Story: For Sale|
Posted on Tuesday October 22, 2002 at 06:48 by ChibiJ
Winner: Most Recommended Story - February 2005
Season: Alternate Reality
Main Characters: Mamoru/Darien, Usagi/Serena
Genre: Angst, Drama
Times have changed and females aren't exactly treated the way they used to be. But how can one female and her male owner change the way the world works?
Number of Chapters: 9 Total Size: 273k Word Count: 49,538
| Read |
|Monolo - Tuesday May 24, 2011 at 02:14|
This story is intriguing! Such a shame that you had to leave us right at the potential bridge towards reforming this rather brutal society. I have to admit, I am curious as to how you will continue this adventure - juggling Usagi's pregnancy with the utter chaos surrounding their life, etc.
Please update soon!
|Anonymous - Wednesday August 11, 2010 at 22:02|
I hope you haven't forgotten about this story. It was so heartbreaking to see that Chika died for she was so young and innocent. I loved what you did so far and even though there are grammatical errors and spelling errors, this story is not hard to love.
I really hope you continue soon!
|xxangelxx - Tuesday November 07, 2006 at 01:56|
hey i love you story omg i cant wait for you next chapter
Oh man, do you know how much I love your story?
Well, let me count the ways=]
1) The plot.
Could it get any more original and unique than this? I don't think so. Slavery of women...wow, you're brilliant. After reading your story it just seems like it should be a obvious idea, yet no one has done it before. Your plot raises so many questions, as well as sympathy for the women who were subjugated to slavery both in the past and the present. I love stories that touch me on a personal level and this one does since I can only imagine, as a girl, what a life it would be to be owned by men. Kudos to you for your originality!
2) The Characterizations
I love Usagi and all but I think that in this story, Mamoru definitely takes center stage. Many stories feature Usagi worshipping the ground Mamoru walks on since apparently he's the perfect man yet very few of those stories actually elaborate on what's so great about him, besides his smokin' good looks. Due to the extreme circumstances in your story we're really able to see his true inner goodness and you really do describe him beautifully. Your Mamoru really is the perfect Prince Charming.
Along with Mamoru, another wow characterization is Beryl. I also love stories that suprise me and Beryl definitely contained the biggest shockers, first with her betrayel and then with her remorse. You actually portrayed Beryl as a human, with faults and weakness, but like all humans the capacity to do good.In the end, I actually pitied her.
Trust me, if I 'm actually pitying Beryl that definitely means your story is pure magic.
3) Imagery and Scenery details.
Every word is precise. Every emotion is vivid. You're amazing, you know that right?
Your story astounds me. I can't decide whether to love you for writing such an amazing story or hate you for writing such an amazing story(just cause I'm really jealous!)
I'll decide on love...for now:P
As made obvious by my ridiculousy long review, I REALLY hope you can update soon!
(PS~Sorry that I couldn't provide any inspiration!)
WOW!!! That is really good!! I can't wait to read on!!!
|lydials - Monday December 26, 2005 at 02:27|
This story is amazing. Your characterization is awesome -- great job making these familiar characters your own! And your plotline is, of course, delightfully original, the language with which you relate it touchingly emotional. Some of the spelling and grammar could use a little polish, but I tend to be anal in that area, and it's easily overlooked anyway because your story is so good! Fantastic job!
|Anonymous - Thursday December 15, 2005 at 10:36|
brilliant is all i can say. Well I can say more but in a word...brilliant.
I proably have reviwed this storie. But I like it. Are you going to do anymore stories? But please do, I haven't read your other stories. But I will soon
Please reply soon
I love it! It's definitely an original plotline, something I haven't come across in a while. I can't wait for the next installment, hopefully I don't have to wait too long! ^^
it's a great story, can't wait to read the rest of it!!
keep up the good work!! :D
|icesyvey - Wednesday May 25, 2005 at 00:24|
Hey J-chan... hehe I have to say I love this story. I finally finished reading the chapters and can't wait for the new ones. You seriously had me crying at the end of chapter 9. Anyway good work.
NOOOOO!!!!! how could you!?leave it write there?i mean like c'mon...your story is absolutley breath taking!you are an absolutle amazing author!everything in this story is amazing...every bit of detail...i can not put in into words how much this is amazing...i will be tracking this story definatley...plz update this soon!i will be checking every day!love always
|Dagger - Saturday March 26, 2005 at 06:21|
*tears* I have never read somthing like this it is so vivid in my mind.. I anticipate your next chapter... as most of us..it has touched me deeply.
|Ezza - Saturday March 12, 2005 at 23:39|
your stroy is progressing very well! i can't wait to here how it goes from here, very touching moment with the young child.
J, it's been a while since I was so genuinely moved by a piece of writing, and the emotion with which you wrote left tears in my eyes. I am overjoyed that you chose to continue this, and I am anxious to find out how sucessful the females were, how the sexes will make amends, or if the females with act in a similar fashion as their male counterparts did, seizing power with malice.
I admire you for knowing that stories can't always come out the best for everyone, and sometimes characters we love must die to bring the story to life, not make it some fantasy where every character the reader has come to love makes it out all right, but real life is far from like that.
This story is so incredibly origonal and political. Before I could read all of this chapter I had to leave for a phone-a-thon (club activity to raise money for post prom), but as always this story made me question everything I did and said while venturing outside, comparing it to Usagi's world. The bright clothes I was wearing, the freedom to leave my house without question and drive to my destination, and the respect with which I was met by my peers and those I spoke with on the phone.
I think that American women take a lot of our lives for granted, and just how free we are compared to the women in your story, who are fictious, but also to women who actually lived, as recent as 200, 100, and 50 years ago... Not to mention the women held in slavery all around the world *today*.
Your story has feeling and your characters are real. I can't wait to read the next chapter, and I hope that you write swiftly, though I admire you for taking your time to allow you to produce a better finished product.
please keep going that was wonderful!!!
|Critika - Friday February 25, 2005 at 04:51|
I'm sure this story is hard for you to write since it's so laden with emotions. You've done a great job though, and I look forward to the last chapter and epilogue.
|MMHYUM - Wednesday February 23, 2005 at 23:40|
I was lucky enough to come across this story only a few weeks ago, but now it's my turn to wait for the rest of it `;]
I love Usagi's character in this fic. You make her so strong, loveable, and pure. Even after Beryl's betrayal, she still helped her. 'Just sad about Chika
I'm anxious to find out what happens next, especially with her pregnancy!
|Leeza - Wednesday February 23, 2005 at 07:50|
Gosh, this story is so darn good. I love it and the fact that it is such a consious and thought provoking story.
i love this story, you have a wonderful talent. the flow of your story is great and it keeps me on my seat waiting for the next part. Great job
|Loki - Tuesday February 22, 2005 at 18:33|
Okay, I understand why this story is so popular. I don't know why it's taken me so long to finally read this amazing piece of writing. I think your plot is a winner as your reviews have clearly demonstrated. You've challenged the patriarchal dominion brilliantly, and from a male point of view I'm glad you have, a balance is still away off, but hopefully we'll get there. Characterisation, visualisation, writing style all fabulous, a shade post-modern I think works extremely well, I look forward to reading more, from a WISE advice pooint of view, the minor spelling errors were negligable & easily fixed. just embrace this story & polish it to a brilliant sheen-it deserves the best don't you think? ^_^ so my belated congratulations on a fine piece of authorship! *hands you a garland of silver roses* L. "A Moon Cat is forever WISE, love your stories!" =^_^=
|jennie - Monday February 21, 2005 at 23:11|
I had almost given up on this story. I'm so happy that you updated!! Yay! That was a great chapter. Very emotional. You are a great writter and you pull me into your story. I can't wait to see what's going to happen next!
Hey J'Chan. All I can really say is WOW. You left me in suspense throughout the entire story. I had to re-read it to refresh myself. I feel like pulling my hair out because that was the last chapter for now. This sounds so corny, but your story has touched me. It's sad to read about females and what they have to do to survive in the world. I don't really write reviews, but to inspire you-here's mine. =] Keep writing, J. You're doing a wonderful job.
|LadyA - Monday February 21, 2005 at 10:49|
*Bows in deepest respect and gratitude*
|Sabra - Monday February 21, 2005 at 07:22|
As always, I wait in eager suspense for the next chapter. (Even if it means waiting another year.. though I hope not.)
This chapter brought tears to my eyes countless times, and I appreciate so much, the insight you've given us into the lives of your characters. We get to know them, experience their feelings, thoughts, emotions and lives.. You're doing an amazing job. Keep Writing!
wow! After such a long wait, to come out with such a dramatic chapter as that was... wow! I was pleased to see the roles of Ami and Matoko increased and it was very well written. Keep up the good work.
i love this story and cant wait for the next chapter...your a great author and we all cant wait to see whats gonna happen next...keep up the great work
|nika1107 - Sunday February 20, 2005 at 09:11|
and here i am, happy that i waited patiently for the next chapter ^^ I was so ecstatic when I saw this chapter, and as I read it, I see nothing but beauty in your writing. Each scene flows very well, and its imagery, very prominent. No errors in spelling/grammar of course. Of course, I will wait for the next chapter patiently again. Just take your time in getting amazing ideas and writing them. Great job!
I will give you all the inspiration and encouragment you need to help you post another chapter. I find this story refreshingly vivid, and the flow is wonderful. I couldn't find any errors, but how could I when you have a wonderful editor. You had my heart racing with this chapter, the suspence was driving me crazy. I was reading it so fast that I had to tell myself a few times to slow down and enjoy what I was reading. I will be waiting for the next post, I just hope that it doesn't take a year and a half like last time. I hope your fingers are swift and your ideas swifter! Until next time.
|Usagi - Sunday February 20, 2005 at 03:13|
Ah, the chapter made me very sad. Mamo-chan, Chika...
But the update made me very happy. :) o.O I am excuited to read the next update whenever that may be. :) ^^ thank you for another chapter dearie *hugs*
|MMHYUM - Thursday February 10, 2005 at 00:39|
First off-- Please update this story soon!
This is a story of so much courage, and hope.. And yet pain. I thought your characters were very well described. I was on the edge of my seat at the end of this chapter (I believe it's the last chapter you have up at this time, Ch8) and then I realized there was no more!
I hope to read more of your work soon!
|Lara - Wednesday February 09, 2005 at 11:19|
PLEASE update soon! I read this story about a year and a half ago and even though it wasn't updated or anything, I just HAD to read it from start to finish again. And I discovered that there was more to the last chapter than what I read the first time. My pulse is racing, I'm so anxious. I don't know how long I can deal with this story being up in the air like this. And just another question, was the pregnancy this just a mistake or were they still waiting for the results from Ami? I hope to read more soon, but if not, then I'll just have to keep on re-reading the story! Good luck! -Lara
|Anonymous - Wednesday January 19, 2005 at 18:02|
ChibiJ, Your story 'For Sale' has got to be the most desturbing...the most unright..and the most unique story I have ever read! Keep it up, you've got me wanting for more. It's so exciting!
|astro - Thursday January 13, 2005 at 16:53|
ok, I want update and I want it now!!!!!!
by the way, great story, I actually cried a little...
I still am a little blown away as I write this...
congrats, and I want update!
|chibimoom - Friday December 31, 2004 at 00:27|
I'm loving your story so so sooo much! I love the plot and all. So creative! You've got some talent.
I got all excited about this chapter, although i'm not at all thrilled about the ending (but it is good). Keep up the good work and i can't wait till your next update.
Love ya lots!
|chibimoom - Saturday November 13, 2004 at 19:07|
So far i've only read up to the fourth chap.
and I'm just loving! *gasp* chap. four is totally breath
taking! That last line....WOW! Totally sweet *ekk*
Continue on the good job....I LOVE IT!
|brat - Tuesday August 10, 2004 at 20:03|
Please write some more....start your typing on my count 1,2,3 GO...........Well we're waiting!
|jennie - Wednesday July 21, 2004 at 03:44|
okay. i just want to say that i am very ticked off. that was
seriously one great fan fic. and and....there is no more to
read!!! *sob* whats a girl to do. i started reading knowing
that it was incomplete but i really didnt think that it would be as good as it turned out to be and now i want to
cry. i never should have read that. but i will tell you what. you can make it up to me by finishing the story. then
i will love you forever. keep up the great writting. -j
I just got around to reading the last two chapters you had posted for this story. *blushes* I just wanted to say that you had me at the edge of my seat. I think my heart was beating rapidly all throughout Chapter 8.
I wonder how Usagi, Mamoru, and the rest will be able to get out of the bad situation they are currently in. I only hope they'll be able to end the cruel treatment against women.
You did great as usual on the chapters, J. ^_^
WRITE MORE,WRITE MORE,WRITE MORE!!!!!!! i have to know what happens next!!!!!! i am so hooked!! this story is amzing!!! you should become a writer! i almost cried at some parts. this is the BEST STORY EVER!!!!!!!!!! . .
|armobaby - Monday July 12, 2004 at 18:56|
u have 2 continue is usagi pregnant and is mamoru gonna save her plz hurry so we can find it
|lyss - Monday May 17, 2004 at 02:15|
VERY, VERY, VERY GODD!!!!!!!!!!!!! i've only read the first chapter but i absolutely love it!! the plot is a refreshing change from other fare...well i hope u finish what uv started!!! excellent!!!
|cryina - Friday April 30, 2004 at 17:23|
I loved it... really loved it. Update?
enjoying this story thoroughly. Hoping for an update fairly soon!!
omg keep writing.. this is good!!! =D
you gotta write more!! please please please update!
this is an excellent story! i love it!
|Anonymous - Thursday December 04, 2003 at 02:45|
A brilliant story. It's too hard to stop reading, and you are being very cruel not to add more too it. It inspires us other writers to aim to reach the high standard you have reached. Congratulations on writing a story that anyone would nejoy and read over and over again.
|Roxanne - Monday November 03, 2003 at 20:35|
Awesome! I love this whole story. It's very different from anything I have ever read. I could have killed Beryl though. Please update soon. I'm dying to know what happens to mamoru!
Finish the story... PLEASE!!!
I almost died of a heart attack.....
Usagi has to safe.. she has to be...
Please.. Please... finish the story...
..~..*..~..A Fan In Need..~..*..~..
oh its so good please write more!
This is such a ood sotry! Please Update soon! I hate suspence!!!!
Great story, keep up the good work!
'Boom-booming', ha ha! That was really funny. Please update soon (no pressure...)! This was a great chapter. I can't wait to find out what happens to everyone in the house.
*Pushes ChibiJ off of the CLIFF that she HUNG her readers on*.....Great story, can't wait to read more!
did I mention I dislike cliffhangers?:)
|swiss - Tuesday August 05, 2003 at 18:48|
Oh Wow! I love this story. You must update as fast as you can.
|nika1107 - Tuesday July 29, 2003 at 05:38|
ei cj-chan, when are u gonna be able to update the next chapter? i'm really looking forward to read the next chapter of this wonderful story... i hope you'll be able to finish this before the summer ends so that i wouldn't be bored with my classes and just daydream about your story... *wink wink*
please, please, PLEASE write soon!!! i'm really really begging you!!! *hands clasped together, down on my 2 knees, begging cj-chan to write more[hehe...]*(you DID tell us to encourage you to write... so that's what i'm doing!)
|RENA630 - Monday July 28, 2003 at 06:56|
You are so creative! Geez how did you come up with such a wonderful plot? And such a scarey one at that! You are truley amazing! Oh and dont worry if you take awhile on getting the next chappy out! I'm working on the competition too and it does cloud your mind!
P.S. Ummmm just a final word of wisdom from the oh so mighty Rena: MEN ARE TOTAL SCUM! ( Well except for Mamo-chan, SK, and of course Mr. Aria!)
OOOHH NOO..not another cliffhanger..oh well guess i'll just have to wait for the next chapter..PHU-LEZZ UPDATE IT SOON... lol
Cliffie!!! How could you?
Kill me ...
Really nice chapter now where's my axe? *holds axe over J-chan's head* GET ANOTHER CHAP OUT SOON!!!
MORE!!! OMG what a great chapter! MORE MORE MORE!!!!! *smile* :)
Whoa... this story was REALLY GOOD!!!u have got to update this story soon before i go burserk trying to figure out what happens.and i don't look pretty when i use my brain tooo much.j/k... phu-lezz with a cherry on top.^_^
OMG CJ you did it again! Another edge of your seat chapter! I swear I was crossing my fingers for Mo-chan and Usa when the officers were searching!! *she grins falsely at CJ, all the while planning a machine that will suck her talents dry and insert them into herself*
You have a good day now! (hehehehehe...)
|Serafina - Saturday June 21, 2003 at 23:05|
First let me say that I'm an extremely lazy person (99% of the time...) so I waited until just now to submit a review (even though I've read each chapter as soon as the story was updated...) *sigh* yes...tis true, I'm a lazy bum. But it doesn't take away from the fact that I read the entire story so far and I'm completely in LOVE with it!!
*cheers and shouts for ChibiJ's great story*
The fact that the plot is so original alone makes the story interesting. I don't believe that I've ever read a fanfic that has ever dealt with the issue of slavery and belittlement such as this. To top it off, you were able to do it so that the story had class and wasn't offensive, but in a way informative. The story flows well and it is easy to read and follow. Usagi doesn't just throw herself at Mamo in the first chapter and everythin just seems right. I have to say that this is definitely one of my favorite fics that I've read.
*looks at long-winded review*
uh...hehe, *nervous laugh* I'm gonna shut up now. I've taken up enuf space as it is. Kudos!!
Wow! Love the story. It was something that i have never read before but wow. I hope you write more and I can't wait to hear about Beryl getting her come around. Bye and good luck! :)
|lacyloss - Tuesday June 17, 2003 at 13:09|
Do you have to leave us at the end of our seats!!!!Oh please oh please finish this i so like luv it!!!!!!!!!keep up the good work!!!!!!!!
WOW!!! This story is truely amazing! The plot is good and the characters well developed. Update soon!
|arwen - Saturday June 07, 2003 at 14:27|
PLEASE FINISH IT SOON PLEASE.
|arwen - Wednesday June 04, 2003 at 22:57|
yo whats next you can't leave it there whats going to happen next you have to finish it please I want to really,really,really,really,really,really know.please finish it soon really soon.
P.S. please, and pretty please finish it
|Poshers - Wednesday June 04, 2003 at 00:13|
Hey j-chan. great cjhapter. very well written have that next one out soon. ^_^
Why did you call it "boombooming?"
Good job, J. Smith is a loser.
Great. Can't wait to read more.
|Ezza - Tuesday June 03, 2003 at 07:53|
WONDERFULL! just wonderfull. the story is really developing into a masterpiece!!!!
Loved it and I hope u continue it!!
|Kumochan - Tuesday June 03, 2003 at 02:15|
Great chapter! It wasn't too long (*gasp* not possible) and as for the 'boom booming'...*giggles* Anyways, great chapter as usual!
|Stargirl - Tuesday June 03, 2003 at 02:12|
Wonderful new chapter! I love how you portrayed lil Chika... she's so cute and the epitome of toddlerism. *grinz* The whole story is just moving along, engrossing me further. This plot is just so unique, scary but very grabbing. I think you're doing a terrific job with this world you've created. Can't wait for more. =)
|Sabra - Tuesday June 03, 2003 at 00:12|
NOOO!!! How much longer do I have to wait until the NEXXT chapter comes out!? I couldn't live with the wait last time! PUHLEEZE get the next chapter out soon! I'm BEGGING you! *gets down on knees* Keep writing!
oh wow! That chapter was soo good. Chika reminds me of my little cousin. She was 4 when she left for Africa on a Missionaries trip. The abundance of energy was what got me the most. This was a very original story, and I really enjoy reading it. Please get the next chapter out soon.
oh god, that's so sad (even though I'm not protesting that beryl has to go through all that, she deserves it more than poor Usa), DEATH TO MALES!!!!(EXCEPT MAMORU)
|Usagi - Monday June 02, 2003 at 15:04|
^__^ again a great chapter! hehe. I particularly love how you mixed in the homeliness of family.. the tragedy.. the nuaghtiness... and the jealously all in one chapter. It kept things interesting and a great variety. :) My fav part had to be the parts where Mamo and Usa were exhuasted from Chika. I babysit.. and lil' ones can exhuast you to no ends... hehe I also loved the scene where Minako tried to explain 'the-mommy-daddy-game' (hehe) to Chika. :) It was a great and fufilling chapter..and LOOONG TOO :) in a GOOOOD way. :) Chibij - thanks for taking your tiem to write another wondreful chapter Ls- thanks for editing it so we can all enjoy it in all its glory *huggles both*
|arwen - Monday June 02, 2003 at 14:48|
I luv it whats going to happen next now that beryl is gone and how will momoru stop any thing eles from happening angian to the frest of the females
eek!!! I NEED more!!!!I'm gonna kill you if you don't! so can you plz finish it or get another chapter out? I love it
Whew! Finally got to reading this story which was on my list of the many stories I wanted to read! =P The idea is so unique, and it made me shudder to think about how awful it would be if this were for real. Half the time I felt like wringing the necks of those despicable men. GRRR! You did a good job on it and I can't wait for the next chapter.
|Acid - Thursday May 22, 2003 at 07:27|
Ugh.. sorry, I got sidetracked with life. Don't you love sisters? I don't, i wish i could shoot mine.
1. "Anyhow," he began again, "The charges
A: "Anyhow," he began again FULLSTOP "The charges
2. "So a couple officers got killed.
A: A couple of officers
3. a rather amusing site to his tired eyes.
A: sight, not site. tut tut, too much webpage for you missy.
4. "Mamoru," Rei started in an attempt to gain his attention, "You will have to tell them all something."
A: Fullstop before the third quotation mark. No comma.
5. "Publicly," Usagi rolled the word out, "meaning that Chiba Corp has a more private side?"
A: See above.
6. Mamoru asked with a joking voice and the slight raise of his eyebrows.
A: and a slight raise of this eyebrows.
7. Both Mamoru and Usagi nodded their head in understanding.
A: hee hee, they only have one head between the two??
8. "But sir," another female spoke up, "We've heard
A: not a comma, a fullstop before the quotation mark (the third one).
9. with Usagi and Minako close behind them.
A: behind him. not them.
10. "So," Mamoru started with a light voice, "Who's in the
A: started with a light voice. "Who's
11. the chubby anchor of the local news channel came on the TV.
A: doesn't make sense in the sentence, change the 'came on' to 'said on'
12. She didn't need to look up to know that Mamoru had entered in the kitchen behind her.
A: something about that sentence doens't work. "She didn't need to look up to know that Mamoru had entered the kitchen and was behind her." ..?
13. "But it wasn't enough," Usagi continued, "I should
A: the fullstop comma thing.
14. Releasing the small sigh
A: THE sigh?? Wow.. special. Try 'a'.
Ooh, bugger, the plot thickens.
That was a good chapter, though some bits were slightly cliched.
Keep it up.
|Acid - Sunday May 11, 2003 at 11:59|
*looks in amusement at you*
You DID fix it! *laughs* I didn't expect to have a message delivered to me, i must say, but thank you, i'm touched you tried to contact me!
1. But on the top floor of Chiba Estates
A: Try not to start a sentence with 'But' at all, and especially not the start of one at the start of a paragraph!!
2. a rather amusing site to his tired eyes. But there
A: The same thing, with the but thing... you did it somewhere above the first mistake too. A lot of ones like this you can simply fix by replacing the fullstop for a comma.
3. He entered the dark apartment and assumed that Usagi must be sleeping in her room. But as he began to walk down the hall,
A: and again...
4. Mamoru felt a chill breeze
A: a chill breeze?? a chilly breeze maybe? Or a chilled breeze... wait, would that be like sticking it in the freezer???
5. Her thoughts had been so centered on Mamoru and life and all things that a mind wanders to when let be.
A: I hope you know that makes no sense, what-so-ever.
6. after her lips left his own. But when he opened his eyes,
A: the but thing.
7. she could tell. But it was apparent
A: but thing.
8. "No. But I'm not sure what we have,"
A: but thing. Geez, it's almost like we have a nudist colony in here...
9. where they nursed on coffee and small powdered donuts.
A: that sounds plain weird.. could you say "they nursed coffee and ate small powdered donuts." ? Maybe its just me.
10. "Umm...Good morning
A: space between '...' and Good.
Well, that's it for tonight. I'll do more later.
|arwen - Wednesday April 30, 2003 at 22:52|
stories doing great but your so mean because you ended it and I really want to know what will happen after they found the little girl.
|Aallycat - Thursday April 10, 2003 at 22:50|
|arwen - Monday April 07, 2003 at 20:00|
yo what happens after they find the child.
|EllaRose - Friday April 04, 2003 at 05:21|
I'm sooo HOOKED! This reminds me a lot of THE GIVER and Ayn Rand's ANTHEM.
Please write more!!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYMamo-chan wasn't arrested. And while we are all greatful, that was hardly the point was it? *shakes head* I'm sorry, i guess i used my zeal over Mamoru's 'innocence' in place of... well nothing. I was speachless. What do you say to something as horrible as what happened to Tesu? Slavery = Bad. Period. I'm reading Tsuki no Namida as well, another story involving slavery. When you read stories like yours and TNN, you can't help but think how hopeless the situation is... But can you? Slavery CAN and HAS been overcome. I am interested to see how it will play out here.
Wonderful chapter CJ, I egerly await teh next! (And please, in less than 2 months LS! ^_~)
I'm trying to surpress this urge I have to storm out and kill those officers. Slowly. Painfully. Messily.
Has anyone read The Belgariad or Mallorean? They would understand what I meant if I said I wanted to use an Ulgo knife. Those things have all these little hooks. The don't do very much damage going in, it's pulling them out that hurts. I REALLY want to try one out on those police officers right now.
Another great chapter ChibiJ!! It was well worth the wait.
|Alisai - Saturday March 08, 2003 at 08:31|
Oh,.. I love this story! It portrays Mamoru in a completely different light.. maybe because the idea is so original. I know I'm going to be one of 'them' by saying.. "write more or suffer my wrath!". hehe,. don't ask.
|Joey - Friday March 07, 2003 at 23:13|
i'm not much of a talker...haha...contin. soon
|Anonymous - Friday March 07, 2003 at 13:48|
This is one of the most original plots I have ever read! And I love your writing style. I can't wait to read how the story turns out!
|Bejiin - Friday March 07, 2003 at 06:20|
Yatta! Another chapter from J san... you know I should be studying biochemistry right now since I have an evil midterm tomorrow but this was just too good so I stopped and read it ^^;; (Bad bad Bej, ne?)
OK STUDY TIME!
|Stargirl - Friday March 07, 2003 at 01:36|
Ah more chappies!! Wonderful. This story is forever building in power---I impatiently wait for the rest.
|Poshers - Friday March 07, 2003 at 01:29|
Wow, CJ, this story is really powerful. I think that this story is amazing, and i cant wait for the next chapter. but take as long as you need!
|Katarina - Thursday March 06, 2003 at 15:48|
WOW! I love this story, it's original and so very well written. Keep up your great work, it's definitely worth waiting for the installments.
|Kumochan - Sunday March 02, 2003 at 02:08|
I love it! Please get the next chapter out quick before I die, okie? *grins* I remember how it was when I first read WIWALG!!!
OMG that was amazing. You reviewed my story a while back and i saw this story in the new chapters section when i went to post my own. Wow. I've enevr read anything more origonal in my life. It had the air of 1984 to it, (one of my favorite books) and was just... incredible. Well you are sort of 'famous' on this site, but there was no telling how this was going to be. WOW WOW WOW. Sorry, all i can say. I hope for the next chapter soon but it's good to know that there are still authors worth waiting for! THANK YOU CHIBIJ!
|moongurl - Friday January 03, 2003 at 04:25|
MORE!!!!!!! PLease e-mail me when you update! I am dying to know what happens next! E-mail me at email@example.com
|cfluter - Thursday January 02, 2003 at 11:15|
kinda reminded me of Schindler's List ^^
which i thought was a great movie!
but nice twist with the male/female domination thing...
anyway, don't just leave us hanging...
i'm dying to know how this story ends up.....
|browneyes - Tuesday December 31, 2002 at 17:45|
This is a great story. It's easy to read, but still a very elegant story. Very well organized and smooth flowing. Keep up the good work!
|Anonymous - Tuesday December 31, 2002 at 07:58|
Talk about a cliffhanger..
Good none the less. Most enjoyable.
was at least one think worth living for
-one think,huh.. one think, two thinks..?-
and strong as a mighty tree hundreds of years old.
-comma after the word 'tree'-
"Ladies," he began, but paused as the lump in his throat needed a moment to pass, "Ladies, today you have heard of a tragedy
-needed a moment to pass 'fullstop'-
Soon after the whispers at the tables turned to normal speech and it was as if it were any other night at the Chiba Estates dinner tables.
-..turned to normal speech 'comma', and it was....-
Desert arrived on the
-really??? They served a desolte place to them after dinner? fancy.-
|Sabra - Tuesday December 31, 2002 at 03:12|
. . . . .HOW COULD YOU?! OW COULD YOU LEAVE US WITH SUCHA CLIFFHANGER?! GGGGAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! NEwayz...keepwriting! I love your story.
|cel1999 - Monday December 30, 2002 at 23:22|
|Poshers - Monday December 30, 2002 at 19:48|
o0o! j-chan! how can you leave us with a cliffhanger like that? great chapter, and make sure u get the next one out ASAP!
|Anonymous - Monday December 30, 2002 at 17:19|
what is this all about. i hope that they aren't there to take him away like they did with the other man and his daughter.
oh you cruel girl!
i loved this chapter because of the angst felt within it and how there was so much more action going on, while still our fav couple's relationship develops and is strengthened from the incident. i enjoyed it a lot, i can't find anything to point out, and i'm glad that someone as good as LS could edit a fic as excellent as this one! can't wait to see more j ^_^
|cici - Monday December 30, 2002 at 10:28|
im gonna knock you across the head if you dont put out the next chapter ASAP...like by the end of next week...im just gonna die if i dont know soon whats gong to happen..:)
Leaving me in suspence!Finsh!
I feel like killing who ever thought up the cliff-hanger...well at least rough him up a bit. You must write more!! My fragile emotions can't handle the stress. Ja.
You evil cliffhanger person you!!!!!!
So far, I'm absolutely enthralled....I simply cannot wait for the next part.
|Anonymous - Sunday December 29, 2002 at 22:04|
J-chan! That was great! I personally loved the part where he was rocking her to sleep, that was so sweet. Ah, the ending has me waiting in anticipation for the next chapter...I wanna know what happens!! *Waves fist at J* Next chapter, pronto! ^^ Take cares! I can't wait to read the next chapter with what happens to Mamoru and those men! Bye, J-chan! *Hugs*
|Sere2002 - Sunday December 29, 2002 at 21:57|
I must say that is the cruelest cliffhanger I have ever read! I can't believe that you ended it like that!! I must say the power you have to draw people into your web is awe-inspiring! I applaud your writing technique with enthusiasm! BRAVO!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHH! How could u do this to me????? Why???? Why stop there???? Poor Mamoru! I hope you don't toture him... ::glares:: ::takes out knife sharpener:: ^^
*scowls at CJ or "the almighty J-sama"* How dare you leave me with another cliff hanger! *glares* If you hurt one hair on Mamo's head..... *draws a line across her neck with her finger* It better not be that b***h, Beryl, snitching them out. *stabs Beryl with passion*
|Usagi - Sunday December 29, 2002 at 18:38|
First and foremost .. you evil Cliffe queen. >
Oh wow J! That was an awesome cliff hanger. Bravo. I swear, I was teary eyed when I read that one scene. lol, Now get on the ball and hurry up and update! I loved it so much, I'm gonna go read it again. Ciao for now!-Twigs
|Pheosha - Thursday December 26, 2002 at 21:09|
I want more!!! lol Great job! amazing writing, truely inspring work. Well I can't wait to see the next chapter! Keep up the good work!
*screams* I hate cliffhangers.....although, I should be talkin'. Don't let my name and writing fool you, I DO read U/M stories... i.e. This one^^ Good job!
|Serafina - Monday December 23, 2002 at 23:49|
OMG!! thats so good!! How could you leave chapter 4 like that!! Oo!! This story is great. Needlessto say, I'm waiting for the next one! No surprise for the +1000 views! Kudos
|Serafina - Monday December 23, 2002 at 23:49|
OMG!! thats so good!! How could you leave chapter 4 like that!! Oo!! This story is great. Needlessto say, I'm waiting for the next one! No surprise for the +1000 views! Kudos
|Serafina - Monday December 23, 2002 at 23:49|
OMG!! thats so good!! How could you leave chapter 4 like that!! Oo!! This story is great. Needlessto say, I'm waiting for the next one! No surprise for the +1000 views! Kudos
|Bejiin - Saturday December 21, 2002 at 06:48|
EVIL but yay! You updated. And let me take this moment to encourage all usage of TAFF. TAFF is a good and beautiful thing and it's your friend ^_~
I eagerly await the next part J Sama so put it out soon ^^;
Nooo!!!!! *dives of cliff* YOU MUST CONTINUE! I saw the story name and was like, 'Yay! Finally! Another chapter!' And now here I am begging for yet *another* chapter! Please get more out soon! This story is so great!
|ladysolo - Friday December 20, 2002 at 06:32|
*giggles with delight* ^__^ The dream sequence was a little unexpected, but it worked somehow. This chapter though seemed to move a little faster than the others, and I don't know if it was because it was shorter or what, but it was still good and can't wait to see where it goes next. :D
EGAD! You just can't leave me hanging here! *wails and tugs at CJ* So unfair! *pouts*
Keep up the great work! I can't wait to read more! Don't keep me waiting for long.
NO YOU DID NOT END IT THERE!!!!!! Another wonderful chapter from you...cannot believe it. Once again, I absolutely love it.
Your story is really great! I love it! Please continue really soon! *smile* :)
|Poshers - Thursday December 19, 2002 at 02:15|
Hurry up with those chapters J-chan! this story is awesome! and addicting!
|Medea - Thursday December 19, 2002 at 01:51|
SOOOOOOO GOOD!!! MORE mOrE PWeaSE!!!!!!
|Joey - Thursday December 19, 2002 at 01:33|
nooooooo, that was such a big cliffy. argh
fantastic story! its interesting! contin. soon!
|Ariel - Wednesday December 18, 2002 at 20:36|
That was sooooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!!!! You know I adore your storie!!!!!!! MORE MORE!!!!!!!!!
Oh wow J! I loved it! So good, I applaud you. Now hurry up and get those other chapters out! haha, now it's my turn to harass you!
Ciao for now!-Twiggy
|The-Baron - Wednesday December 18, 2002 at 20:14|
more, more please :> This story was great
|cel1999 - Wednesday December 18, 2002 at 16:44|
Write NEW CHAPTER NOW!!!!
The tempo of your story really rolls well -- not too much,
and not too little. Just enough to keep us intrigued and begging for more. Grr.... Wants another chapter and will have to wait ages for another...
Oh, no, no no no no no no. Please dont do that again... cutting it off there.. such cruel torment.. i need more. please?
You know you have to get more chapters out, don't you? There were some spelling mistakes and I think you forgot to take out one editor's note at the top. Other than that, it was another great chapter.
|RaveN - Wednesday December 18, 2002 at 14:56|
ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! You simply CANNOT leave me HANGING THERE! ARGH!!!!!! MORE! please? *grin*
I guess this story shows that we should be grateful for every thing, including our freedom. This story is the best. It really made me relize how much our freedom is really is.
|LynNhi - Friday December 13, 2002 at 21:40|
that was so good! I love this story please finish it. The setting is very original...I think there's lot of possibilities for this story plus you're really great at descriptions. Please write more!!
|s_midnite - Friday December 13, 2002 at 21:00|
That's all I've got to say.
Oh yeah, when's the next chapter?
|Anonymous - Monday December 02, 2002 at 11:55|
I swear, your story gets better by the chapter. I could not turn away while reading. This story has me captivated!!
|cel1999 - Tuesday November 26, 2002 at 05:22|
It's graphic. But very poignant at the same time. The society that you have created here is interesting, although I'm anxious to know more about it, and why everything is so different for Mamoru and his family. I'm also wondering why Usagi and all of the other girls are so important (other then Sailor Moon). I can wait for the next chapter because the game of intrigue is definitely going on in this piece -- although I hope to see some of these issues developed in the chapters ahead.
|Anonymous - Sunday November 24, 2002 at 04:02|
Wonderful! Please continue!
|Skysong - Thursday November 21, 2002 at 08:49|
*DANCES ABOUT THE ROOM IN ESTATIC JOY!*
CJ GAVE US ANOTHER CHAPTER.....SHE'S SOOO SWEEET!
*TACKLES HER AND STARTS TO HUG THE LIFE OUT OF HER*
AND IT'S A SWEET, MOVING, WONERFUL CHAPTER TOO!
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!
CJ, i have soooo much appreciation...that i'm not even going to bug you about getting out the next chapter fast. We know that you are a very busy and successful woman.... and if you just can't find the time to ship us a magnificent chapter right away we...I understand.
thanks again....and know how much we luv this story! (and you too)
Wow, sad story for us women but yet really ppwerful, But I think it got annoying after using monotone 10 times. How about Passive? No emotion? Lifeless?
Good story keep going!
|cel1999 - Wednesday November 20, 2002 at 22:54|
I'm really enjoying what you have going here with this story! Keep it up! The plot line is interesting so far and you ahve left yourself lots of room to take this story any direction that you would like to go with it. Can't wait for your next chapter and I hope it will be some time soon!
|PLSere - Wednesday November 20, 2002 at 16:38|
This story is so good. Poor Usagi! Please write more soon.
|Katarina - Wednesday November 20, 2002 at 16:30|
Very well written! I love what you've got so far. It's very original, which isn't easy with all the stories out there and I can't wait to read how the story continues!
|Anonymous - Wednesday November 20, 2002 at 03:53|
Oh... I LOVE YOU!!! You didn't leave me with cruel cliffhangers.. WRITE MORE! God if our world turned nto that, I would just die... No power for women? Especially since I long admired the women activists. Keep up the good job!
|ladysolo - Tuesday November 19, 2002 at 07:09|
*looks at CR's review and bursts out laughing* What she said. :D
CJ that was great! Well, not great in the sense that what happened to Usagi in this chapter was great, but it was well told and not at all disgusting and yucky. Well, it _was_ disgusting and yucky but you know what I mean, right? *stabs CJ for making her contradict herself twice*
Seriously though, if this chapter is any indication, I think I smell another masterpiece. Now, continue writing, you whore-in-every-sense-of-the-word-including-review whore!
*blink* Poor thing. No wonder she was all subserviant. GOOD CHAPTER!!!! BRAVISSIMO!
*has males raped by Beryl* Obo, bring the gasoline. Bob, bring the flamethrower. I'll get the wood. We have work to do.
J-chan! This chapter was sad! I can't wait to read your next chapter of "For Sale"! Great job!
|Sabra - Sunday November 17, 2002 at 16:32|
wow...*stares in awe*...wow....I love this story....I mean...it's just....wow.....Keep writing!
|Anonymous - Saturday November 16, 2002 at 02:31|
such a great story
such a great story
put up more chapters soon!!
i love it!
|Poshers - Wednesday November 13, 2002 at 20:42|
c'mon J-chan! you cant hold me in this much suspense! please please PLEASE have the next chapter out as soon as you can get it! i love the story. it is most certainly an original.
|Anonymous - Monday November 11, 2002 at 03:33|
Hey, that's a pretty good story! But it wasn't a pretty good place to stop, ya' know?~.^
|RaveN - Sunday November 10, 2002 at 13:11|
This is really really good, very interesting...more more! *grin* please? hehe. Yay!
*shriek* THAT'S IT?!?! *bash bash* YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE ME THERE?!?!?! *stab stab* YOU SON OF A ^$^%$%@! ^%$&^&^&!!!
Bobo: . . .
Young banana, where did you learn to be such a potty mouth?!
|Anonymous - Thursday November 07, 2002 at 15:23|
This is better than the first chapter. Keep up the good work!!
|ladysolo - Thursday November 07, 2002 at 01:52|
*sharpens scapel and flips through the pages of a medical procedure showing how to remove a liver* Bad place to end it, my friend, VERY bad place to end it.
|Anonymous - Tuesday November 05, 2002 at 20:08|
this tsory is soooooooo awesome!!! please write more as soon as you can, i can't wait for the next chapter!!!
|Anonymous - Tuesday November 05, 2002 at 12:54|
That is so mean. Please write the next chapter as soon as possible.
|Usagi - Monday November 04, 2002 at 23:49|
I can't get over this story.
As I have said I really like this story. It may just end up being my favorite of yours , and that is saying alot sense you are one heck of a writer. You have YET to dissapoint me , but when you do .. I'll inform you ^__^.
Okay I like the fact that Mamoru is nice becuase in so many slave/master fics he is not( He is a cruel sex slave who then turns sweet).I also like how you staged it in the future and how you have shown a cycle in the male/female power. After all, history often repeats itself. My favorite part is probably the scene where Usagi goes to Mamoru's bed chamber and he sleeps on the couch , then the note. I don't know, it was just funny and unexpected. As there are only two installmenst I can only say the above.
I hope to read more but don't rush Chibij. I realize that each chapter is an unforced gift to its reader and that I should be lucky that you so kindly take time to write these stories for our viewing pleasure.
|Anonymous - Saturday November 02, 2002 at 01:10|
Great Story! Write more soon please!
I think i'll have to eat you now.
Bad J-chan! BAD!!
Da-me! Dame dame dame!! (bad bad bad)
You WILL get hte next chapter out, hear me?
Ps. *laughs* So Blondie DID do me this favour!! Thanks Blondie!
*blink Blink* OMG!!!!!!! This is the first time i've read this...and OMG! I sooo cannot wait for the next chapter! Bravo!!
|Anonymous - Friday November 01, 2002 at 22:10|
Wow, I really realy liked it. which is weird because I'm not into male/female domination fics. Can't wait till the next part comes out...but it better be soon!!!
|Sabra - Friday November 01, 2002 at 21:57|
GAH! I can't believe that I dont have another chapter to read! GET IT OUT SOON!!!! Please???? Keep writing!
|Anonymous - Friday November 01, 2002 at 21:49|
AWwww, you wrote more!!! thank you***
I thought chapter two was in the other chapter cuz you put the prologue, chapter one and two together. Oh well, who am I to question your dubious genius? *grins wickedly* Great chapter, btw. I like how you set this story in what seems like the old world, with slave girls and such, but in modern times. Does that make sense? Oh well, if it doesn't, just smile and nod like you always do. I can't wait for the next chapter!
*falls to the floor nad has some sort of fit*
YOU STARTED A STORY AND DIDN'T TELL ME!!!
*sits up and bursts into tears*
And it was so goooooooood........
You better get another chapter our, goddamn!!!
NOW NOW NOW!!
*jumps up and down in anguish*
|Anonymous - Thursday October 31, 2002 at 21:00|
Your title interested me. Your intro intrigued me even further. Finally I had to read the entire story, or what you have of it. Your plot is very unique. I am still in awe over it. Very well written.
|LadyMoon - Saturday October 26, 2002 at 15:11|
(holds up fist and growls)Listen you! This had better be finished soon and I mean it!!!!!!!!!
|Anonymous - Saturday October 26, 2002 at 14:18|
this story is great! write more as soon as possible!
|TaTa - Friday October 25, 2002 at 19:29|
Hmm.. Sounds interesting so far. The plot seems very original, though I would like some more explanations about the Training Centre, and the war. Hehe, I can't wait to hear about how Minako got there and what happened to separate their family.
|Sabra - Thursday October 24, 2002 at 23:57|
I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!! You have GOT to get the next chapter out!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!! It's awesome! I love it! *laughs happily* one amazing fanfic! I love it! Please get the next chapter out soon! PLEASE??
Bye! Keep writing!
|Anonymous - Thursday October 24, 2002 at 13:33|
Oh my God! That was so harsh. Just when it started to get really good you end it. I'm going to tell my friend to read this because it is sooooooo good. Please write another chapter soon.
Wow... I've never read a story like this before! You did a fabulous job on it! Thank god you decided to make the chapter longer... I woulda had to email you way to many times to get more of the story... which I may just do if you don't write MORE soon!
|Poshers - Wednesday October 23, 2002 at 19:29|
i love it! make sure you have the next chap out VERY soon!
|Anonymous - Wednesday October 23, 2002 at 18:45|
AHHHH! please write more asap!!
|Bejiin - Wednesday October 23, 2002 at 18:34|
*grins* WOW.... you rule the world J san! This is such a neat idea. Keep it up and put more out soon! *glomps*
|ladysolo - Wednesday October 23, 2002 at 16:19|
Thank you J for giving me more. :) Now you REALLY got me hooked. I must say that Mamoru has a nice get-up, eh? Living with all those women? ;_; I wanna live with him. Can you write me into the story?
|Anonymous - Wednesday October 23, 2002 at 08:44|
OOOOOOOOO........interesting.......write more....i have a feeling its gonna be a really good story!
|Clover - Wednesday October 23, 2002 at 01:58|
Well, it's definitely different but in a good way. I like it, and I'd like to see more of it.
It is kind of sad, though.
This looks to be an interesting story. I can wait to read it! Ja.
|Poshers - Tuesday October 22, 2002 at 22:20|
CJ! i love it! its great! make sure you rite those chapters fast!
Your MUST continue on with this story! I like the it so far! I think you have a great idea for this story and I can't wait to see what shall happen next!
|ladysolo - Tuesday October 22, 2002 at 20:50|
J! My twin! WOW! @_@ I love what you have going here! You just HAVE to write more, daaaaling. hehe. Seriously, ChibiJ, you DO have to write more of this. This is my type of story. It's a GREAT idea, not to mention original, and well, what looks like a Usagi and Mamoru romance. That means you have to write more. I don't care if no one else reads this: you're going to write this story for me. And if you don't write more, well, I'll just have to eat your liver...er, or something. Right now I can't think of any good threats to light a fire under your muse to get you typing, but I'm sure I'll think of some later. I'll let you know. ;)
SIX OUT OF FIVE! WOOO! -_-;; Oh, wait. I can't give it six out of five. *curses* Well, um, in MY world, I gave it six out of five. :D
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