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Story: The Switching of a Princess
Posted on Sunday October 13, 2002 at 04:07 by Stargirl |  |
Rated: PG13 Status: Incomplete
Two weeks after the twin moon princess' were born, the one Princess Serenity was stolen in the night. Quietly the member's of the moon council are called to a secret emergency meeting and discuss the turn of events. The prophicised princess of peace- gone? The outcome would be terrible when the people found out. Coming to the conclusion to the answer of the problem, they agreed to say that it was Persaphone, Serenity's identical twin sister, who was stolen. Persaphone wasn't as important, not enough to cause rouble. Giving an oath of secrecy that the information was never to leave that room, they departed. Sixteen years later, the spoiled princess is assassinated, and once again they find themselves faced with the same situation, but there was no way out of it this time...or maybe there was... Seeing the mysterious orphan girl who looked remarkably like their princess, the answer was all to clear.
Number of Chapters: 3 Total Size: 54k Word Count: 9,730
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 |  |  |  |  | dani8951 - Monday December 07, 2009 at 02:38 |  |
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 |  |  |  | omg i love this strory please update!!!!!! |
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 |  |  |  |  | Anja - Sunday June 11, 2006 at 17:40 |  |
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 |  |  |  | Hmm, I see that you have not updated this story in some time, or gotten any reviews on it. I don't know if you're still planning on working on it, but if you do decide to one day continue, you may want to go back and fix up some grammar and the structure of your sentences. For example,
"One giggled and begun chasing a butterfly..."
It should be "began" not "begun." Also:
"Its body held curves of that of a woman, and her skin was a dark olive tan."
This sentence doesn't sound right. It should be more along the lines of :
"The figure had the curves of a woman, and her skin was tanned a dark olive colour."
Anyway, if you do ever return to continue this story, I suggesting editing it a bit. |
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 |  |  |  |  | Genie05 - Sunday September 25, 2005 at 20:23 |  |
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 |  |  |  | I read chapter 3 on your homepage and enjoyed it but I am wondering what will happen. How will the scouts and Endymion react to a vastly different Serenity? I hope that you update soon! |
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 |  |  |  |  | Lissa - Friday February 11, 2005 at 02:20 |  |
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 |  |  |  | Very good, Stargirl. Wonderful, detailed descriptions, especially in the ending of Chapter 2. I didn't spot any major grammatical errors or anything else like that. Everything seemed fine to me. But it's Artemis, not Artimas, like CR said. Oh, one thing more. Nothing bad on your part, but I noticed that there was a strange wrapping of the text in one of the chapters; I'm not sure which one exactly. It happened only a few times, but it's something that kinda interrupts the flow of the words. I'm really excited to see where the story's going, so please update soon! ^-^ |
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 |  |  |  |  | jennie - Sunday December 26, 2004 at 20:15 |  |
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