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Story: Water Droplets of Memory
Posted on Tuesday October 10, 2006 at 00:27 by Tesh-chan |  |
Main Characters: Ami/Amy
Genre: Action, Adventure, Drama, Romance
Rated: PG13 Status: Incomplete
Ami Mizuno has longed for one man only, Ryo Urawa. But, will their memories of each other disappear?
The paths of a police officer and a detective will be crossed, only to be split by a previous enemy of the Senshi with a twisted plan.
It's up to the Sailor Team to stop it.
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Thank you SO much to my Editors, and thank you for reading! ^^
Number of Chapters: 11 Total Size: 138k Word Count: 22,258
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 |  |  |  | The chapter was good. Just a little warning of timline and present vs. flashback. Got me though on pins and needles if Greg can get there in time to save Amy. |
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 |  |  |  |  | Loki - Friday November 02, 2007 at 16:50 |  |
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 |  |  |  | WISE: Chapter ten was a really interestingly action packed episode, in the story so far. There are two parts of the protagonist battling and I kind of hope the good part gets the upper hand, but she looks like she's in a spot of bother. ^^
Great characterization and visualization, (in the previous chapter 9, there was a couple of little typos, might be a good idea to go over it again and you will find these).
But the magical deception, and the condition of poor Ami, the themes of love, and courage, the symbolism and atmosphere you have created are awesome Tesh-chan! *roses and hugs you* |
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 |  |  |  | Fantastic! What a change from the first time I read it. I love your changes. Keep up the great work
csd |
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 |  |  |  | Oh I can't wait! I hope Greg can figure this out or willl he change into something else entirely? Omg cliffhanger! You're too good. ^-^ |
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 |  |  |  | Hurry Usagi you got to free Ami from the spell! Total recall power! kudos I am sitting on pins and needles. |
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 |  |  |  |  | Loki - Wednesday May 09, 2007 at 11:33 |  |
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 |  |  |  | A fascinating last couple of chapters Tesh!
WISE, a couple of little typos and such, but mostly flawless!
I really love how you've created the tension and working with the memory theme. The contrast of darkness and light and that line that blurs things you play so well... I am also fascinated by Galaxia's new found emotions, she is also a dappled figure, darkness and light mingle in a composite protagonist and I love that.
Good characterisation. The story telling is intriguing and you've not a thing to apologize for re the sensual and intimate scenes in the story as they are beautifully written and you ought to be proud. They were perfectly fine, and like all your writing, a joy to read -- you've a talent that weaves the kaleidoscope of human emotion, experience and intimacy and don't feel you have to curb the expression of your creativity when it moves through your writing hand. Write for you and how you feel -- keep that upper most in your writing, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're a gifted and fabulous writer and all power to you, Tesh-chan, so don't hold back on anyone's account, no good writer should, you're sensational!
Imagery, vocabulary, plot and structure are all first rate, the world you weave is potent and magical. I love the original flare you bring to the Senshi and the SM Universe, especially that battle between Galaxia and the Senshi with the actions of the unwitting Senshi of Water adding to the mix. Kudos! *glomps and a tux rose* =^_^= |
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 |  |  |  | Oh my stars and garters! I hope Planet Power can help bring back Ami's memories. As for Ryo it is like looking at Mamoru gett brainwashed and trying to piece the puzzles together. I Ryo will remember...the brain is a powerful natural tool in the universe. |
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 |  |  |  | wowwww
i love how you have combined the manga ++ the anime here.
and its a nice change to see an Ami story, and an excellent one at that
look forward to an update soon! ^^ |
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 |  |  |  |  | Loki - Thursday January 11, 2007 at 05:17 |  |
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 |  |  |  | An amazing paradox, the tragic impact of Ryo and his actions, and poor Ami, it was as if she found herself trapped in a surreal nightmare, I felt you captured the cascade of emotions perfectly in this chapter Tesh, the seduction and the hot material was almost lyric, it flowed beautifully. Galaxia and her reactions I love the direction you are moving in there, too! Another amazing chapter! *hands you a basket of hot-pink roses and bows* L. |
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 |  |  |  |  | Loki - Thursday January 11, 2007 at 05:00 |  |
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 |  |  |  | Wow Tesh, that was not only well written, but oh so hot as well!
WISE, perfect, only one typo: Ami could hear Urawa-kun clear his _troat_. (just a little thing, we all miss those) *winks*
I loved the characterisation, the way you wove the seduction scene so well. It was beautifully done. I love the way you portrayed Galaxia and her guise. The color and imagery fabulous and the Manga magic and all other SM influences a great confluence of talent flowing through your creative flare! Fantastic! *hands you a basket of roses and ccrystal pen and bows* L. |
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 |  |  |  |  | bin82501 - Sunday December 03, 2006 at 15:17 |  |
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 |  |  |  | I like this. What I love most is that you take anime and manga aspects. I think you have a good story going here and I hope you continue. |
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 |  |  |  |  | Anonymous - Monday November 13, 2006 at 12:23 |  |
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 |  |  |  | So Ace! I was in the Manga, an episode, it was that good, you put me there, the characters are great and the story is well written, love where you are going with this...Kudos girl! |
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 |  |  |  | I love it. Its wonderfully well-written, blissfully free of grammar or spelling errors. And you have a wonderful flow - it just keeps moving along smoothly with no plot bumps or problems. I also adore your extremely well executed (and consistent) use of Jpaanese honorifics and names. Its so nice to see them not mangled on occasion.
I'm sure its just me but I was a bit confused about the timeline, when exactly does it take place? I guess the first scene threw me for a loop. Other than that I enjoyed every minute of it. Keep going! I'll be waiting to find out what happens next. |
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 |  |  |  |  | Loki - Wednesday October 11, 2006 at 14:59 |  |
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 |  |  |  | Congratulations Tesh on a fabulous start and a great little story!
WISE: I was really impressed with the high standard of grammar, punctuation and other structural aspects of your first fic. However, just a couple of little things, never use punctuation marks in dialogue as multiples, (!! or the dreaded ?!, you only did this once with the double exclamation marks -- a habit to break from the outset as it tends to drag down a great story, but easily fixed in story manager. You can emphasise emotion instead by gesture and body language -- facial expression, eyes and sighsor slamming fists on a desk etc or describe the tone of voice. One last thing, never write, alright, it should always be written as two words, all right. ^_^ But apart from one or two little typos It was flawless.
Highlights
You have a great narrative style, it flows beautifully. The moods you set are excellent. Love your world building skills and the research into the Manga and PGSM influence I could see went into your work.
Your characterisation, now this is also a brilliant gift you have, to convey the persona of a character you have to get a sense of their presence and you do this seemingly with ease. Visualisation brilliant. the scene where Sailor Mercury saves the children. Also, the scene in the rain, the umbrella and the imagery and affect was really sweet and vivid.
I also loved the way you ended the chapter, on a cliffhanger and set things up for the next chapter.
You are also a wiz with words, you make them bend to your will so well. Your vocabulary is excellent. In all, a brilliant start, just a little tweaking on those points I suggested above, and it will shine even brighter.
A wonderful debut Lady Tesh-chan, I await more from your hand! *hands you a basket of shimmering dew-splashed blue roses and a sapphire tiara and bows* L. *winks* =^_^= |
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Sailor Moon FanFiction Stories © to their respective authors. No information must be taken from this site without expressed written permission.
Sailor Moon characters and images are copyright © 1992 Naoko Takeuchi/Kodansha, TOEI Animation. English Language Adaptation © 1995 DiC Entertainment.
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