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Not Logged InMonday September 27, 2021 - 05:13
Article
Story: Tic-Tacs
Posted on Thursday August 01, 2002 at 17:45 by ladysolo
AIMod Download Enabled - Click to Download
Members Stories Season: Alternate Universe
Main Characters: Mamoru/Darien, Usagi/Serena

Genre: General, Romance

Rated: PG
Status: Completed

This Story has been Queued for Removal


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Number of Chapters: 1          Total Size: 45k          Word Count: 7,912

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ladymooncat - Friday March 21, 2008 at 11:43
Oh I loved it! Stories like that really make my day ^^
The repetition of the tic-tac line is very effective, the ending is adorable and the story itself is overall thoroughly enjoyable.
And my birthday is Jan 19 also, which make me like it, if possible, even more =D
Lady_Baine - Monday October 30, 2006 at 14:43
I just finished reading your fic and I must say that after reading it, I'm in a nice, languid mood. Maybe it will allow me to drift off into sweet, sugar-coated dreams soon?

Anyway, I really like you repeated the same line over and over. We came to expect it and it established a routine. I LOVE how you sucker-punched us with the line at the end. I saw foreshadowing earlier. Darien couldn't say that he loved Sere, but he sure did love his Tic-Tacs! I love how at the end, you slammed us and let us know that this is exactly what you intended. All this time, there was a double-meaning to the phrase.

As much as I loved this refrain, the sentence structure itself bothered me a little:

~~~~~"...I can't live without them." He said it with such a serious tone, she knew that he was jesting.~~~~~

If you ever go back to edit this, I would put a period or a semi-colon between "tone, she" rather than the comma currently in place. It just really stuck out. I saw a couple of other minor things in the piece, but they were easy to overlook and move on from. It was harder to do so with this because the line is so integral to the piece itself. It got really jarring.

[Same thing at the end when you change the line up a little:
~~~~~He said it with such a serious tone, she didn't know what to make of it. ~~~~~]

I really like the TONE that you used in this piece. I liked the funny moments [For example, Serena joking about mace at the end]. I liked the repetoire that you built between the characters. You built a history--they KNEW each other. The nicknames, the familiar phrases...everything. I really like how you played that aspect of your story. It gave it an extra layer and is part of what made the story truly special.

Finally....because I *AM* a sap.....

I ADORE the last time he made the comment. I LOVE what you did with that moment. I think that's why I'm in such a bubbly mood now. That moment made me melt.


Anyway, I'm sorry that I wrote a really long review. Well, more like a series of nonsensical comments. I like to talk to much. I only write reviews when I have something to say, though. It's meaningless to reply to something with a one-liner if you don't have anything to say. Ahh..it's hard to explain. Anyway..thank you for reading this far. Also, thank you for posting this story for us all to read! ^_^
galena_steel - Thursday October 26, 2006 at 14:16
Wonderful story. I love the tic tacs - such a delicious treat! I liked the use of dates to make things clear (though I kind of had to guess on the sophomore, junior thing - the only one I know for sure it senior is the last one!) And I liked the dialogue - very natural and sweet. Thank you!
Dirinu - Monday September 26, 2005 at 03:52
That was an incredibly sweet story, although too brief! You have wonderful talent! More writing and more romance please? I'd like another helping!
cosmoscrystal - Sunday September 04, 2005 at 03:40
I loooooooooooved it! I just love Serena and Darien love stories. You are truly gifted. Keep up the good work. :)
cittykat21 - Friday July 29, 2005 at 03:56
That's so cute.
Ronnie - Monday October 04, 2004 at 17:56
It's so cute...
SilverRaven - Sunday August 08, 2004 at 20:15
Loved the story. Very original plot girl. Keep it up.
ClaidiWinter - Thursday July 29, 2004 at 06:16
Wow. I haven't been this excited while reading a fic in forever. It was the sweetest thing... I won't say that I've ever read, I've read some pretty mushy stuff, but it's up there with the "OH MY GOD I WANT TO GET MARRIED NOW!" stories. I was a bit confused as to how Greg could have known Serena since she was in the sixth grade, as she moved there her freshman year, but I loved that the teachers were in on it. I also enjoyed them being the same age, (Darien a little younger?) I felt as though they held a closer bond that way.

Though I am not one of the three who get the inside joke, I love the tictac line in every insertment. I can guess that what he meant was "I love you Serena, I can't live without you." and she didn't believe it for years, and when she finally did, the line changed. I love patterns like that, they really add to the story.

Great job overall, really. I suppose I should listen to the masses and take the time to read more of your stories! Haha but not before I finish Daisy Miller and this God forsaken AP lit essay.

OH, PS, if you ever edit this, for some strange reason the first letter of a few of the shorter words were cut off. Like 'face' and 'be'. I don't know if this was because of a typo or loading problems, just thought I'd mention it.

~Claidi
Beautiful_Dreamer - Thursday July 29, 2004 at 03:47
This story is just adoreabley cute. I just love the symbolisom and characters... *sighs dreamily* Ah, sweet love...
Lavendermc - Wednesday July 28, 2004 at 06:41
I absolutely looooooooooooooooooooooooooooved this story!!! Keep writing, you're style is wonderful!
numbersmfan - Monday July 26, 2004 at 21:53
This story is very sweet. I loved it!!!!
lyss - Sunday May 16, 2004 at 10:21
BEAUTIFUL!! subtle, ummm...gosh! i can't describe it but i noe i loved it!!!
Adamina - Monday April 26, 2004 at 00:00
Yay! Usagi and Mamoru forever!

*cough* Anyway, I loved your story! I love stories in that aspect, but because you have such an excellent talent to writing your story becomes even more enjoyable. There is nothing like bad writing to ruin a good plot.

I especially enjoyed the entire tic-tac view that it was based on. Every time he said it it sounded just so sweet and made the story --and the ending-- that much better. Thank you for a great read.
Soluna - Wednesday April 07, 2004 at 13:16
its so sweeeeeeet!!!! i love this story! its so amazing and cute and sweet!!
browneyes - Tuesday October 07, 2003 at 03:01
I realized that I've never written a review for this story! So I think I'll do it today. You have no idea how much I enjoy your stories. This was the first story that I had read from you and I thought it was so creative. Tic-tacs!! All I got to say is I really think your an amazing writer and absolutly brilliant. Thanks for for the stories.
serenasangel - Saturday September 13, 2003 at 18:05
its was so sweet!
Lyna - Tuesday August 19, 2003 at 04:38
Your story is inspiring! It's one of those stories that simply makes your heart melts. Thank you for writing it. I admire your works. =)
c_futt1214 - Monday August 04, 2003 at 03:47
This is a great story! I was crying for happiness....it's is so sweet almost like a fairytale...::sighs::
Violet - Monday March 03, 2003 at 01:33
Oh, I love the story, it's sweet.
Emythenia - Tuesday December 24, 2002 at 03:19
This story came at a perfect time! Right when i need a WAFF fic! Good job LS!
Anonymous - Thursday October 24, 2002 at 03:32
i see how it is!! your on this and not aim so you can avoid me??? jk!! get your aim up and running so i can talk to you. this is crazy, but i've been sitting here reading these stories just about every nite. What's happening to me?? haha. ttyl
musiknutt3
Anonymous - Friday October 18, 2002 at 03:52
awesome story ladysolo from the tower of terror. sorry about all the crap i gave you earlier!! you know it was me (with no alcohol in my bloodstream) can't wait for biglots tomorrow!! so why are you taking a poetry class and not the short story class?? Good one!! ttyl.
MusikNutt3
Anonymous - Thursday October 17, 2002 at 14:34
Great Story I wish Darien was not an animation and attended College with PVE.. now you know who is writing ... Tic-Tacs is one of your best short stories, and I know there will be so many more in the future... especially a comedy.:)
SilverRunningWater89 - Monday September 30, 2002 at 03:44
I've like read this story 5 times and I love it! 10 awards go to one of the best authors! *bows and does a magic trick. boom! out of the hat comes an award for ladysolo!* enjoy it and keep writing!
Homie_G_Skillet - Sunday September 22, 2002 at 07:13
That was just so sweet! I loved it.
Anonymous - Sunday September 01, 2002 at 17:22
Aww, that was so cute*
Keep up the great work!
Anonymous - Saturday August 17, 2002 at 08:27
WOW, that was so nice. Kawaii!!

Keep up the good work
Tsuki1 - Saturday August 17, 2002 at 07:49
*eyes widen*
That was so kawaii!!!!!!!! *sigh* ill never look at tic-tacs the same again *giggles*
You truly are a great writer! I hope you write more of anything soon coz ur sooooo talented i just know itll be great ^_~ Keep up the great work!
~Tsuki1~
Stormlight - Saturday August 17, 2002 at 05:18
I LOVE this story! I think I reviewed it on ff.net, too, but I just had to tell you again how fantastic I think this story is. ^_^
Anonymous - Friday August 16, 2002 at 20:54
What a wonderous story, as an Editor myself, I was just wondering who looked over this glorious story for you, I hope it was P..V..E.. Well, you have some serious skills, I can't wait till you hit the book shelves, make sure that you inform everyone when your first book comes out I would like a copy:)
Anonymous - Friday August 16, 2002 at 20:51
What a great story, I can't believe that someone could actually think of such an involved plot. Did this happen to you during your school years? If so the guy that impacted your views must be one heck of a hunk, and a sweetie. Jaina, I have to write some more reviews so I'll comment later.

LMHS
ChibiJ - Friday August 02, 2002 at 02:25
That was beautiful! So sweet. But, probably like many others, I wish I knew the inside joke. Ne-how, that was a great story and you are a wonderful writer!
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