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Not Logged InWednesday June 23, 2021 - 00:09
Article
Original:
Posted on Thursday November 02, 2006 at 19:12 by Aria
AIMod Download Enabled
Original Stories By Aria Genre: Fantasy

Rated: PG13
Status: Incomplete

This Story has been Queued for Removal


Number of Chapters: 13          Total Size: 271k          Word Count: 52,316

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LadySelenity - Sunday September 13, 2009 at 23:54
That was fabulous! I like the plot and the intermingling of mythical characters. . Little strange how Beth was sent away and not brought back and where did Mors go? Overall very well written. A pleasure to read!
Loki - Tuesday July 21, 2009 at 02:34
I'm innocent! I swear! I didn't do that to Ava! *hides in my temple in the Norselands* :P

Great chapter, lots of laughs, but the drama and magic were superb in this eighth encounter, now off to keep the fire nymphs up to date, Hmmmm, Loki has sooo much to do! *winks*
heaven85 - Wednesday October 29, 2008 at 03:58
I finally had a chance to finish reading this fic. I also totally agree that you should considering doing a sequel. The story was so well written and you ended it at a good spot where it could been seen as an end yet as a beginning for the sequel if you choose to write it.
StarGoddess - Friday October 10, 2008 at 02:34
Yes, I totally agree, there needs to be a sequel. And if you do not have time, and we can't convince you to loose sleep and work time for it, Lady D and I can write it for you, with your permission of course! ;)
LadyD - Tuesday September 30, 2008 at 00:00
I meant to say I hope you have plans for a sequal, please let me know if you do. Thank you! ^.^
LadyD - Tuesday September 23, 2008 at 03:44
I have plans for a sequal. It doesn't seem complete. perhaps a Goddess 101, now that she has taken Mors's position?
StarGoddess - Thursday September 18, 2008 at 18:59
WHAT?! No... It is complete, but I am not yet happy about the ending. I want more! No fair writing a cliffhanger at the end of the story. Are you going to continue? Are you going to write an epology, or a second story on Ava's search? I beg of you, please continue. *wink*
LadyD - Tuesday September 16, 2008 at 21:16
you find the most perfect places to end. I swear these clifhangers are going to drive me insane. I loved this chapter, and I'm extremely excited for the next one. I look forward to reading the ending whenever that may be. keep up the good work.
StarGoddess - Sunday September 14, 2008 at 23:34
I love your story! You are always imaginative, even giving the gods and goddesses their own human characteristics. Please continue, as waiting for the newest chapter every morning makes my day.
LunaCorn - Friday September 12, 2008 at 05:39
I absolutely adore reading this and can't wait to see where it is going to end up. You have a remarkable gift for imagery and story telling. Thank you for sharing.
LadyD - Friday September 12, 2008 at 02:12
I love this story and I beg you to post the next chapter soon! It's driving me insane not knowing whats going to happen next.
Skysong - Tuesday September 09, 2008 at 06:29
chapter 10 just makes you go AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

that's about as clear as my brain can put it at this hour. i pledge to WISE in the future, maybe when all the chapters are posted
heaven85 - Thursday September 04, 2008 at 05:30
Great work. I find the concept of the story very interesting. I enjoy finding more about her "other life". Can't wait to read what happens next.
Skysong - Wednesday September 03, 2008 at 06:55
It's so fun to read this again and get new chapters, but i'm afraid chapter three is missing. It's just chapter two again!
Loki - Saturday April 12, 2008 at 14:23
Definitely a great story, and I hope you continue with it as it is fascinating and aside from a few little typos, it is amazing!
Loki - Saturday April 12, 2008 at 14:04
I am up to chapter four, and I love the whit, the humor, and also, how effortlessly you shift the tides to a more dramatic and powerful element, that is a gift a lot of writers cherish and you've got it all covered, another great chapter, Jupiter's daughter, an endearing character. =^_^=
Loki - Saturday April 12, 2008 at 12:59
This story is so good, the more I read, the more I am taken into its wonderful crazy and hilarious universe

Flora, Fortuna and Venus, I bow down before thee in absolute mirth and story reverence, such a lot of fun! And, beautifully written. :D
Loki - Saturday April 12, 2008 at 12:30
Richly realistic and steeped in fantasy all at once

WISE, only one flaw, the 'alright' contraction, but writing at speed through Nano... it's an easy oversight, but otherwise, one or two missing little words, it was fabulous!

The first person POV you command so well, I like the place behind the eyes as a reader, you evoke so many memories of childhood and school days, I laughted a lot at the dialogue and the images of exam time, the stunts of Beth were a classic.

Ava's mother, I thought really sweet, and I could also see the love and good cheer between mother and daughter. Breakfast and the inner dialogue was impressive and most entertaining.

The fantasy aspect, now there's a punctuation point of the consumate storyteller if ever I saw it, and y0ou conveyed the images of invisible merging the realm of the fantastic with the stressful realism of finals.

Congrats on a great first chapter Lady AI! *hands you a crystal pen and a shopping voucher* LOL *winks*
AmusingChild - Saturday July 07, 2007 at 21:57
So this was for NaNoWriMo??? Wow, that's astounding. I think I am going to be doing that. I have a club where we participate in and help eachother along the way.
I love the creativity that took to develop this plot. It's a very well written story and you should be proud!
dania_knight02 - Thursday April 26, 2007 at 03:29
Whoops, I made an error. That part about "Ava's trying to convince herself that Juno isn't as bad as the dryad makes her seem." -I just meant how did she try to convince herself? Minus all that dryad stuff. I don't even know how that got in there. Hm.

Oh and I guess I asked more than one question in the end. Hehe. More for you to think about!
dania_knight02 - Thursday April 26, 2007 at 03:24
I'm not sure how I'd feel if I just chose to sacrifice myself instead of the love of my life or my mother and then find out Morta's as cuddly as my teddy bear. It was a nice surprise to know that she didn't have to chose after all.

Morta also sounds like a softie. For some reason she reminds me of Edna Mode from the movie, The Incredibles. Probably because Morta sounds like she's a tiny person packed with incredible power for people to be afraid of her.

The part when Ava is rambling about why Morta couldn't ask her about hobbies? That part really stood out to me for some reason. I love how Ava thinks and spazzes out because I can relate so much to it.

"No one's ever done something ilke that for me."-I found Noah coming into this chapter just a little cheesy like out of a movie. I just thought it was obvious that no one has ever done something like that for him because it's never happened before? How many times has he been saved when someone tried to cut off his thread? He wouldn't know. Even though I know how traumatic is must have been for him to see Ava and then have her disappear into some alternate dimension for a hot second, I thought the whole kissing-omg-hug hug- part was overdone. I could imagine the two of them in my head and it's almost like any other fic or movie with two people.

His question about them being related was funny. It was a good question to ask because they just kissed. =)

The dryad in the tree is great. I love how the whole conversation was linked back to Venus not getting along with dryads. I can definitely understand why now.

Ava's trying to convince herself that Juno isn't as bad as the dryad makes her seem. How is she doing that at the end of the chapter? Is she just telling herself that over and over?

Overall, I like the originality of this. It's different. Normally I don't like stories that are in first person and even try to avoid them. This one kept me hitting the next chapter button because I wanted to know more about what was going on. It kept me in suspense and perplexed. It's cool because Ava is suppose to be your average typical high school girl, but she isn't. I love how she thinks and how she's not just some character on a page. She really pops out and isn't boring. She's a refreshing character.

...I also like Noah too. Only for his hotness though. Bwaha.

I do have one question though. Why doesn't Ava's mom remember much about Jupiter? How is it that she was able to see him in the first place? Was it because he made himself present in their world? How did she even find out that he was a god?

Okay, there goes all my reviews I promises! I hope that was somewhat helpful.

<3!
dania_knight02 - Thursday April 26, 2007 at 02:54
You completely caught me off guard with Ava's dad being Jupiter. I was wondering how she could have been a demi-goddess.

Sex with a god..that was funny. I think the same exact thoughts would be running in my head as well.

What I don't get is why would they get fried if they tried to go talk to Jupiter?

Venus sending them to the beach seemed like fun. The waiters being eye candy? Loved it.

In the end, I liked how Morta made Ava choose between her mother or Noah. Choosing her mother was a good choice because, well it's her mom. Difficult decision. I also had a feeling that she'd choose to sacrifice herself in the end.
dania_knight02 - Thursday April 26, 2007 at 02:29
I like Ava's natural gut reaction to Venus when she showed up. I'd be pretty jealous too if the goddess of love was within five feet of my main squeeze. The description of how she felt was well written and even made me feel envious.

Is the magazine really called Teen Cosmo? Because I know the teen Cosmopolitan is called Cosmo Girl. =)

"Noah smiles mysteriously at me and I can't help but think that there is something planned that I don't know about."-Was there something really planned? I kept thinking about that as I read the chapter. At first I thought it was a surprise birthday party.

Noah's coughing fit? Was that the goddesses at work?

And that whole Noah leaning in and only giving her a dry kiss..tsk, you suckered me in. I kept thinking: KISS KISS KISS! Sigghh.

I'm also really glad that Ava said all that was missing was pizza and Beth. She didn't forget about her best friend even though the whole day had been chaotic. =)
dania_knight02 - Thursday April 26, 2007 at 02:14
"With a little luck and our determination to shop, yeah; we'd make it here just fine." Even though it's grammatically correct, something could be done to get rid of the semi-colon. I think the sentence could be arranged and written without it. I don't know why, but the semi-colon just bothers me.

The word, "spanktastic"..I love it.

"Something tells me this is going to be a fabulous summer"-Do I sense a bit of foreshadowing here? With a green eyed hottie? I really hope so because now I'm all curious and anxious for Ava's summer to come.

I found the goddesses hilarious especially because Ava is the only one who can see them. They're quirky, funny, and arrogant like goddesses should be.

I found myself nearly laughing out loud when Ava tells them to shrink her chest back to normal size. =)
cittykat21 - Thursday April 26, 2007 at 02:02
An original plot. Yay! This is a great story, so very amusing. Made my illness induced bad day a whole lot better! Thank you!
dania_knight02 - Thursday April 26, 2007 at 01:45
Hi Aria. Here's your promised review. =)

When I read, "I'm being silly, of course. But it's not everyday a daughteróbut I'm babbling again," I thought she could have babbled a little more. I went back to re-read it and that's when I found myself liking how Ava finds her mother's actions predictable. I thought it was funny because I made a connection from my own life with hers.

"Who wear a toga in this day and age except maybe drunk frat guys?" -'Wear' should be 'wears'

The whole good bye high school thing, I think it could have evoked more feelings from me. Unless she had a terrible time at that place for five years, I think part of her would be nostalgic and miss it. Sometimes it's not missing the school, but the people.

My favorite part was the analogy about jumping from bunny slippers to Manolos. I don't know if it's because I have a fetish for shoes, but I can easily imagine it in my mind. I picture little cute bunny slippers being associated with youth and Manolos..well, more womanly and dangerous.
Sailor_Angel - Saturday December 30, 2006 at 10:05
Aria! Reading this made me laugh. It's smart, quirky, and entirely fun. I really hope you continue this, even if NaNoWriMo's over. There was one typo in the second chapter I think, first paragraph, when they go to out favourite shopping mall when it should be our, but that's just minor stuff.
heaven85 - Tuesday November 14, 2006 at 02:37
Great idea for a story. I'm very interested in reading more.
Skysong - Saturday November 11, 2006 at 06:36
Ohhhhh....

after reading what this monthly goal and 50,000 word thing was...this makes a whole lot more sense.

I just had you bookmarked for anything new you posted, so when i started to read this story at first it suprised me. The first chapter seemed to be missing just a tad of...the polished beauty that usually come from your pen. for an opening chapter, it didn't have the same level of pull and sucking the reader's interest in. By the second chapter that got better and i felt as the reader that it was more compelling and could really look forward and yearn for more.

i think your plot/topic was a really smart choice. it's light and silly and fun to read... so i assume that as the writer, this will help you as the author have fun, not get bogged down, and crank out a set number of words. As someone who has serious psychological and emotional writing block issues i find it impressive that even though you don't have perfectionist Aria turned on all the time for this project the level of writing is still very high and excellent.

*cheers you on* keep up the good work, and looking forward to more
galena_steel - Thursday November 09, 2006 at 13:30
That's so original! I loved reading it. The characters are well built and adorable. If anything they are too perfect. I especially liked the point of view you chose. It makes Ava really close to the reader and pulls us along with her as she goes through her rather crazy day. Any other pov would have been much less effective. I love how clean and fun to read your writting style is and how easy and natural your dialogues are. They just flow. My only query is Ava seems to be made of pretty strong stuff? If I was her, I'd be much more ready to break down than to go out on a date. But, even so, so much fun! Thank you!
Rae - Wednesday November 08, 2006 at 17:50
GREAT story so far, please update soon
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