapter is my favourite. Endymion's words were everything you would want your significant other to say but pray to God they would never need to!

All in all, it has to be said that "The House on Thornrose Lane: A Grimm Tale" is truly Alicia Blade at her finest. This work of art – for that's exactly what it is – will definitely be a cherished addition to any library. As affected as I am by the ending, I'm infinitely sadder that there will be no future instalments of this “Grimm Tale” to look forward to. I guess I'll just have to purchase “Bound In Skin” to tide me over until her newest story!

Greatly anticipating “To The Gentleman In The Back”,
Lucilla
Loki - Tuesday April 15, 2008 at 02:53
As the journey ends, it only begins again, for each of us who picks up the well-worn tale, starts out along the inevitable new trail.

Why one might ask? Because as the pages unfurl, and the characters come to meet you, the reader, they take you with them, by the hand into the lands and realms of possibility. Again, kingdoms are born renewed, the sculptured towers, the gardens ablaze with perfume, the people with their hope and dreams, fears and anxieties, trials and heroic deeds, the villains we so despise -- we drink of the well of magic, of flights of fancy into the undying blooms that burst forth whenever we breathe new life into the unending stories we love so well, for you the weaver, the dreamer, the story guardian, invite us all to Thornrose Lane, and as we step through that portal, gaze into the mirror of sole, see the characters in the likeness of our heart's desires and secret yernings, we see the reflection that as part of any book of magical wonders, ourselves and upon the thrones the makers, the ones who through love and devotion, hard work and through a forest of surprises and a dappled forest of the writer's craft we come together and live the dream again and again,

Bards all, let us remember and relive and write the story as we read it, for isn't that the true magic of the writer's heart and their gift to all?

Well done Ali-chan, simply enchanting and beautiful, thank you so much! *hearts and roses*
hobbit - Tuesday April 15, 2008 at 02:01
Brilliant.

If anything could be altered I would wish Serena had one chance to reciprocate Endymion's love. The fact that he dies is understandable to me (by the way that scene did NOT sound like a crop out). I go back to read it (it's the only time they kiss) and every time I succumb to tears (no wonder you got writer's depression). I think Serena never got closure of any kind which is why even if she and Darien gets together it will be hard for her to truly love him. Other than this, your work was incredible and a “diamond in the rough.” It has been a pleasure to stick with you for this year and a half for this piece, and I can't wait for your future pieces.
Bakayaro - Tuesday April 15, 2008 at 00:43
Warning, this comment contains a spoiler!


=\
To be honest I don't know if I like the ending.
I mean, this is the way it's supposed to end and it's an appropriate ending, but I like that one true love idea.
At least for my favorite characters Serena & Darien (and all their other names) anyways.
It feels kinda weird that she's falling in love with a whole new guy and not with Endymion.
ice_crystal666 - Monday April 14, 2008 at 23:59
This story was great. I've already read it twice, and though Endymion's death was sad, I like how you wrapped up the story. I hope you are going to consider doing a sequal to this one.
spud - Monday April 14, 2008 at 23:51
Wow, that was so poignant - the end, I mean. I really enjoyed your story Alicia Blade, and I totally and definitely agree that you should publish it. It's so wonderful, and I don't think you need to change it in any way - I loved that it wasn't just a typical happy ending, because Endymion did die, and yet, there was a happy ending for Serena with Darien.

I just really and sincerely wish that you had developed Serena and Darien's relationship a bit further; I really expected to see them kiss at least, and maybe for Serena to share her story with Darien and take him back to Aysel. When I finished the chapter it took me a moment to realize that that was the end because I really did expect another chapter in which Serena and Darien got closer and they returned to Aysel.

Either way, I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this story and have been an avid follower of its progress. Thank you for such a pleasurable read! It has always made my day to check my email and see that you've updated - I'm going to miss that, but I look forward to your next story.
LadyD - Monday April 14, 2008 at 21:29
I think that you need to make this into a book. you might need to change the names because of copyright, but the story is completely yours and I would love to see it published. this is and excellent story that I would love to have it on my book shelf amongst all of my other fairy tales.
jenna - Monday April 14, 2008 at 21:11
i completely loved the ending. I've been withthis story ever since you posted the first chapter and it didnt even feel like a year. Thoa has to be the most wonderful story i ever read on ariasink and i want to thank you for sharing it.

P.s. i cant wait til the new story
lilcatfish96 - Monday April 14, 2008 at 20:27
WOW! What a ride! You deserve a dozen red roses and a golden pen for that story, AB! Simply Enchanting!
AriallaZarinth - Monday April 14, 2008 at 20:15
I am glad Serena is getting her story in her world, if not in Ayesel -- an ending only bittersweet in the thought that it's the last chapter.
Thank you for sharing your story. :-)
Loki - Saturday April 12, 2008 at 11:49
How can the weft upon the loom produce such a tale that delights the heart, kindles the flagging spirit of our fading dreams of long ago into a blazing fire of hope, imagination, offering the gift that can shape our reality with the touch of story magic bestowing its bounty upon the lovers of fantasy and our secret wishes

WISE, I am increasingly enchanted and thrilled to have had the pleasure of once again reading another amazing chapter from you Ali-chan. I enjoyed the resolutions, the magic of Serena and how you made pathos and joy dance together in an amazing shift of images, feelings and surprise.

A few little things: grammar-wise you need to look at repeat wording, word usage 'passive phrasing' redundancies, expression, the use of the verb, 'reaching' 'bits' 'show not telll' some words clashed with the otherwise beautiful flow of the narrative. Lastly, in a couple of places, typos, for example, 'here' for 'her' & 'Serena looked down, her heart sinking in her *heart* I suggest here, ' into the pit of her stomach, or simply in her 'stomach,'

But I feel this grammatical side of the story needs a line-editor's touch that can highlight these and correct for you and show you the ways in which these can be identified and you can catch yourself writing them and overcome these. BETA's have an eye for different things, some of us are able to focus better on the plot development and voice, tense, or dialogue, others, place emphasis on other aspects of story craft, often a good writer needs two or three people in their corner, but I leave this with you to consider these points. I know if you do, this masterstroke of story genius will hit the top of the hot lists consistently.

Highlights

The way Serena dealt with the Guardians, the way you wrote that, sheer brilliance!

I loved the drama, the twists and turns, Grimme's part in all of this, and the clincher at the chapter's end was classic Alicia Blade magic.

Reading pleasure:

100%

Grammar and structure etc, 75%

Over-all

85%

Salutations and looking forward to the next chapter, well done! *hands you a magical book of faery tales and a pink rose and bows* =^_^=
AriallaZarinth - Wednesday April 09, 2008 at 16:05
I feel terrible not having reviewed in ages -- but wow, I applaud you and this lovely story. To take something that started so light and relatively simple, fixing familiar fairy tales, and turn it into such a deeply involved tale. . . I never tire of your writing, and I have been reading your fanfiction for years. I can't wait for the ending, to see how bitter and how sweet it actually ends up being.

For some reason I kept thinking at the end of things Serena would go back to the other world, that she would find her happy ending there. Now, however, I am not so sure. Looking forward to the next chapter!
jenna - Tuesday April 08, 2008 at 16:39
oh i really cant wait to read the rest. this has been to best story i have read on ariasink ever.
hobbit - Monday April 07, 2008 at 23:13
plz plz pretty plz with a cherry on top let it be a happy ending for Serena!!!! I've been crying for almost every chapter (wonderful chapters).
Fushigi_Hime - Monday April 07, 2008 at 21:23
Another chapter, another clifhanger. I was thrilled to see another chapter posted and went right to it and read away. I know for a fact that once you're finished with this story that I will re-read it from the very beginning. Thank you for this visual treat, I can't wait for the next chapter.
Loki - Monday March 24, 2008 at 11:41
From the four points of story magic, the pillars of imagination, hope in our Serena as the thunderbolts of these powers finds a secret emergent in the journey along the unexpected new path.

Brilliant!
Goddess6298 - Monday March 24, 2008 at 03:25
WISE, The scenery is beautiful, and the character interaction is amazing. Seiya snapping at the end feels a bit awkward but adds to the drama about to unfold.

On a more personal note, more please.
Fushigi_Hime - Wednesday March 19, 2008 at 21:40
Well I can honestly say my mouth hit the floor when I read the last sentence. What a powerful chapter, I just love this story (heck I love all your stories) and when I saw this chapter was up, I got a big grin on my face. Wonderful distraction and a chance to relax my brain after searching this site for the Easter eggs! :) I cannot wait for the next chapter, I'm sure it's going to deliver quite a punch like this chapter did!
darkpower - Wednesday March 19, 2008 at 10:37
Very entertaining chapter, very entertaining series of events. Just when you think you know it all, here comes another twist that makes sense, yet no one else could've seen coming. No errors that I saw. Like the reviewer a few reviews below mine said, you let the story tell how awesome of an author you are. As I have said before, cannot wait to see how this will all end (loved the happy ending thing, though wondering if Serena will end up corrupt like the other guardians).
Bakayaro - Wednesday March 19, 2008 at 03:15
=O
Holy goodness. I have no idea how things are going to end up now. I hope it's a happy ending (and I know it's terribly vague to just say happy ending after that monologue Serena just did, but I don't really feel like explaining my definition of happy ending)
=)
I really enjoyed reading this!
moonangel47 - Tuesday March 18, 2008 at 23:09
wow it's going great!!! i totally love your story =)
Anonymous - Monday March 03, 2008 at 09:27
All I will say is, sensational, everything from top to bottom, can't put this down, (if this were a book that is) XD You don't need anyone to lift your stocks in popularity, you let your stories do that for you and you do it soooooo well! *hugs* *winks*
Isy - Sunday March 02, 2008 at 06:51
Man, this is getting good. Just when you think the good guys r goin to win s**t hits the fan. ARGHHHH. I'm just hating the guardian more and more. You have written a marvelous story here. Suspense, tragedy, humor, love, its all here in the most perfect blend ever. If Sailormoon didn't belong to someone already you should have published this story. I would definitely buy it.
heaven85 - Thursday February 28, 2008 at 06:42
Great chapter!!!! I can't believe the chapter ended like that. I can't wait for the next update. I wonder what will happen next.
moonangel47 - Monday February 25, 2008 at 22:14
It is getting better and better can't wait for the next chapter
angeleyes13 - Sunday February 24, 2008 at 21:37
The plot just gets thicker and thicker...heheheeh!! You are doing an amazing job Aliciablade!
jenna - Sunday February 24, 2008 at 01:55
please,please,please dont make us wait long for the next chapter. I've been following this story since you first posted it, and know that its close to the end i cant wait anymore.
Bakayaro - Saturday February 23, 2008 at 05:41
!
Oh no! The chapter ended just like that! Something good must happen next; it must!
I am a tad bit afraid. Please, please, please have a happy ending. A fairy tale wouldn't be complete without a happy ending.
spud - Saturday February 23, 2008 at 05:39
No, a cliffie! Nonetheless Alicia Blade, it's been another thrilling and wonderful read. I was so excited opening my email to see a tracking alert for 'The House on Thornrose Lane'. And as usual, I can't wait for more. It was entirely amazing, you really captured Serena's feelings, it was so empathetic and realistic! And I love how you always subvert all the cliches, like with Serena's dry thought "Because that is what a fairy-tale heroine would have done."

Hey, I was just wondering how come a lot of the punctuation turns up as question marks? For example: "All three dwarfs paled at the sight�ever distrustful of magic." (sorry, just wondering)

Anyway, I totally loved this chapter, as always. I have never followed any other story this closely, and I just want to tell you thank you, because it really is so wonderful to be able to read such warm, exciting, suspenseful - I could go on forever, but what I mean to say is that your story is one of the few which isn't cliched and yet still leaves you feeling happy and content after reading it.

Can't wait for the next update! Thanks also for updating so frequently.
Rae - Friday February 22, 2008 at 22:12
another great chapter PLEASE update soon!!!!!
nif - Friday February 15, 2008 at 06:40
schweeeeeeeeeeet
Dellia - Tuesday February 12, 2008 at 04:56
I am so looking forward to the next chapter. This story just has a way of drawing you in. Good work. =]
Bakayaro - Tuesday February 12, 2008 at 01:18
!
Amazing chapter! I am so excited :D
I only noticed one mistake, "...casting deep shadows over the rock. It smelled like earth and sweat and urine and Serena gagged, clapping a [mouth over her hand]."

I'd like very much to see Endymion again :)
I hope he shows up (alive) in the next chapter
Rae - Monday February 11, 2008 at 23:51
awesome chapter im so glad its been updated!!! please updtae soon i cant wait till the final battle!!
angeleyes13 - Friday January 25, 2008 at 16:15
Awesome chapter 29!! Keep it coming :)
darkpower - Thursday January 24, 2008 at 08:49
Only issue is a small typo you made--what is a "groun"? I

But this is just me being too picky. Loved how you were able to make everything make sense with one intricate scene, and how well you were able to explain everything.

You know, that last scene very much told me what I have been thinking all along: This fic is alot like the Kingdom Hearts game, except with fairy tales rather than Disney characters (plus not as many restrictions). The way Beryl explained alot to Serena was much like how Ansem did near the end of the first KH! This is actually a REALLY good thing, and it is yet another reason to keep reading. I love this story, and I love how you keep things moving while being able to tell us just enough to not have us lost in any way.

Can't wait to see how this awesome story ends. Keep us the good work, AB!
spud - Thursday January 24, 2008 at 04:04
Love it, as always! I loved all the revelations, the plot twists, the intricacies...DYING to see the next chapter, and to find out what Serena does to Beryl and the mirror + how (and if) she gets her happy ending with Darien/Endymion. Thanks again for a fantastic read!
jenna - Thursday January 24, 2008 at 03:16
oohhh. This just keeps getting better and better. Keep it up =^_~=
awakeandreeming - Wednesday January 23, 2008 at 06:33
>>>"Say, how did you manage to talk him into being partners with you anyway?"

"I didn't," answered Melvin, pushing his glasses up again. "He asked me."<<<

Ohhh...that part made my heart flutter and made me squeal like a little girl haha.

This story is damn interesting so far. I love the incredible imagery you create and can't wait to read more.

Keep up the great work!
Loki - Saturday January 12, 2008 at 11:18
Drama and power, the thorn and the rose, enticing love as it does death, well told
fabulous story craft and characterisation, few flaws, and it was riveting pathos and tragedy of the highest order.

An astounding stroke of Alicia Blade magic,

*hands you a Tux rose with thorns clipped away and bows* *hearts*
darkpower - Thursday January 10, 2008 at 08:36
Just when I think you can't write something any better, you go and you prove me (and everyone else who had the same thought) wrong. Excellent chapter, and excellent play on all of the emotions and true vulnerability of each character. Keep this up (I'm glad a friend of mine convinced me to read this story).
Anonymous - Thursday January 10, 2008 at 06:09
=[ I got all teary eyed and now I feel so sad. I will wait...so very patiently for the next chapter. *Tears*
Lavendermc - Thursday January 10, 2008 at 04:21
Oh, my goodness. No words can describe what I felt, it was truly a wonderfully written, bitter chapter but incredible.

I truly commend you on your writing and wonderfully drawn-out plot lines. I eagerly await more even though I feel terribly sad about Endymion's death. Still, I have hope for the future.

:)
LadyD - Wednesday January 09, 2008 at 21:26
t was an intense but awsome chapter. I love how you portrayed the emotions. it broke my heart to read what happened to endymion (don't want to spoil it for those who haven't read it yet) i'm excited for the next chapter when ever it may come. and please let it be soo it's torture waiting for the next one to come out. good job and good luck! ^.^
Loki - Sunday December 23, 2007 at 14:19
I cannot believe Endymion would be so impulsive, but it was a good chapter, the narrative poised for the next chapter!

A couple of little flaws here and there, but nothing significant, in all the moments of intensity and heart-stopping action, the escape by Mina, and then the actions of Endy, were good contrasts in the tale, but he is in a bit of a bind to say the least! *hands you a pink rose and bows*
Bakayaro - Thursday December 20, 2007 at 03:02
The guardians are stupid D:<
darkpower - Wednesday December 19, 2007 at 20:24
Good chapter, more along the backstory. Looks like you're going to be planning for a huge fight to the death. That will be very interesting to see.
Isy - Sunday December 16, 2007 at 07:20
WTF! Serena had so many things that she needed to do and Neptune just had to ruin it!!!! I never expected Serena to fall so soon. Atleast set the princes and princesses free and send out help! ARGH, I'm really getting p****d at Neptune now. I'm starting to doubt the guardian's evilness. There's something really fishy about it all. Please update soon!
angeleyes13 - Sunday December 09, 2007 at 23:32
Lovely story!!! I love the twist you put in, in the later chapters!. I will be checking frequently for chapter 27!!!! Bravo!
darkpower - Saturday December 08, 2007 at 08:54
Good chapter...not going to spoil it for anyone else this time.

But that one thing that Loki said caught me off guard, as well. Other than that, didn't see anything too off the mark.

Can't wait to see how it's all going to end.
Loki - Thursday December 06, 2007 at 17:23
A drama filled chapter

Suspense, precision story craft, fractured faery magic, and you the weaver produce the magic so easily!

Some little typos, little repeat words, the 'She reached *her hand* toward itSuggest, 'reached toward it' but all else was picture perfection!

Love the drama, the image of Serena in her dress behind the curtain, that resonated so beautifully, the body physical, the thorns, I felt her scratches and cuts, the clever way fate wove things, the thorns and the plot thicken. Brilliant and marvelous characterisation -- congratulations on another stunning piece of story magic! *hands you a friendly pink rose and bows*
Anonymous - Thursday December 06, 2007 at 03:44
i totally love your story =)
hobbit - Wednesday December 05, 2007 at 15:57
yeah! i was right! i called it earlier on! this is so exciting! please update sooooonnnn!!!
Bakayaro - Wednesday December 05, 2007 at 03:46
Ahh! I so expected that! :D
I cannot wait for the next chapter
but I will not rush you
take your time
but not too much :)
AriallaZarinth - Wednesday December 05, 2007 at 01:07
Firstly, congrats on completing NaNo! I'm afraid I didn't quite make it this year... silly school taking up too much time.

Secondly, the last few chapters have been excellent! The whirlwind change of pace from one faerie tale at a time to the uncovering of the conspiracy beneath it all -- and what a finish to this latest chapter! I cannot wait to see how the twist in the Sleeping Beauty story works out. Keep up the great work!
CharlyB - Tuesday December 04, 2007 at 21:10
This chapter was wonderful! I was getting suspicious of the guardians, but I didn't figure them as being so evil. In addition, how did Serena take Briar Rose's chosen place with the curse. Were they switched at birth? Great twist, didn't see it coming! Also, congrats on both NaNoWriMo and your publication!
SereHeart - Tuesday December 04, 2007 at 20:28
You are the best writer ever! This story is amazing, and I am definitely going to buy one of the books from Amazon.
Anonymous - Tuesday December 04, 2007 at 19:46
AHHHHHHH!!! I KNEW IT! XP I'm so excited for the next chapter now! Keep up the good work and your book will be added to my X-mas wish list.
darkpower - Friday November 23, 2007 at 09:23
Nice story. Surprised that me, someone that likes the more action oriented and epic storylines would fall for something like this, but I have. You're weaving an intrigued plot of deception, conspiracy, betrayal, and so on. I'm really interested to see what Hota and Andrew are doing in 25. Are they truly working for the evil queen, or could they be double agents trying to fool her or something? Or is there something else that none of us will see coming? I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Nice story.
Anonymous - Friday November 16, 2007 at 18:25
I totally love your story it rocks! please write more =}
Rae - Monday November 05, 2007 at 17:14
another great chapter please update soon
Bakayaro - Sunday November 04, 2007 at 23:05
Wow what a shocker! I really was not expecting Andrew or Hota to be related in any of this! Plus, I was really expecting Serena to prick her thumb on the spinning wheel and fall asleep (because I had the theory that she was really Briar Rose).
Well I'm really excited for the next chapter to come out
What a cliff hanger :O
Rakusa - Sunday November 04, 2007 at 00:50
damn it I hate it when you leave me hanging!
Loki - Saturday November 03, 2007 at 11:31
betrayed or a ruse?

WISE:

I am amazed by the power of this latest chapter, who would have thought, with the twists and turns, Serena must be beside herself ATM.

One or two minor things to point out, a little repeat wording on a couple of occasions, a line here, to 'wrapped or was it, wrapping *suggest* 'itself' around, the statue I think it was, :D the only little thing I could find.

But otherwise it was perfection of the most spellbinding kind.

Highlights:

vocabulary, world building, flow and pace, impeccable.

The pure evil of the queen, the very 'Beryl' aspect was powerfully recreated by your creative hand, the thorns, were incredibly dynamic and powerful.

The tension and the confrontation between Serena and Grimm, and twists and the amazing turns, the eerie image of Brior Rose, the atmospherics were incredible.

But the surprise at the end, classic edge of the seat stuff and brilliant!

Imagery, palpable, a great skill you possess is that ability to forge a world, realm or universe and make it linger like a floral fragrance upon the imagination and haunt our senses long after reading. This is such a story.

Characterisation again, perfection. Love the dialogue.

the story is really poised for the next installment -- and looking forward to that with much anticipation.

A job well done, Ali-chan!

*hands you a Tux rose and bows*
Loki - Thursday November 01, 2007 at 17:54
Dare I say, things are looking pretty Grimm! LOL

Excellent characterisation as always, only one thing to watch out for, a small flaw: reached *a hand* up to her face.[reached inplies the use of the hand, and is a case of telling, not showing. careful there. ^^

Highlights:


As I said before, beautiful characterisation, The scene where Serena is at her wit's end, the tragedy, so like the Greeks, the loss and the tempest, the trials to come.

Endymion and Endymion, the shattered glass a tablaux with poignant meaning.

Glass both shattered and confined to the casing of the lost. Powerful and archetypal --brilliant.

The parting, the fear sprouting in the heart of Serena, the love, not so easily claimed, the paradox of feeling, you conveyed that so well.

Imagery, as always, a tapestry of enchantment, rich vision and color. You paint worlds as an artist paints a protrait. How the magic flows from your hands is a wonder and surprise.

Madam Foxglove is a sweetheart, and the children so cute.

I love the vocabulary you're using in the story and it works beautifully.

A tapestry of depth in the story, the dialogue, and the tension you maintained throughout.

A fantastic chapter!

REading Pleasure 100%

grammar 95%

*hands you a Tux rose and bows*
Anonymous - Thursday October 25, 2007 at 16:48
Hmm...that was really sad. I keep trying to figure out what's going to happen and if you're going to somehow add a happy ending to this...but ahhh... I don't know. So I can't wait to see what happens next! Great job on this chapter. I really enjoyed the scene with Serena and Endymion. Hehe and I'm going to be a flapper girl for Halloween ^^
spud - Thursday October 25, 2007 at 09:25
Good luck! And wow, I loved this chapter (nothing new there =P). Please update soon! I was blown away by the emotion (esp the sorrow), I can't wait for the (hopefully) happy ending. I can't wait to figure out the mystery behind all this suspense! Thanks so much for another beautiful read, Alicia Blade
WildCat - Thursday October 25, 2007 at 01:32
Man, your mean. I'm hanging on to suspense here! Is Serena going to confront the evil Beryl? Will Serena be able to love Prince Endymion? What about Grimm, what's his relationship with Beryl and why is he in league with her?
Pleease continue with this story, I want to find out how this story ends up! I continually wait in eagerness for the next chapters, your doing a magnificent job! Keep it up.
I have always loved your stories, your a terrific writer.
Anonymous - Wednesday October 10, 2007 at 18:14
Want to know something Ironic/funny? Today in my class we were talking about lady with a dog and both of the main characters are married to some one else but they met and started to care deeply for each other and our teacher was telling us that this story between them is more than love or happiness but something deeper, more meaningful and my instant thought was about this story, those words had been said the night before, in this story between Endymion and Serenity. Bravo, you're up there with Chekov for literary genious!
Lialyn - Wednesday October 10, 2007 at 04:35
OH MY GOD!!!!!!! What a cliffhanger!!!! This is an amzaing story. The ABSOLUTE best fanfic that I've read so far. I can't wait to read what happens next. Please countinue to update!!!!
~Lialyn~
sweet_bella - Tuesday October 09, 2007 at 13:56
Amazing!!! So much happening at one time. I can not wait to find out what happens next!! you always keep me guessing. Good job!!
AriallaZarinth - Tuesday October 09, 2007 at 05:25
A thrilling chapter. I really find it intriguing how in a sense we're watching a story play out because of the usually superior knowledge of the Guardians and we're also in the middle of a story as Serena gets more entangled in the world, and issues arise that are too complex for a knowledge of faerie tales to be enough to fix them.
crazzieblue - Tuesday October 09, 2007 at 04:24
WHAT! that's all i can think of right now is WHAT!
Now to clear my head and give a good review. I love how your taking the different stories and weaving them into one juicy, drama filled tale. I was a little worried with the rhythm you had, that it was slowing down, but you picked it back up with this chapter. Drama, Drama, Drama!
Brilliant ending i will say. Probably one of the best cliff-hangers I've read in a long time. Please say you have a plan and aren't flying by the seat of your pants. I can't wait to see how you work this one out and finish with the last princess' tale. Will we see any other grimm tales like before or are you going to keep to the main ones from now on?
This is an amazing story and one of the best of it's time. Please please please try to get this story published because i would definitely buy it! Just WOW!
Isy - Tuesday October 09, 2007 at 04:16
Holy Sh!t. That was an unexpected twist to the end of this chapter. I LOVE IT!!!! Poor Briar Rose and Endymion. Won't they ever get a break? This chapter was great and I wouldn't change a thing. Please update soon.
Bakayaro - Tuesday October 09, 2007 at 02:55
Gosh was it just me or was that chapter very short? How long do you suppose it will take for the next chapter to come out? Ahh.. I hope it will be soon
Rae - Tuesday October 09, 2007 at 02:00
YOu are so evil leabing it like that but I LOVE this story, fairytales are my favorite i cant wait for the next chapter
DaBlackRose - Tuesday October 09, 2007 at 01:17
oh finally! Someone has updated. It seems since the school year has started everyone has stopped writing entirely! Please continue what a wonderful cliff hanger. I wonder how on earth serena is going to fix this? Lots of twists for this one! And grimm working for beryl. oh, that sucks. I don't know if serena can beat the 'god' of the fairy tale world! I'm so anxious....
Lavendermc - Tuesday October 09, 2007 at 00:38
AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Loki - Wednesday September 26, 2007 at 14:56
WISE critique --

A fabulous chapter, tempestuous and infuriatingly 'edge-of-the-seat brilliance.

House-keeping:

Finished with his *administrations,* (wrong word here, this means beurocracy, administrators etc, the correct term is, 'ministrations, as in 'minister to'

found phrasing with 'the breath -- didn't realize they were holding, a common usage thing, try and find more original wording.

Again the third person narration using 'off-of' this jars and if as I have suggested before, it was used by Serena as she comes from our time it would be okay, but not in third person or in the Grimme universe I'm afraid.

Also, am a little concerned at the structure of some tags starting with 'said such and such, better the other way round.

A couple of typos, but essentially that was the main thing, Oh, in one sentence near the end you had Serena using the word 'face' and 'face was present in the connecting tag. Perhaps alter this a little to avoid repetition? ^_^

Highlights

The lavish descriptions as always were sheer magic.

The characterisation continues to impress and the warmth of the characters reflected in your style leave an indelible mark on the reader -- class writing -- Grimme's portrayal particularly striking and dark.

I loved the pendulous dialogue regarding Serena's standing with her friends, how fortunes can easily shift dramatically. The affect and the drama superb and everything about this story from the reader pleasure POV was 100% class and polish.

As an editor I feel a little nip and tuck here and there makes this worthy of publication as a fanfiction novella or novel in print, it is that good.

I encourage you to seriously consider it. I feel you are deserving of the praise you've received. You are in my view, up there with the leading lights of fanfiction, for the obvious love you pour into your work.

We are most fortunate to have you on AI and I think you're amongst the best I have read over the last decade and you are up with the giants and one of them yourself. What I love most about you is you continue to evolve and dazzle us with your beautiful imagination and passion for your craft. Your vocabulary is excellent and everything flows perfectly. Take a bow girl, you've got what it takes, no doubt of that at all.
L. *bows to the queen of enchantment and hands you a magic flower and fairy's dream*
Isy - Thursday September 20, 2007 at 05:38
Ohhh and the plot thickens. This is awesome! A twist w/ a Grimm being a possibly evil villian and helper to Beryl. mwahahahaa. And what's w/ Raye's reaction to Alex. Very odd. Please update soon! I look forward to the next one.
Anonymous - Thursday September 20, 2007 at 00:52
i love this story ..great job!
spud - Wednesday September 19, 2007 at 04:59
Oh wow, the plot's thickened massively! This is one of the things I love about your stories - they don't drag on endlessly and pointlessly: there's always something happening, and it's so interesting! And at the same time, mysterious and suspenseful, I'm always guessing at what's going to happen next! Speaking of which, (hint, hint), I cannot WAIT for the next chapter - or the one after that, and the one after that...I am DYING to know what happens, I wish I could just read the whole story right now! Anyway, thanks for another beautiful chapter and a wonderful read.
Bakayaro - Wednesday September 05, 2007 at 20:45
Wow you're getting published! That's wonderful! I am really happy for you :)
I couldn't help but notice though that it said Gothic Romance anthology? Is it like dark and (excuse me for the lack of a better word) Gothic-y? No matter, I'll still read it :)
Anonymous - Wednesday September 05, 2007 at 02:21
love each chapter they're great ...can't wait for more =)
Anonymous - Wednesday September 05, 2007 at 01:35
awww... i feel so sorry for serena. this chapter is sad. i have my own predictions now about what's going to happen in the next chapters. hehe. oh and i will buy your book once it's published.. i can't wait!
Loki - Sunday September 02, 2007 at 05:33
Enchanting

A story within a story, dream within a dream and the reader and the story are one

WISE: weaving the magic, the dream and the tale is the threshold we cross and you, the bard, the lady of story magic, as the eyes behind the characters, the eyes that meet our reading pleasure, a tale of its own to be sure, converge.

Beautifully written and characters, images and style and narrative structure ingenius. Few flaws -- gold shining brighter than the sun!

It takes you into its magic and stays with you long after reading. *hands you a crystal quill and a magical talisman and bows*
AriallaZarinth - Wednesday August 29, 2007 at 20:00
You needn't apologize for a chapter that doesn't relentlessly push the plot forward -- the tenderness with which Mina takes care of Serena and the telling of her own fairy tale really makes for a beautiful chapter.
Loki - Tuesday August 28, 2007 at 18:16
Wow... Drama and

WISE, one little grammar thing, here: 'He *reached up a hand* (this would be better as 'she lifted his/her/a hand hand, or simply bi-pass by saying, 'she-he touched her face' ' grammar-wise, the verb, 'reached' isn't suited to the action, it is a matter of showing, not telling and the use of 'reached up implies *overhead* and annunciates a redundancy. ^_^ A minor point, but I raise it for your consideration. But otherwise, this was an incredibly exciting and beautifully written chapter

Highlights:

Magic and marvels with the Harp, the vast chamber, and the ultimate cliff-hanger, not to mention the revelation and the elemental textures and visualization -- brilliant. World-building superb, the dialogue and the pace of the narrative, it is filled with wonders and you have done it justice as always -- Looking forward to more!Brilliant! *hands you a crystal quill, a rose and bows*
Loki - Tuesday August 28, 2007 at 17:40
In a word -- excellent

WISE, a magical tale is 18 and the characters come alive, elemental power and magic, a trist to be found and coffee and apple delights to be had. flows beautifully, storycraft amazing!

A fabulous chapter it is! *hands you a magical staff of crystal and a mug of coffee and cream* =^_^=
AriallaZarinth - Thursday August 16, 2007 at 06:53
Oh my, a heart attack chapter indeed. First Endymion's surprising idea -- for him to go back to Serena's world, where his double lives as Darien? But of course the Briar Rose/Endymion/Serena drama can't unfold quickly because of the giant.
Your rhythm of story telling, especially in layered storylines like this, is as always superb.
spud - Wednesday August 15, 2007 at 07:54
Wow! Some nice twists and turns! That last bit was especially and incredibly unexpected, when Trista said that Endymion would be happy with Briar Rose, I can't wait to see how you work around that. Thanks heaps for another exciting chapter! As usual, I look forward to the next one - especially after the way you've left this chapter (or should I say, Serena), hanging!
Anonymous - Tuesday August 14, 2007 at 21:43
Great chapters... i loved this story.
jazmin07 - Tuesday August 14, 2007 at 20:32
This fic is so great.... I love it..... and it is a heart attack chapter indeed, I'm barely breathing while reading it especially the last part
hobbit - Tuesday August 14, 2007 at 15:24
Hey! Brilliant fanfic! I love the magic and fantasy feel to it. I'm guessing here but this is what my prediction of what is going to happen. I think that Serena is Sleeping Beauty because if i remember correctly after the curse was placed she was taken away to live with her fairy godmothers. Which is why i take it that Serena was taken away after her betrothal (where Andrew first noticed the love) to Earth. That's why the mother understood so well because she knew it would happen. Also it makes sense that Andrw stated that the love that once was between Endymion has faded...because the princess is not really the princess therefore he can't love her, and the reason for Serena's heartache is because her story has to encompass tradgedy. The guardians are telling her conflicting things to make the story go right (Sleeping Beauty was in love with someone who turned out to be the prince even though she did not know she was the princess). That would mean that Trista is right but Serena just does not realize that Trista is talking about them both. That's just my guess tell me if i'm right! ^_^
lilcatfish96 - Tuesday August 14, 2007 at 13:30
Eccellent chapter! I can't wait to read the update. I love the way you have entwined the fairy tales with our fave SM characters. Hugs!
Katrina - Tuesday August 14, 2007 at 02:59
Amazing! This is definitely my favorite chapter so far. Keep up the wonderful work, and update SOON! :)
Anonymous - Tuesday August 14, 2007 at 02:19
Heart-attack chapter indeed. I held my breath through most of the good parts and wowie was my face turning blue! Oh and what a cliff hanger you have left us on and I'll keep on hanging until chapter 20 ;]
Anonymous - Friday August 03, 2007 at 19:53
Please say that you are updating soon!
Anonymous - Tuesday July 31, 2007 at 22:04
Write more soon!
spud - Thursday July 19, 2007 at 10:38
Left on the edge of my seat, again! Oh the suspense is killing me. But I loved it! Judging from your foreshadowing, Alex is a prince too, huh? I keep saying this, but I can't wait for the next chapter to come out! Thanks for getting this one out so soon! I really enjoyed it and look forward to reading more
Bakayaro - Wednesday July 18, 2007 at 03:03
Oh! I bet I know what's happened between Endy and Briar Rose! But I will not leave it on the comment board because it might spoil the story if I am right
moonangel47 - Tuesday July 17, 2007 at 20:45
Great chapters..keep doing great work.
Anonymous - Tuesday July 17, 2007 at 19:44
I love this story! =]
sweet_bella - Tuesday July 17, 2007 at 18:19
great chapter!! I want to know what happens next!! Please don't keep us all waiting
CharlyB - Tuesday July 17, 2007 at 17:51
As always, I'm completely hooked on this story. Great job so far, can't wait for the next chapter. I totally didn't see Jack and the Beanstalk coming, though.
Anonymous - Saturday July 14, 2007 at 22:10
Great chapter...loved it hope you finish it
sweet_bella - Thursday July 12, 2007 at 15:25
This story is unique and I enjoyed ready it. Looking forward to the next chapter.
spud - Wednesday July 11, 2007 at 08:59
36 chapters! and we're only on the 17th! Whoa! Well, it'll definitely be a fun read, I TOTALLY love your story. I've been following it for ages, I constantly look forwards to more updates (hoping they come sooner now that the draft is finished :P ) Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story (and imagination) with us, it really is wonderful and I really appreciate being able to enjoy stories as well written and entrancing (and enchanting) as this (it's so hard to find books with these types of stories). If you publish books in Australia, I would very much love to read them
Anonymous - Monday July 09, 2007 at 20:07
Oh please update soon! Please please please!
KATH1984 - Monday July 09, 2007 at 17:17
LOVING IT...CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTERS.
Anonymous - Monday July 09, 2007 at 15:36
This story just gets more and more interesting! Great job!! =]
Anonymous - Monday July 09, 2007 at 10:27
Love this story!
Loki - Monday June 25, 2007 at 16:15
A fascinating convergence

WISE, Atmospherics weregreat, problems though small with the persistent XalrightX contractions, watch those, and over-use of exclamation and question marks, you could reduce these in dialogue. giving him, *reached a gentle hand out* (reached is the wrong word here tense-wise, 'extended' works better')

Tose things aside, the sparks between Jadeite and Snow-White were great to see, the images and the forest were great props to add to the atmosphere of the ride through that forest as Rei told all about the wicked queen.

You are very strong on settings, creating a mood and this worked extremely well in this chapter. vocabulary was great, be careful of repeat words and redundancies, and fragmented sentences and such, but over-all it was another gem.

Characterisation is also a fabulous skill you have with your writing, you weave the warmth and texture of a persona so well into the narrative, that takes talent, and you've plenty of that, a few minor flaws, but a good proofing will fix these and you also can add a great touch of humor and romantic flare, especially latter in the chapter and it worked brilliantly.

Congrats on another magical page in this enchanting story! *bows and hands you a moon rose*
Isy - Saturday June 23, 2007 at 03:57
A double ceremony!!!! AHhhh I'm just screaming w/ joy for them! Picturing Neph in an apron and fixing the silverware was an interesting experience. Thanks for that and the update. You're a wonderful writer. I look forward to the next chapter.
LiLo_LaO_eMoShUnZ - Thursday June 21, 2007 at 18:33
I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH!!! So much that it's making it so very very painful to wait for the next chapter to come out. I loved chapter 15..it was so *sigh* adorable and chapter 16 makes me more excited for 17! PLEASE UPDATE SOON! Eeeeek! I can't wait! =]
Anonymous - Tuesday June 19, 2007 at 17:07
Hey, I thought this was so good, myths and fairy tales I adore these, you know, you write so well. I only wish people would make more of an effort and say something about this great story instead of asking you to update all the time, that gets really sooooooo old! so I hope people will say a lot more about a great fic that deserves it!!!
Anonymous - Tuesday June 19, 2007 at 06:29
please update soon! !
Anonymous - Friday June 08, 2007 at 15:07
I feel as if I were in a world of myth and fantasy and beautiful things, gorgeous and the characters . . . what can I say, truly remarkable and your interpretation as all have sad, words are just not enough... I for one hope you continue this as long as your muse wishes it so... I am in no hurry to see you finish it in a hurry as I want to log on and keep finding more wonderful chapters and lose myself after a day of study... keep it up Alicia ^___^ Love it!!
Anonymous - Friday June 08, 2007 at 02:24
Hopefuly you will finish the story it is very good i can't wait to finish the story ...Great.
Anonymous - Tuesday June 05, 2007 at 15:24
a very nice story this is, and I love fairy tales and Sailor Moon. Puss in Boots, but as cool and beautiful this is, I would love to see a lot more about the fairy girl, Hota, she is sweet and magical, maybe she could have a side story, friends of her kind, a love of her own? That would be so cute and romantic. Magic, more magic as you can never have enough of that........love.....love......just adore Endymion and Serena, I hope you write fifty chapters for this! I would never be bored! Promise! ^^^
galena_steel - Sunday June 03, 2007 at 07:23
Lovely story. I think chapter 15 is my favourite chapter too so far. I loved the conversation between Endymion and Serena as well as the scene at the well. Amazing descriptions. I also adore the dwarves new nickname for Endymion. I laughed out loud. Great read!
AriallaZarinth - Monday May 28, 2007 at 23:30
I really like how things are starting to get more interwoven now, with Serena really being pulled into the world instead of just relying on her knowledge of faerie tales to fix things, and with there being a connection between Snow White & Briar Rose. Also I like seeing more about how Serena feels about Darien and Endymion, but the more I find out, the more I wonder if she's ever going to go back, and if she does... how close Darien & Endymion really are to being the same person. I guess I'll just hafta read and find out :)
Isy - Saturday May 19, 2007 at 08:47
Wow. Serena actually got attacked. That scene was really cool. Thanks for the new chapter. Things are getting exciting. So Serena got the comb, who will get the lace? I can't wait till the next chapter.
Loki - Saturday May 19, 2007 at 04:41
An incredibly good chapter Lady Alicia Blade!

WISE: I loved this chapter, especially for its fantastic characterization of the dialogue between Endymion and Serena. I did pick up a few little things for you to tweak, but aside from one or two little typos a proof read would fix, these were all…

1: When her arms found strength again, she slowly reached *one* up (suggest inserting, 'with one hand and gingerly') and felt her scalp,

2: Raye's eyes quickly rose to *her* (hers) and flashed,

3: and Raye let her speculative *face* (expression)

4: that she must have *just* (redundant) seen *that* (thought) it was a girl and assumed…"

5: From the corner of her eye, Serena noticed Endymion *sit up straighter* (straighten) with surprise.

6: After all, she now admonished *that*(suggest taking out 'that' as it creates structural conflict and replace with, herself and') he was probably right.


Highlights


A romantic, mystical and dark chapter filled with magic and suspense.

The dialogue between Endymion and Serena-- well portrayed, kudos there, I loved your imagery, the use of the moonlight, the candle light and the silvery light of the enchanted well…

I recognized elements of magic in the mirror pool of the well, reminded me of a Celtic myth, but escapes me right now. It was powerful and the way darkness slid surreptitiously into the vision was brilliant, you can weave moods and atmospherics as if fine cloth on a tapestry.

Endymion's ministrations for Serena symbolically linking her fate and place into the weft of the narrative also well constructed.

I am awe-struck by the way you described Serena's state when they found her, a great example of good story-craft.

Thank you for giving us so much; you're a treasure. It is obvious to all who appreciate the hard work, time and dedication you put into your writing that you love what you do. Salutations!
*hands you a cluster of magical blooms and a silver candle and a wish upon a moonbeam* L.
LiLo_LaO_eMoShUnZ - Thursday May 17, 2007 at 22:15
Goodness..I knew that the original Grimm stories had a lot of gore in it but I haven't had the chance to read them yet. Haha I don't think I'd be able to read through them anyway since I had trouble reading through the step-sister scenes...eww. I'm really enjoying the story so far and I'm kind of waiting to hear more about puss in boots.
Loki - Tuesday May 08, 2007 at 16:09
Agreat tale

WISE, this latest chapter had plenty to offer the reader, but first, a little house keeping:

1: She *reached up her hands* (better to write, She lovingly smoothed down his long blonde hair' this removes the redundancy and *shows* us the action and not *tells*the reader what is happening) and lovingly soothed down Zoicite's long blonde
hair. "Oh, my poor prince," she murmured, running a hand along the blindfold. "Look what that witch has done to you."

2: He *reached up* (could remove 'reached up and' redundant) and grabbed her hands,

3: Zoicite *tied* (better to put, 'wound' his arms tightly around her waist).

4: he *reached up and* (redundancy here, *show* not *tell* suggest cutting 'reached up' out) cupped her face

5: *Shaking* his head, he gave his horse's reigns a *shake*
(watch repetition of *shaking* and *shake* find another word for *shake*)
and they *paused* (structure here needs a little work, this is a little awkward, could write as, pausing long enough *on'they their horses* (redundant as we know they're on hourseback) long enough

6: Jadeite joked, gracefully climbing *off of* ( this colloquialism is out of place in this narrative, fairy tale world, suggest changing to 'off') his horse

Highlights:

I loved the way the witch was dispatched, the timing and the way the events unfolded was smooth and enjoyable to read. (Visualization first rate)

I loved the humor with the dwarfs and Hota is as cute and enigmatic as always. Snow White - Rei, was well portrayed and the characterisation was truly convincing and enchanting.

The romantic scene between Ami and Zoicite was beautifully done, and faithful to Grimme, yet original in your telling of it.

The birds and the transformation and the way you brought the children in demonstrates the skill you possess at bringing characters to life and continuing to make them 'real' well done on that account!

Even Endy was great and the pumpkin revenge at the beginning there was rib-tickling.

So all-round a great chapter, a few llittle flaws, but easily fixed. The chapter was otherwise superb. Great job and will be watching out for your next offering.

*hands you a crystal wand and a rose and bows*
AriallaZarinth - Wednesday May 02, 2007 at 18:44
Nice introduction of Raye! Everything went so smoothly in this chapter, though, I'm wondering if that's preparation for a big change..? Hope to see the next chapter out soon :) Keep up the great work!
spud - Tuesday May 01, 2007 at 06:03
You know, i was just thinking about this story today, and then i got home and what was on my computer? A tracking alert saying that it had been updated. Perfet timing. And another brilliant chapter. I just had to ask though, in the last chapter, Zoisite had shot his arrow from a tree, hadn't he? And in this chapter he was on the ground. Unless I'm mistaken, which is rather likely...Can't wait for Raye and Jadeite to get together though - and even more, I can't wait for something to happen between Serena and Darien.
LOVE your stories by the way!
AriallaZarinth - Tuesday April 10, 2007 at 22:17
I really like how you're getting more and more people involved in Serena's faerie tale saving! And this chapter has such a cliffhanger ending, I really hope you get the next one out soon :)
Loki - Tuesday April 10, 2007 at 14:30
An excellent cliffy

WISE: a couple of little typos, (raised her crooked fingers
toward him as magic _cackled_ (I think you meant, 'crackled'? ^_^ at their tips. I only noticed a few little flaws like this and the colloquialism, / Off-of/ for this period of Grimme, jarred a little, but otherwise it was fabulous!

Highlights:

I love the darkness of this chapter, it was far more synister than I expected, the bare floors, the magic and the frightening powers of the old witches.

I thought you wove your own amazing magic here, the dialogue, images and color, drama and atmosphere was again an amazing stage upon which this story continues to delight! So spine tingling at the end there, and well done!

*hands you a crystal arrow and a moon rose*
jenna - Thursday April 05, 2007 at 15:00
NOOOO, you cant end a chapter like that. Its unfair, and makes me cry. i hate chifhangers but i love that way you did it. i really hope that the next chapter is out soon because you are a really great job on this story. This has to be one of the most original stories ive read in AI so far. Just keep writing this fabulous.
DreamCatcher - Thursday April 05, 2007 at 03:48
This story is amazing, which I'm sure you already know. I have read many fairytale fanfics, and yours is, by far, one of the best. Most fanfics of this genre fallow the original plot of the fairtale too closely, causing it to loose some of its appeal. Yours, however, is very orginal, and I love how you didn't make Serena Cinderella. (But maybe the she is the real world's version of Endymion's sleeping beauty? Which would be a great twist.) My biggest dissappointment: 30 chapters! I'm going to have to wait forever to get to the ending, but it will be worth it. Rushing the plot only ruins things. Update soon ^_^
mythling - Monday April 02, 2007 at 23:57
<3 story- can't wait to see which fairy tale comes next =D
Lucilla - Wednesday March 21, 2007 at 01:24
It's been quite some time since I last submitted a review to anyone (not since, LS's Merletto and CR's Wounded Souls - almost four years), but I feel compelled to tell you how wonderful this story is. First of all, I want to say that you are one of the reasons that keep me drawn to Sailor Moon fiction. As the years progress, I find it harder and harder to find quality stories in the fandom, but reading your work (both new and old) always seems to allow me to turn a blind eye to much of the poorly written stories of today. Yes, there are many quality authors (mostly on AI) who still continue to write SM stories or who have recently entered the fandom...however, the originality of your stories persistently outshines even the greatest of the new writers in the SM world (I say this with the utmost respect to new and old authors). Readers have no problem falling in love with your characters and relating to the worlds you put them in, whether they be fantastical (The House on Thornrose Lane), or contemporary (Next Time Take the Stairs), or senshi/youma filled (The Professional). Though there is a general tone of romance in your stories, the development of your plot and characters are always highlighted. This ensures that the characters don't fall in love too quickly; while at the same time skilfully creates realistic situations relevant to the readers. It is so common now for people to underestimate their reader's intelligence, but your commitment to authenticity is a breath of fresh air. I also love the detail that you've put into this Grimm Tale. Your writing beautifully describes the surroundings and people in your story with amazing detail, but not in a way that saturates readers with verbose sentences. Thus, allowing your readers to escape into the world you've created (by amply describing the setting) without boring them. On my constant search to find great SM fiction, I stumbled upon a thread at ASMR about “ The Next Alicia Blade / Lord Chaos.” If your continued distribution of incredible stories is any indication, it will be quite some time until that torch is truly passed to another. At any rate, I thank you for your contribution to the SM fandom and am looking forward to more chapters of The House on Thornrose Lane.
- Luc
astro - Saturday March 17, 2007 at 18:21
Cool :)
Can't wait for the next chapter! Good luck with it :)
crazzieblue - Saturday March 17, 2007 at 00:16
wow... and the plot thickens. I love the way the story is going, good pase and rythem. I know that sounds weird but you don't over load the chapter with action, just enough to leave us wanting more. I really really want to smack endymion upside the head but time will tell what happens to him. I look forward to the next chapter and can't wait! oh, and when will we meet briar rose and the next princess was introduced. I'm curious how you will weave her tale into the story with having the brief intro in there. Also, with the mention of Lita, will there be a happily ever after there? Oh and will you have the other "princesses" (Mina, Lita, the future Amy and Raye) have a larger part or just be (i don't want to say disapper because they didn't, just not be in the spotlight). Good Job!
Loki - Friday March 16, 2007 at 15:25
What an exciting chapter and well deserving of all the recent reviews

WISE: Alicia, you've created a fabulous chapter here, it is rich and powerful and the dialogue between Endymion and Serena is truly amazing and filled with angst and passion for the defense of love.

The imagery and characterisation blending so well together with the mythological tapestry and the clever realist tone of the characters like Endy and Sere, made it all the more engaging for thereader, and the reaction to cute Hota, by the dwarfs was a brilliant little moment, too.

Great job! *hands you a golden rose and a star sapphire and bows* L.
Isy - Friday March 16, 2007 at 05:13
AHH!!! How can he say that?!?! I can't believe Endymion said something so heartless. That got me a little teary eyed. Thank you for updating! This was another excellent chapter. The dialoge had so much passion and so much conviction, especially in the throne room. I look forward to ur next chapter!
cosmoscrystal - Friday March 16, 2007 at 03:21
AB, I think Serena needs to knock some sense into that prince. Havinf said that.......Fantstically written, as usual. I have absolutely fallen in love with the way you weave the senshi and the generals together. And your re-working of the fairy tales,leaves me breathless and wanting to read more. You are incredible! Hugs!
AllegoryPuck - Friday March 16, 2007 at 02:39
I love this story! It is entirely flawless in its unique plan and imaginative context. My only complaint is the slow rate of updates. I know that it takes time to create something this awesome but please update quickly!
Bakayaro - Friday March 16, 2007 at 00:09
Did Zoicite literally lose his eyes? Like they're just empty sockets?
AriallaZarinth - Thursday March 15, 2007 at 22:19
O what a wonderful chapter! From Zoicite, who is so filled with the strength and peace of knowing love, to the tension between Endymion and Serena... it is all so very well done. Write on!
Anonymous - Thursday March 15, 2007 at 21:55
Please write more soon! I can't bear to wait!
Anonymous - Thursday March 15, 2007 at 19:09
LOVED it! =] finally some really good melodramatic endymion/serena moments
Bakayaro - Saturday March 03, 2007 at 03:46
Ohmygosh! What a dramatic ending :O
I can't wait for the next update. Update soon okay, but don't rush; there's no pressure.
Isy - Friday March 02, 2007 at 17:53
Another great chapter. Thanks for updating!! I thought the dialog between Rini and Serina quite funny and witty. Rini is pretty smart in this endever and has a good head on her shoulders. Poor Zoicite. I hope everything works out in the end. I look forward to ur next chapter!
Loki - Friday March 02, 2007 at 13:48
How events twirl around like the sun, as night chases day

WISE, this was a dramatic littel chapter, one or two little flaws, but inconsequential.

I loved the humor of the first tail, pea and the princess, red-eyed, cute and gorgeous. The dialogue exchange between Rini and Serena was classically clever and very cute!

The tower, the armor, the secret room and the way the last scene rounded on Serena was skilfully done, the timing perfect... How will Serena fair in the next chapter? ^_^

Great job Ali-chan, as always! *hands you a mystical book and a crystal paper-weight with magical properties and bows* L. =^_^=
cosmoscrystal - Friday March 02, 2007 at 01:10
Well, wasn't that a fine kettle of fish? I think you are just doing fantstic with this rewrite on fairy tales. Looking forward to the next update! Hugs!
Isy - Saturday February 17, 2007 at 07:02
Another wonderful chapter. Bluebeard is scary. I've never actually heard of him before though. Was someone so horrible really in Grimm's book? Even though this was a wonderful chapter, I thought it was a bit short and lacked in action. I hope to read more soon!
AriallaZarinth - Wednesday February 14, 2007 at 23:24
Another chapter! A great Valentine's present. I like that you've brought Lita back into the picture, and that Endymion's wedding seems more imminent. It's gives a better sense of time than the faerie-tale-saving does.
I wonder, though, is Serena ever going to have any more difficulty saving a story? Things with Little Red Riding Hood and Bluebeard just went so smoothly.

I can't wait for the next chapter! Happy Valentine's!
Anonymous - Wednesday February 14, 2007 at 18:39
wonderful chapter!!! Hopefully it won't be such a long wait for the next one =] Happy V day!
Loki - Thursday January 25, 2007 at 17:37
Oh Alicia...pure magic, as always! ^_^

WISE, only one flaw, you had the incorrect, alright, should be all right. Otherwise, a star performance, as we come to expect from you!

Highlights:

The rich tapestry of lyric storytelling again captured my heart, the humor as Serena finds herself tackling thorn and underbrush to come upon an enigmatic little girl and the way you told the story, gave details that demonstrate how so much is left out of tale, folklore is but a fragment of the larger picture, it is its magic you show us behind the myths.

Vocabulary and use of language ever more glorious with every chapter, you are getting better and better as you go, but you have always been a most exciting and enchanting writer who can capture the heart, our imaginations and dreams and make them real somehow. Fabulous effort.

I loved the humor with Endymion, the dialogue so natural and witty, you really can weave a good yarn! Salutations! *hands you a basket of enchanted fresh blooms and winks* L.
AriallaZarinth - Wednesday January 24, 2007 at 06:05
As things play out between Serena and Endymion, I'm becoming most interested in how this will affect Serena and Darien.. assuming of course Serena makes it back to her world. But before that I'm sure we have many more faerie tales to fix, which you are still handling most excellently :)
Anonymous - Tuesday January 23, 2007 at 17:51
write more! write more!
jenna - Tuesday January 23, 2007 at 14:58
This was another perfect chapter. I didn't see anything that needed to be fixed, and i am falling more and more in love with this story as i read it. Please update soon.
Katrina - Tuesday January 23, 2007 at 08:11
I love it! Please continue soon. :)
cosmoscrystal - Tuesday January 23, 2007 at 03:31
AB, perfect marks on everything! I could find nothing you need to improve on. You are sheer perfection. And this chapter made my heart flutter! Hugs!
Anonymous - Tuesday January 23, 2007 at 00:58
haha aw chibi chibi <3
Anonymous - Monday January 22, 2007 at 23:26
ohmygosh. You won't make us wait too long for the next chapter, right? Because I'm holding my breath. Literally.
Loki - Thursday January 11, 2007 at 11:33
Enchanting, the images and the weaving of the tales are almost hypnotic

WISE, some contraction and punctuation issues, minor typo and grammar related things here and there, but over-all it was fabulous.

The last three chapters -- as with the entire story -- were filled with rich story telling magic and Serena has handled the situations she has faced pretty well, albeit at times walking a difficult tightrope.

I am really enjoying this mythical narrative and anticipating more. *hands you a basket of blood-red roses and a grin* L.
starryice18 - Tuesday January 09, 2007 at 23:16
Again, two more extremely good and well written chapters!!! I can hardly wait for the next ones!!!
AriallaZarinth - Tuesday January 09, 2007 at 19:41
Another lovely chapter. It's good that someone is finally questioning Serena's place there and what she's doing! I really like how you're tying all of these different faerie tales into one kingdom, one place. Keep up the great work :)
Isy - Friday January 05, 2007 at 05:54
Ahhh!! No, please don't blind zoisite! It would be so sad and Serena would be so overwelmed by guilt. This is another wonderful chapter. I loved everything about it. You're a wonderful writer. Thanks for updating and I'd like to wish you a happy new year! Please update soon.
Anonymous - Thursday January 04, 2007 at 21:36
lol this is brilliant! and kind of suspenseful in a fairy tale type of way. Great job!
Rakusa - Thursday January 04, 2007 at 08:24
It's getting juicy! I still can't wait though until she goes home and sees the *real* Darien again and finds out why he wanted umino to be his partner and if any time had passed while she was away!
spud - Thursday January 04, 2007 at 07:44
Not ANOTHER cliff-hanger! Oh well, I suppose it's to be expected. But each time I think I know something more and then I realize that I knew even less than I thought I did. What an amazing story though, and I can't wait for it to be updated and finished.
Isy - Friday December 22, 2006 at 15:57
Aww. I love this story. Its fun and well written. Endymion is a bit of a jerk. I also love how all the guys (Darien and the generals) are related. Love or happy endings are not as simple as fairy tails would have them. You definitely have to work for them.
Rakusa - Saturday December 16, 2006 at 07:33
I think I know where this is going... I've had ideas since the beginning about where Darien was going to show up and now I know what zoi is going to say, I think. I loved the dig about talking cats and life on the moon, it's precious because they live in a fairytale world and they wouldn't believe it? Plus it's a very cute pun.
spud - Saturday December 16, 2006 at 04:14
Oh, that is SO frustrating, being left at a cliffhanger-AGAIN! But that is an amazing chapter and an amazing story. I can't wait for the next chapter. I'm guessing (and hoping very strongly) that the princess Darien is engaged to is Amy, and that she and Zoicite have fallen in love, and so that leaves Darien free for Serena. Or at least I hope that's the case. Oh well, either way, that was wonderful, and I can't wait for another update.
strawberry - Sunday December 10, 2006 at 22:20
The story is amamzing...you have to continue, if u don't ill die honestly the characters r funny the description of everything is good and i like the change in the storys your an amazing writer keep wrriting
starryice18 - Friday December 01, 2006 at 19:30
Yay, another great chapter!!! :)
cosmoscrystal - Friday December 01, 2006 at 03:29
I'm going to die! The moment I have been waiting for and you leave me with a cliffhanger. . . . but a very wonderfully written cliffhanger. AB, you have the gift. Absolutely love your style. Can't wait for the update! Hugs!
Bakayaro - Friday December 01, 2006 at 01:48
Oh I'm so excited! I knew the son was Darien! :D I'm a little dissappointed that Lita and the prince didn't get together in this chapter. I'm looking forward for the next update. :)
mythling - Sunday November 19, 2006 at 01:11
=D Love it! Just read through the first 5 chapters and can't wait for the next one. I suppose we'll have to wait until nanowrimo is over though- good luck with that!
Anonymous - Friday November 17, 2006 at 16:35
Well, what an anti-climax. the knife and the slipper, Eeeeesh! But great job, some minor mistakes and things here and there in your story, but the scenes you painted in all the chapters so far, and the way the characters were presented was really good.
Looking forward to how she handles the twist. XD
starryice18 - Monday November 06, 2006 at 18:28
Yay, another great chapter!!!! I can hardly wait 'til the next one!! :)
AriallaZarinth - Sunday November 05, 2006 at 22:00
I really like that you based the Cinderella plot more off the original Grimms' tale than the Disney version. It makes more sense with your setting -- nice touch!
Good luck with NaNo.. I'm off to work on my 50,000 words :)
jenna - Tuesday October 31, 2006 at 16:41
Absolutely fantastic. I have not been this giddy about a story since I was 8. I love the way you write and the way the story is flowing.
Dreameress - Tuesday October 24, 2006 at 06:02
I LOVE IT!!!
Bakayaro - Saturday October 21, 2006 at 03:39
Oh! What a stupendous chapter. It was marvelous. :D I cant wait for the next update. Just a question, will Darien be appearing any time soon?
starryice18 - Friday October 20, 2006 at 13:48
Yay, another chapter!! Please keep them coming!!
magdalenna - Friday October 13, 2006 at 22:04
Ah,kao i obično tvoje me priče oduševljavaju!

Zaplet je fantastičan i drži me u neizvjesnosti
tako da jedva čekam novo poglavlje!

magdalenna
Loki - Tuesday October 10, 2006 at 18:40
Truly enchanting Ali, beautiful

WISE, I believe congratulations for The Proffessional & More Than Ice-cream (1st & 3rd) are in order. ^_^ It is well deserved and you have certainly earned it. You are a great mentor for new writers.

But I digress, this story was filled with beautiful images, the decor of the palace, Serena and her clothing, the world building skills you displayed, the cute little fairy and her persona.

You have the lyric style and skill to weave humor and beauty so cleverly with drama into the story -- only a mistress of storytelling could possess such a gift . Well done there.

The mirror scene. Seiya as a mountain of silence, tall and powerful, almost elemental a presence, forbidding and Serena beautiful and the contrast with Andrew a stroke of genius.

The grandeur and the mythic tapestry is wonderfully blended with the SM world, subtle and overt, a powerful narrative.

As the chapter opened, you sustained its tempo and affect as it lost nothing of its power and charm from chapter 2, indeed breathtaking. Simply magic! *hands you a basket of pink roses and a crystal tiara and bows* L.
misty_fur - Sunday October 08, 2006 at 22:49
Loved it. Interesting concept and I can't wait for the next chapter.
cosmoscrystal - Sunday October 08, 2006 at 01:08
This has been one of the best fairytales I have read in a long time . . .it's like a fairytlae for the new millenium. Excellent job, AB! Hugs! :)
AriallaZarinth - Sunday October 08, 2006 at 00:32
I like how you've incorporated names/faces from the canon, and also how Serena is supposed to "save stories." It's a cool thing to have a Chosen One to do. I can't wait 'til the next chapter!
starryice18 - Friday October 06, 2006 at 17:23
Yay, another great chapter!!!! Please write more soon; I love this story!!!
Anonymous - Thursday October 05, 2006 at 23:55
This fic is awesome!!!! AHH the suspense!!!!! I love fairytales
starryice18 - Monday September 25, 2006 at 17:37
Another great chapter; I do love fairy tales!!!! Please keep updating!!!
Rae - Monday September 25, 2006 at 14:00
oh my goodness, i just love fairy tales, and this story was just AWESOME!!! please update soon, your doing a wonderful job and i cant wait for more
whogirl - Sunday September 24, 2006 at 08:14
This is such a great story and I can't wait to read what happens next. This seems like such a wonderful plot idea and I really want to read more. :)
Loki - Saturday September 23, 2006 at 02:28
Alicia, oh what dreams have come true as the pen/keyboard reaches across the fantasy -- reality divide

WISE: Truly amazing, how often have we wished to step over the threshold into the realm of those tales and ponderings that within their shimmering weft have captured our imaginations, to play a part to contribute to perpetuate a tale so loved and alive as the dreamer, reader and character become one and thus unite in the magical -- fabulous jub Ali-chan!
*hands you a crystal queen and knight covered in purple blooms and bows*
Rakusa - Friday September 22, 2006 at 08:43
I'm interested to see if her actions have unexpected ramifications.
midnyghtskye - Friday September 22, 2006 at 03:08
I'm not entirely sure what's going on here, but I trust your judgment since all of your other stories have been amazing. I can't say that I'm not curious, however. Please keep writing!
selenity08 - Tuesday September 19, 2006 at 16:27
I've read all your wonderful stories, but this one is different from your usual genre, making it all the more exciting.
magdalenna - Sunday September 17, 2006 at 21:54
What Loki said. :)

and update soon!
M.
Rakusa - Friday September 15, 2006 at 03:15
I lovvvve it! I like the twists. It's a little how I would Brothers' Grimm would go and it has an odd taste of Narnia but it is totally a you story. If you want to qualify your statements, then go ahead and do it, it makes you happy then the more power to you. It would be a little stale if you didn't add descriptions and just stuck to one word statements. It was a little annoying with the ? marks everywhere but it wasn't too bad. I can't wait to see more of this story. I like the change with Melvin and Serena being friends (instead of Molly) and Darien not noticing her. I want to know why he chose melvin as a partner now. I've got an idea but I don't want to say it in case you change it. Please hurry, it's great!
Stormlight - Sunday September 10, 2006 at 15:23
Ahhh, you posted here, too! I'll have to keep an eye on it on this site, instead, since I frequent it more than ff.net nowadays.

You already know how much I like this story so no need to repeat the obvious. heh heh

Looking forward to another update!
Darrien_4_Serena - Sunday September 10, 2006 at 11:11
loved it xxx hope to see more

love D4S
RENA630 - Saturday September 09, 2006 at 04:42
Wonderfully written with vibrant details and realistic characters.

Honestly there isn't much I could correct you on except the following sentence "She was beginning to think that this man had nothing to tell worth listening to, but she didn't say that, either, even in her own head." Obviously if she had begun to thik about it, it was going through her mind to say it. You understand?

Alos, when the old man speaks about farytails for the first time ("He doesn't seem to get that there just aren't princes or princesses or magicians or guardians here. There isn't much of anything here.") I would have liked to see a reaction from Serena, something along the lines of "What is he talking about? Is he dillusional?". I believe that had I entered a strange house and that was the first thing that a person said to me I would have some sort of reaction.

Other then that I truely found it to be very well written and I especially loved the cliffhanger. Hope to see updates on this soon!

RENA
Loki - Friday September 08, 2006 at 19:53
Dare I say Alicia, picture perfect

WISE: only one typo I could find --before _your_ know it... one of my little pet dislikes is the stating of the obvious, whether it be just my sensibility or not, I find qualification of an obvious action a tad redundant. nodding or nodded qualifying with the following word usage _ his head_ or shrugged _his shoulders_ when just nodded or shrugged in each case would suffice. ^_^ also the reference to the man balding _on top of his head_ it might be nit-picking, but I fail to see why the obvious needs to be stated here. I chuckled to myself, asking -- where else would he be balding? ^_^ I hope this does not ruffle your feathers too much, I just find such things a little unnecessary.

Aside from those minor things, this chapter was flawless. The plot pure genius, images vivid, atmospherics and world-building (or transforming) skills fantastic. Characterisation was fabulous. Dialogue flowed nicely and the themes great.

Fantastic cliffhanger and a good shift in style direction for you as you do WAF fabulously, great to see you now exploring new frontiers of writing. I loved the kitten, the eyes and the symetry of the chapter was well structured. Another reason you are one of the best writers on site! *hands you a garland of enchanted roses and a little grey kitten and bows* L. =^_^=
celeste2 - Friday September 08, 2006 at 04:19
omg...thank u sooooooooooooooo much for continuing to write your work...u are absolutely amazing at writing, and your stories always seem to capture my attention...u rock!!!!!
cosmoscrystal - Friday September 08, 2006 at 04:04
aliciablade is back and she's bad! An absolutely fantastic start to your fairytale. I will definately be putting you on my update list! Writing, spelling. . . . everything, is perfect! Your editor is fab! :)
AuroraNight - Friday September 08, 2006 at 03:35
*squeals*

Alica Blade is baaacck!!
Now the fun can really begin...XD

What an fascinating plot! Where do you get these ideas, Alicia? Could you point in the direction of your muse? I want to have a nice chat with him/her:)

Seriously though, when I saw that you had a new story I started jumping up and down with happiness. And then when I read the summary, I got even more exited.

Then...I read the first chapter.

...Now it's all I can think about.

My head is just buzzing with where this story will go...How does Darien enter the story? Does Puss in Boots recruit him as well? Or will he become the 'Knight in Shining Armor' and rush to the fairy tale land when the 'Damsel in Distress' AKA Serena gets in trouble? Oh, the possibillities...

And, I have NEVER before seen a story where Serena is best friends with Melvin. Did you do that on purpose? Where are the rest of the scouts?

And...is this story going to be long? Oh, I hope so. I was looking for a new, romantic story and you are the answer to my prayers!XD

Just update soon so I can figure out the answers to all of my questions, ok?:)
midnyghtskye - Friday September 08, 2006 at 02:39
Oh I have always loved your stories and I'm so excited about this one! I can't wait to read more of it. You make your characters come alive like no one else! Keep it coming!
Bakayaro - Friday September 08, 2006 at 02:20
Oooh.. How interesting. I'm not really a good writer so I don't have any critques. I'm looking forward to the next update, and I'm hoping that we'll see more of Darien. :)
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