I am impressed.
I love your style of writing, very good vocabulary, imagery I am particularly taken with your flare for originality; something very close to my own writing heart.
I think some small tweaks needed for dialogue tags, watch extraneous information there- (my BETA brain kicking in :D), but seriously, this is good, and though you've used some well trodden plot devices.
I love what you've done here and,again, wonderful debut! Keep up the good work!