Genre: Adventure, Humour, Mystery, Romance|
Sarah Davis was just your ordinary embittered college freshman, longing for a romance like the one in her beloved series, Sailor Moon. Until one day she is transported to the Silver Millennium only to learn that she is Princess Serenity's reincarnation, and her last hope...R&R!
Number of Chapters: 4 Total Size: 162k Word Count: 29,680
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Ahh, cliffhanger! Over the course of the last five days, I've read this all the way through and despite a few grammatical errors, I really enjoyed it. I'll be looking out for the next update!
|heaven85 - Tuesday January 06, 2015 at 07:33|
Great job. Can't wait to find out more.
|Loki - Saturday January 03, 2015 at 05:48|
Oh I've hungered, wished and wanted to be in Sarah's shoes, but, what a twist! hahaha!
I was thrown into the story like I'd not left it since your last update. I must say it remans for me one of the most enchanting and fascinating stories I've read on AI and I've read plenty of good ones!
I cannot wait for more. Like you I will get back to my writing after a long break, so here's to plenty more from ou hon, thank you for the magic!!! XXX
|Uzume - Tuesday December 16, 2014 at 22:40|
I love it! I can't wait to find out what happens next, I hope you update soon.
|Uzume - Tuesday December 16, 2014 at 21:46|
I just finished the first chapter, and I loved it! The banter between Sarah and Molly was really fun to read, and the story has me excited to find out what happens next, especially with the intriguing ending.
I'm really enthralled by what you have written so far. The plot is exciting and relatable but with just the right amount of fantasy added. I love your characterisation of Sarah and Darren and most especially Molly, she's fabulous. I have lots of questions so I hope that you are back for good now so that I can get some of them answered. Great story. Welcome back!
|Loki - Thursday July 01, 2010 at 19:25|
So good to see you back girl! I enjoyed this chapter, and what a cliffhanger, I see a little trouble ahead, but like every storm, we hope for that silver lining...
|Critika - Monday February 06, 2006 at 17:08|
Well after LLL, I'm definately looking forward to another one of your stories! I don't remember the original JAO, so I'm looking at this with pretty fresh eyes - and loving it!
As for the technical stuff, I saw some minor punctuation stuff and some usage problems. For example, you used the word 'bored' to mean the thing that professors write on.:)
Okay, having said that, I want to say that this story is great so far! I like the strong characterization of Sarah. You cleverly give us insight into her personality through dialogue and emotions rather than narrative on her history. As for Darren, he's still a mystery to me, but that's okay if you are planning to tell the story from Sarah's point of view. Since you switch to Haruka and Michiru's point of view and to third person, it seems like Darren is the only person who is a mystery in the story. Again, not a flaw per say, just an observation.
Anyway, I think you've given good background and established personalities well in chapters 1 & 2. I'm looking forward to having the rest of the gang enter the story and the plot to build. I have high expectations from a talented author like yourselves - just a warning!
|Bethany - Sunday February 05, 2006 at 17:32|
Ooooo I love it! Sarah and Darren's personalities are great! I can't wait to see what happens and see exactly what you have in store for Sarah. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more!
|mya86 - Tuesday January 17, 2006 at 03:36|
Love it!!! can't wait to read the rest...
|Loki - Sunday December 18, 2005 at 17:11|
Okay, I have read quite a few stories, and each one has something special going for it, and very few I leave unread once started.
WISE: This one is such a treasure. I will get the constructive points out the way first. I noticed a few problems with punctuation, x (!? or ?!) These drag down any good story -- and believe me, your story is great! I detected minor flaws, some expression and grammar, but over-all these were only occasional. But on a scale of 1 to 10 I gave this a 9. The structural issues are easly fixed via story manager.
Plot: Brilliantly conceived -- the idea of placing the mistress of Sailor Moon indirectoly into the narrative a stroke of genius. Your characterisation is excellent. The Silver Millennium descriptions incredibly good. Endymion to Serenity and the cats, Luna a beautiful job there. The dream concept woven throughout the narrative a great storytelling device and you use it well. Rick and Darren I thought amazing. The re-working of the meeting between Sara and Darren so funny. Dialogue contemporary and works great. I loved the descriptions of campus life, Sara has punch and a heart, angst content great, and the affect over-all I can tell is superb and I suspect shall continue. The coffee shop with Rick and the scene at the chapters end was cleverly done. This is a Sailor Moon fan fic lovers fic! LOL By that I mean, it is well thought out, entertaining and hooks the reader and does and says all the right things and has a powerful undercurrent that I sense is the conviction and passion in your ability to create for us a fantastic story. The intrigue you introduce at chapters end, compelling.
In short, I think this one a potential classic in the making. Just polish the technical points. Your visualisation, vocabulary, voice and world building skills and humor come to the fore and I hope this story continues to its conclusion. I love it CW, and I will recommend and put it in my faves! Salutations on a job well done thus far.
*hands you a bunch of pink and red roses and bows* L A Moon Cat is forever WISE, love this story!
|Critika - Monday December 05, 2005 at 05:22|