Main Characters: Mamoru/Darien, Usagi/Serena|
Genre: Adventure, Drama, Romance
Serenity Vanderbilt had everything. She was rich, intelligent, beautiful and was engaged to the most powerful man in all of London. But Serenity found herself wanting more. She wanted true love and passion.
When Serenity finds her Grandmother's old necklace, she is transported back into a time where one Prince ruled the entire planet Earth. Will Serenity find what she's looking for in a world that's not hers?
Number of Chapters: 12 Total Size: 195k Word Count: 34,650
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|Anonymous - Wednesday July 22, 2015 at 05:08|
Oh gosh! It is lovely to read this once again, and the new chapter I really did enjoy so much
Story's just warming up, looking forward to reading more of it hon
|WildCat - Saturday August 16, 2014 at 16:49|
I can't wait till the next chapter comes out. I'm sure as time goes along, Endymion will smarten up.
Whoa, that was sudden.
I couldn't help but snicker at Serenity's predicament after she sent the servants away. That "couldn't they do anything on their own?" line kind of came back to bite her. And then, to be stuck in that situation with him! It was a good setup and I enjoyed the way their flirtation played out with him "accidentally" brushing her back.
Buuuut I have to be honest, I'm having really mixed feelings about Endymion at this point. Serenity's clearly attracted to him in a way that she isn't attracted to Seiya, but... all his good looks and prowess don't excuse the blatant lack of respect he's shown her up to this point. To have touched her that way without her permission, after barging into her room uninvited, was pretty brazen, and then, when she asked him to stop, responding with what amounts to "you know you wanted it." Erm. Rape culture much?
I don't say this to bash you, the author. It's totally realistic that an entitled male in his time period would behave that way. Loving the story... just not the character so much. He's going to have a long way to go to redeem himself after that. One thing that gives me a little bit of hope is that it doesn't seem like he planned the whole thing. So maybe the gift of the dress was a sincere one? That, and the library, and the fact that Grandma Rose was willing to vouch for him, make me think he has the potential to be more than a self-centered chauvinist. On Serenity's side, she seems really confused about what she wants out of life in general, and the whole healer business is just going to complicate things further. But in spite of everything she's shown remarkable strength so far. I really like her, and right now I feel like she's too good for Endymion. :P
On a more positive note, it was fun to read your descriptions of her room and the castle. And Raye. I love your Raye so much.
Looks like you've posted a new chapter, so I've got some catching up to do! Off to chapter 5!
|WildCat - Saturday March 08, 2014 at 17:52|
I can't wait for the next chapter to be out, I'm soo hooked on this.
|Anonymous - Sunday February 09, 2014 at 12:31|
a nice bridge, but dear, please find yourself a BETA to fix the minor grammar and punctuation, you'll find it will make the story better flowing and easier to read, good effort though ^_^
The plot thickens! That portrait was a surprise! So it looks like Serenity isn't the only time traveler... for a second I was afraid she was going to end up being her own grandmother or something, but maybe that's not the case. XD
And Endymion continues to be stubborn. I enjoy how you're building the tension between them in spite of their bad first impression. I like how you gave her a little glimpse of him through the library.
On a side note, I absolutely love your portrayal of Raye. She's calm, collected, and smart, but still has her inner fire. In many ways I feel like she carried the story in this chapter. She brings the perfect balancing note to the slightly dissonant chord of Serenity and Endymion.
Toward the end of the chapter there were a few sentences which in my opinion could be thinned out. For example, in the Endymion POV portion while he was watching Serenity sleep, you probably didn't need to recap Raye's opinion since we just heard it in the previous scene. The last sentence may not be necessary either--you've built plenty of suspense with the plot, no need to add such teasing phrases.
Wonder what's going to happen when she wakes up... Looking forward to reading more!
|Nich - Sunday April 21, 2013 at 19:49|
Great story! I am eagerly waiting for an update!
Geez, Endymion! You didn't have to go all Patriot Act on her. I suppose I should cut him some slack since he is a medieval monarch of a country at war, but... doesn't he know that information acquired under duress isn't reliable? :P Poor Serenity! She knows her story sounds crazy, but what was she supposed to do?
And whoops, looks like I was wrong about the time period. Well, now I know. Speaking of time periods, I noticed one teeny tiny historical nitpick: Raye says it's the year 1010, but you mention wrought iron and crystal chandeliers, which I believe didn't appear until the 18th and 16th centuries respectively. But really, who cares? Chandeliers are pretty, and the Silver Millennium in the original series was not without its share of anachronisms.
Glad to see you kept the s**tennou as Endymion's guards. I hope we'll see more of them in the upcoming chapters! Raye's relationship to Endymion is a neat twist. I really like your portrayal of her. The back-and-forth between Serenity and Endymion brought to mind Usagi and Mamoru's first season antics. Ah, nostalgia.
Aaaand it's almost one in the morning so I think I'd better end this review. Thanks for creating such a fun story!
I can tell this is going to be a fun read! Your heroine is immediately likeable; she seems like a sensible and intelligent, if slightly naive young woman. I feel for her plight. She's aware that she doesn't love her fiance, but still goes along with what's expected of her because she doesn't know what else to do... It's very telling, how shallow her understanding of Seiya's character is. She can tell he cares about her, and that he's rich, and therefore a "good match." (I'm guessing this takes place in an era when marriage was pretty much a woman's only means of social mobility?) But the only reasons she can come up with that she doesn't love him are his eyes and hair. That to me suggests that she may not exactly know what love is, but she knows that this isn't it. There's some room for her to grow as a character. In a good way.
Overall, the imagery is well-done and the story flows well. I really like the way you use Serenity's room as a reflection of her life, the way she feels trapped. And then your description of the river makes a refreshing contrast.
There are definitely some standard romance-novel tropes here which--I won't lie--pinged my cliche-dar* at first. The rich heiress, longing for passion, unhappy in an arranged marriage thing has been done before. But you've pulled in elements of fantasy and mystery that keep it interesting: the necklace and the matching symbol on the tree, Serenity's sudden blackout, and now the entrance of this blue-eyed stranger. Though, of course, we all know who that is, right? Looking forward to reading the next chapter!
*Cliche-dar = an over-cynical fanfiction reader's instinctive tendency to write off any story that contains a familiar plot element (i.e. any story ever written) as a cliche. See also: Hipster
PS Sorry if it sounded like I was trying to project my analysis onto your story. These are all just guesses, of course.
|Anonymous - Wednesday March 06, 2013 at 03:26|