Arias Ink - Information about moonflower

Thinking Over
Reviewed by Anonymous - Monday June 15, 2009 at 20:40

OMG I WANTED TO CRY IN THE END. LOVED IT... IT WAS SO CUTE.. NICE TOUCH WITH THE MUSIC BOX ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT IT.

The Heartfelt Confession
Reviewed by Nich - Saturday November 01, 2008 at 06:07

Oh how sweet! Great work!

The Heartfelt Confession
Reviewed by LadyKurma - Tuesday July 15, 2008 at 21:08

great story they should have kiss at the day.

I Need to be Next to You
Reviewed by lilann - Thursday August 17, 2006 at 14:55

Thats very sweet.

I Need to be Next to You
Reviewed by SailorPheonix3 - Saturday July 29, 2006 at 23:35

That is soooo sweet and nice. A rainbow in the rain.

I Need to be Next to You
Reviewed by sailorflower21 - Wednesday July 12, 2006 at 19:45

this was the most beautiful story i have ever read!

I Need to be Next to You
Reviewed by Anja - Tuesday July 11, 2006 at 22:28

This was very sweet and cute. As I mentioned before in one of your other stories, you have a knack for portraying a person's insecurities and the turmoil that goes on in their head.

At the end I found Serena a little OOC, in the part where she confessed that she loved Darien since she wouldn't talk like that and use those kinds of words. Otherwise you managed to capture her sweetness and concern quiet well.

I really liked how you opened the story, describing the scene that Darien saw from his window. It set the mood very nicely for the whole story. Your descriptions are very good since they have detail, but are not drenched in so much detail that the reader pays more attention to the scenery than the story. Well done.

From Across the Room
Reviewed by SailorPheonix3 - Saturday July 01, 2006 at 15:27

That was really good work! I liked how you gave the charaters emotions on a mature realistic level. Great job!

From Across the Room
Reviewed by Loki - Thursday June 29, 2006 at 23:40

Hauntingly enchanting

WISE, well, I am for one, (and I know there are many others who have read and enjoyed your work in the past), who will be glad to see an author such as yourself come up with such a pearl.

Beautifully written, a crafted piece of magic, affect smoldering and its allure unquestioningly passionate and sexy, yet sad -- flecked with danger, mystique and atmosphere. A gem to be sure. I do hope to see yourself and some of our other long-standing AI members come up with exciting new works. Congrats on this stunning vignette! *Loki hands you a cluster of golden roses and bows* L.

Thinking Over
Reviewed by Anja - Wednesday June 28, 2006 at 22:20

You have a knack for drawing out emotions that’s for sure. The way that you portrayed Serena's doubt was nicely done.
There are a few grammar errors you may want to fix up. For example, when you wrote:
"The glittering lights of the city were a mixture of silver and gold that dazzled a person's eyes with its radiance," there are more lights than just one, so at the end it should be "...with their radiance..."
Also when you wrote:
'Then that meant...oh my God! He was here!' Since it's Serena thinking, it should be in the present tense, "'That means...oh my God! He's here!'"

When you wrote: "Instead, he was more subdued and cautious as if he were bracing himself for the worse." It should be "worst" not "worse."
One more: "He was sitting on the couch waiting for her to come join him, but seemed rooted to her spot by the door," it would say, "...but SHE seemed rooted..."

Anyway, little things like that are littered through the story, so you might want to re-read it or get a Beta to check it over for you. Oh yeah, one more I just thought of, you mentioned in one part her legs being heavy as lead, but you said that only one was that heavy, so you might want to change it to both legs. Also in some parts you slipped into present tense of speaking when the bulk of your story is in past tense, so you should choose one and stick with it.
I liked how you used flashbacks in your story, where Serena thought about her memories with Darien, and how wonderful a man he really is. In my opinion she seemed too insecure, but I suppose there are girls our there that would react the way Serena did. I found the end a bit sudden, and the music box part kind of cheesy, but overall I thought the story was pretty good. You know how to show a person's insecurity, and it's nice to see someone writing about a marriage proposal in which a girl doesn't start jumping up and down screaming "YES" as soon as the guy gets down on one knee.

Overall interesting just needs a little touching up.